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Men afraid to approach?

Zimbabwe

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I notice old guys have way more confidence and no inhibitions when it comes to approaching. I saw this 50 year old Anglo straight up flirting with the 22 year old German bartender while all the guys my age just sat silently watching.
 

Robert28

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It’s not that I’m afraid to approach anymore. It’s more that I don’t feel like wasting the energy to get a number, have it go nowhere or maybe we go on a few dates and they ghost or drop the “not over my ex” bomb after a few dates. Approaching never leads anywhere anymore and yeah I know you aren’t supposed to have expectations but honestly if the outcome is always the same, why bother? I was standing next to this beautiful Latino girl the other day for a good 10 mins, could have easily struck up a conversation with her because she wasn’t on her phone or anything, but I was like “nah, it’ll just turn out to be like all the rest, why do that to yourself, just leave it alone” so I did.
 

SargeMaximus

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It’s not that I’m afraid to approach anymore. It’s more that I don’t feel like wasting the energy to get a number, have it go nowhere or maybe we go on a few dates and they ghost or drop the “not over my ex” bomb after a few dates. Approaching never leads anywhere anymore and yeah I know you aren’t supposed to have expectations but honestly if the outcome is always the same, why bother? I was standing next to this beautiful Latino girl the other day for a good 10 mins, could have easily struck up a conversation with her because she wasn’t on her phone or anything, but I was like “nah, it’ll just turn out to be like all the rest, why do that to yourself, just leave it alone” so I did.
This
 

TonyJ78

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It’s not that I’m afraid to approach anymore. It’s more that I don’t feel like wasting the energy to get a number, have it go nowhere or maybe we go on a few dates and they ghost or drop the “not over my ex” bomb after a few dates. Approaching never leads anywhere anymore and yeah I know you aren’t supposed to have expectations but honestly if the outcome is always the same, why bother? I was standing next to this beautiful Latino girl the other day for a good 10 mins, could have easily struck up a conversation with her because she wasn’t on her phone or anything, but I was like “nah, it’ll just turn out to be like all the rest, why do that to yourself, just leave it alone” so I did.
I get what you're saying - it can be frustrating to say the least. But I'm just curious, with this mindset, how exactly do you meet women? Or have you just given up on them altogether?
 

Robert28

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I get what you're saying - it can be frustrating to say the least. But I'm just curious, with this mindset, how exactly do you meet women? Or have you just given up on them altogether?
I gave up, I have no interest meeting women right now much less going on dates and wasting time with them. When I was doing online dating I’d get plenty of matches but I’d be too lazy to even email them or respond when they emailed me first, I knew what the end result was going to be anyways and got off online dating not long after.
 

Black Widow Void

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I would attribute this mostly to environmental reasons.

With each passing decade, more boys becoming young men are being raised in single households. Because the mother is typically rewarded custody (or she's single and intended on birthing or didn't use birth control) their main environment is more feminine.

In addition, there's a media agenda to make adult men appear incompetent and lacking masculinity; thus compounding a negative image of men/masculinity and reinforcing unhealthy pro-feminine attitudes on impressionable young men.

Also, when I was growing up, we were lucky if we had one "skin magazine." After a while, we'd grow tired of whacking it to the same photos after a while and get 'hungry' enough to go out and game women. Fast forward to the present. Young men these days can click a different porn site any time the urge hits - which removes their 'hunger' to desire approaching women in real life.
 

SW15

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It’s not that I’m afraid to approach anymore. It’s more that I don’t feel like wasting the energy to get a number, have it go nowhere or maybe we go on a few dates and they ghost or drop the “not over my ex” bomb after a few dates. Approaching never leads anywhere anymore and yeah I know you aren’t supposed to have expectations but honestly if the outcome is always the same, why bother? I was standing next to this beautiful Latino girl the other day for a good 10 mins, could have easily struck up a conversation with her because she wasn’t on her phone or anything, but I was like “nah, it’ll just turn out to be like all the rest, why do that to yourself, just leave it alone” so I did.
It seems like you have been traumatized by too many failed approaches and too many failed interactions. You've got to work through that somehow.

With that said, this response isn't that uncommon. Female standards have been quite high in the past 10-15 years. This is in part due to swipe apps and terrible ratios. Even without swipe apps, ratios have been getting worse for younger men.

A lot of men aren't making the cut and are having bad experiences, both with the swipe apps and with approaches.

Bad experiences will make men more afraid to approach.

Also, when I was growing up, we were lucky if we had one "skin magazine." After a while, we'd grow tired of whacking it to the same photos after a while and get 'hungry' enough to go out and game women. Fast forward to the present. Young men these days can click a different porn site any time the urge hits - which removes their 'hunger' to desire approaching women in real life.
This is a huge part of the problem. No porn is a key part of being an approacher.
 

biggoal

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It seems like you have been traumatized by too many failed approaches and too many failed interactions. You've got to work through that somehow.

With that said, this response isn't that uncommon. Female standards have been quite high in the past 10-15 years. This is in part due to swipe apps and terrible ratios. Even without swipe apps, ratios have been getting worse for younger men.

A lot of men aren't making the cut and are having bad experiences, both with the swipe apps and with approaches.

Bad experiences will make men more afraid to approach.



This is a huge part of the problem. No porn is a key part of being an approacher.
What would be the reasons for bad ratios?

All i can think of is that so many women are f*ckee up. I mean not mentally, but obese, full of tats, piercings that maybe 15 percent of the population of women 30 and under are approachable.

I'm 38 but when i was 21 i dont remember nearly the amount of whales and tatted and pierced up women like i see now at that age.

Even 2012 when i went back to university it wasn't this bad.
 

Slowhandluke

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What would be the reasons for bad ratios?

All i can think of is that so many women are f*ckee up. I mean not mentally, but obese, full of tats, piercings that maybe 15 percent of the population of women 30 and under are approachable.

I'm 38 but when i was 21 i dont remember nearly the amount of whales and tatted and pierced up women like i see now at that age.

Even 2012 when i went back to university it wasn't this bad.
Women don't know how to be women... and OLD has them delusional...
 

biggoal

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Women don't know how to be women... and OLD has them delusional...
Except even with the sh**** state of the modern population and obesity i still see far more hotter women irl than on old. A whale under 30 as long as shes not morbidly obese can still get messages or swipes on old while irl doesnt get that attention. So you have tatted up or obese women with an inflated ego. So you can only imagine how more inflated an hb8s is.
 

BadBoy89

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In addition, there's a media agenda to make adult men appear incompetent and lacking masculinity; thus compounding a negative image of men/masculinity and reinforcing unhealthy pro-feminine attitudes on impressionable young men.
Good point. The rich and powerful know-how to brainwash and keep the young hot women for themselves.

Also, when I was growing up, we were lucky if we had one "skin magazine." After a while, we'd grow tired of whacking it to the same photos after a while and get 'hungry' enough to go out and game women. Fast forward to the present. Young men these days can click a different porn site any time the urge hits - which removes their 'hunger' to desire approaching women in real life.
Another good point. I would also add the "hunger" is removed because women are not virgins, expect more, have legal power, can divorce at whim, and destroy the man whenever they feel like it.

Dr. Dre, worth $800,000,000 US (cash), had the best lawyers in the history of America, yet couldn't handle his wife when she wanted a divorce. She put him in the hospital without touching him.

Yet laymen at Sosuave are supposed to handle women.

Brutal.
 

Smok1nAce

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Exactly, the hunger for women is just not their.

men have so many outlets and ways to entertain themselves, not to mention free p0rn on demand.

then on the other hand you have a b1tchy fat tattooed girl with a massive inferiority complex, that come across as “high standards”.

At this point dateing most women will only drag you down.
 

Bingo-Player

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Unfortunately young women also play their part in the demise

I don't mind approaching any woman that gives me the signals to approach her a glance , a smile , a twirl of the hair whatever it takes a lot of balls to do it smoothly but i will do it on cue

However most young women have horrendous attitude problems a lot quite literally don't look like they have any interest in being approached
 

Dr.Suave

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There are a lot of factors. But if most "men" are not approaching girls maybe its a good thing for us?
 

Hamurabimbi

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I notice old guys have way more confidence and no inhibitions when it comes to approaching. I saw this 50 year old Anglo straight up flirting with the 22 year old German bartender while all the guys my age just sat silently watching.
True. I think it’s generational. The whole ‘me2’ & sexusl harassment & such are just background noise for me. I’m pretty outrageous at work and never got in trouble (girls are far more risqué at work, than me, though). I flirt constantly. One of my younger, male, coworker said, with some astonishment, ‘you just don’t stop talking to girls, do you?’ I think growing up when men & women weren’t perceived as enemies is a huge advantage.
When I became single in late ‘18, I was initially cautious, as aware of the ‘gender cold-war’. But I soon discovered. It’s just propaganda. Even in deep blue NoCal, women still crave the D.
 

AureliusMaximus

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Well the issue is that when we guys these days do approach girls in these #meetoo times they are calling it "cat calling" and "toxic masculinity" which obviously is bs and leftist bullsheit.

Not that it is stopping me from it, but you always these days have chance that they react out of that fvcking #meetoo frame which is really annoying.

They do "secretly dream" of being approached by a dude and that is probably true to a degree which I will explain below.
The thing is it is not just any dude.
It must be high value guys that is fits all sixes and ticks off her shopping list which will be allowed and approved to approach her..

If you fit all sixes then she will highly likely like and approve your approach, but for the all the other guys, (that is the other 90% of AFCs and the plebs.; She will hate them for it and call the police and spam their photo/video on social media with the hash tag #harrassed #meetoo #toxic-masculinity and tell everyone how awful it was and how scared she was for her life etc.

So girls don't dream of any guy that approach them at the coffee shop.

It is that "special top tier" guy approaching her that she hopes and dreams for.

In other words: Not you!
 
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