I have never been married, but I'm at that age (39) where my social circle has been flooded with divorces for more than five years now. All three of my closest friends have gone through nasty divorces. All three of these men were close to suicidal, and I’ve spent hundreds of hours on the phone with these guys throughout this time period.
I’ve always had a certain respect for what a marriage is, or is supposed to be. Life means life, to me. For better or for worse, means what it says, to me. Marriage is useless otherwise, to me. It means nothing without those things.
Many men have called me and said
“I’m getting a f***ing divorce!”
My answer has always been:
“No, you’re not. Tell me what happened.”
I've tried to help them stay. That was my number one goal.
Unfortunately, my answer has changed.
If the man has no children with her, my answer now is:
“Divorce her ass, now! Before it’s too late!”
If it’s already so bad without children, I can’t in good conscious try to convince a friend to stay married.
When children are involved, I have to treat them differently. But the difference now is that instead of trying to keep them together at all costs, I try to stay neutral for a while, to allow them to try to work it out, do counseling and all of that. That's the responsible thing for a friend to do, but after some time I begin to look to these questions to decide what to do.
1. “Is this marriage going to end anyway? Whether it's 5 or 15 years from now.
2. “Are these children watching their parents abuse each other? Is one parent treating the other so poorly in front of the children that this is a poorer example of a marriage than no marriage at all?”
If so, then it’s the same answer as the men without children.
“Divorce her ass, now! Before it’s too late! And fight for as much custody as you possibly can. Give her nothing without a fight”
Sadly, this makes sense to me now. I’ve seen too much. It’s better to start over at 30 than 50. It’s better for kids not to have to watch their mother call their father a “little *****” or a "piece of ****" on a regular basis.
When a 6 year old boy asks his father
“Dad, why is mommy so mean to you all the time?”
It’s time to go. Fvck these broads. Divorce their asses. She's the one who's going to end up stuck alone because her old bitchy dried-up egg having ass has a bunch of kids, not you. You are still attractive. You are still marketable. You are not lucky to have her. She is not better than you. You can do better, men.
I’ve always had a certain respect for what a marriage is, or is supposed to be. Life means life, to me. For better or for worse, means what it says, to me. Marriage is useless otherwise, to me. It means nothing without those things.
Many men have called me and said
“I’m getting a f***ing divorce!”
My answer has always been:
“No, you’re not. Tell me what happened.”
I've tried to help them stay. That was my number one goal.
Unfortunately, my answer has changed.
If the man has no children with her, my answer now is:
“Divorce her ass, now! Before it’s too late!”
If it’s already so bad without children, I can’t in good conscious try to convince a friend to stay married.
When children are involved, I have to treat them differently. But the difference now is that instead of trying to keep them together at all costs, I try to stay neutral for a while, to allow them to try to work it out, do counseling and all of that. That's the responsible thing for a friend to do, but after some time I begin to look to these questions to decide what to do.
1. “Is this marriage going to end anyway? Whether it's 5 or 15 years from now.
2. “Are these children watching their parents abuse each other? Is one parent treating the other so poorly in front of the children that this is a poorer example of a marriage than no marriage at all?”
If so, then it’s the same answer as the men without children.
“Divorce her ass, now! Before it’s too late! And fight for as much custody as you possibly can. Give her nothing without a fight”
Sadly, this makes sense to me now. I’ve seen too much. It’s better to start over at 30 than 50. It’s better for kids not to have to watch their mother call their father a “little *****” or a "piece of ****" on a regular basis.
When a 6 year old boy asks his father
“Dad, why is mommy so mean to you all the time?”
It’s time to go. Fvck these broads. Divorce their asses. She's the one who's going to end up stuck alone because her old bitchy dried-up egg having ass has a bunch of kids, not you. You are still attractive. You are still marketable. You are not lucky to have her. She is not better than you. You can do better, men.
