Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
.You should have said (in response to the tit buying comment): "No thanks, pal. I like her tits just the way they are
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Very good mentallity.DavenJuan said:I completely agree. as a matter of fact, i would be SHOCKED if this wasnt the case.
but you and joe are forgetting the most important thing...
IF this is all it takes for her to cheat, lie, whatever, then so be it.
he plants little seeds in her head and she runs for the hills? Why is this my problem?
i think i thought this way for a long time, but her being a bartender i realized awhile ago that it is a waste of my time to concern myself with what people say, do, or act in regards to any gf of mine. i have NO CONTROL over what ppl say to her, plant in her head, or in this case...GIVE HER.
For example:
a guy walks into the bar. charming, good looking, money. hes a doctor. he sees my gf and starts throwing comments at her, blah blah blah. asks about me and belittles my career, my suitability, blah blah.
how do i prevent this? i cant. its not for me to prevent. if thiis is all it takes for her to move on, then she did me a favor. i dont want to waste my time on someone like this.
now.. she may find this "doctor" attractive, she may like the fact he provides financial wealth and can give her whatever she wants and desires. She likes the way he dresses, she thinks he smells wonderful
then she starts to think, my bf doesnt look THAT good in his suit. he isnt making THAT kindve money.
..but at the end of the day, he is not ME. and if she or any gf loses sight of that and cheats, then I AM the one who benefits.
Totally agree with you.Francisco d'Anconia said:From the beginning I didn't believe this guy was a threat. Now that DavenJuan has given more background info, I really don't think this guy is a threat. Like DJ said, he's amusing to watch. If by some strange quirk of fate or misalignment of the planets DJ's girl falls for this guy, DJ will definitely be better off without her.
After hearing more about this.....agreed!iqqi said:I think DJ atleast has a great mentality.
Maybe the boss isn't so much a threat, but the GF's willingness to put herself in that situation is alarming.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I logged back on today just so I could post something about how their relationship is such that she feels free to talk to him like that; glad to see others caught it.in reference to her speaking to him like that. i can see why it would look like a BAD thing. i actually would think the same thing IF i didnt know my gf.
The physical description was just the icing on the cake. Is demeanor while under the influence was what dropped him down even lower than wanting to go to a tittybar even though he's married and a couple of other things. If Daven hadn't said anything about his perceived Napoleon complex I would have still guessed he was trying to compensate for something.Latinoman said:Totally agree with you.
It was VERY important to read about the physical description of the guy to put things in perspective.