It seems the nyc guys do it and have serious balls too!! Then again thats nyc and not the norm. I doubt it in that video i posted if you tried that in some random city in Oklahoma the locals would like it. Most people walk in nyc so thats probably why interactions are more the norm there.
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Men afraid to approach?
- Thread starter Hamurabimbi
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Most guys know they aren’t Chad and it’s not worth it to even try. I think most guys are more self aware than most women are to be honest. No guy in his right mind wants to approach 100 women and risk rejection 100 times. Not even 50. Some of us have been brutally rejected a couple times in the past and learned our lesson and don’t feel like risking our ego. The other things that keep me away are attention *****s and time wasters, girls that’ll go on a few dates and then Friendzone you or drop the “not over my ex yet” bomb on you.
AureliusMaximus
Master Don Juan
Well a lot guys could learn a lot from working in sales position for while because the game theory is pretty much the same.
Let say you basically approach 100 customers and out of that you will get maybe 3-5 that ends up being a paying client. 15-25 will show some kind of interest , but will ghost you, the rest will just say "Fvck you, no way" directly over the phone.
The game is pretty much the same and you learn how to now give a flying fvck and that rejections really do not matter. In the end of the day its the "Yes'es" that you will remember and that will matter. The "No's" doesn't matter at all.
Rejection is just a temporary state in life. But when you get the "Yes'es" it can potentially change your life forever.
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oldmanofthesea
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You are right, except for that last line. You CAN be that guy.
I do think that modern women's expectations in men have become increasingly out of touch with reality. But there isn't anything we can do about that. It is what it is. We can all sit around and ***** here about the fact that it isn't 1950 any more, but this is the reality of the situation we are in. All we can do is accept and adapt and work with the reality of the world around us. Women are having sex with men and there is no reason you can't be that man.
I have approached countless women and have been that "special top tier guy". I can't be that guy for every single woman I approach (no one can), but after following and practicing the well-known and commonly discussed techniques here (including self-development, health, dress, and game), I can be that guy for many women. If you are a 4, you aren't going to get 8's all day long. But if you can accept that and willing and able to put in the work to get with women within or a bit above your league, there is simply no reason you can't succeed.
Unless a guy is a 4 or on the autism spectrum in a really, really bad way, and he is only going for 7s and above, there is no reason he should be rejected 100 times out of 100 approaches. If you were brutally rejected several times and that prevents you from approaching any women in the future, you will need to work on your inner game. If Tom Brady loses a game or two, does he say, "Wow I learned my lesson - not going to play any more." If you feel a woman telling you she isn't interested in you romantically is harming your ego, you need to work on your mindset. If you feel threatened by attention *****s, you are approaching the dating wrong. If you are escalating and not over-investing nor providing free validation, you aren't at much risk. The only time I felt like I was wasting my time on AW's was back when I wasn't escalating fast enough, wasn't reading the signs properly, and was over-pursuing with relationship vibes.
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sangheilios
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I feel experiences that men like @Robert28 are actually quite common, I can relate to much of what he is saying. I had a string of experiences of getting single dates not progressing further, numbers that lead to flaked out dates, etc. Given enough experiences like this, you can start having some internal issues going on with your self-confidence. Before I started posting on here I thought I was an outlier, as I had no idea if this was going on with other men or not. The reality is that most men are not going to be open with consistent failures like this, I don't have to explain why that is.
Something that is quite real though is that women have a ridiculous degree of access to men and have tons of them lined up, this even goes for fatties and ugly women. There was an obese woman I knew a couple years ago, I'm talking average height and well over 200 pounds, that had a couple dozen men hitting her up on her phone on a regular basis. I can cite a few other known examples like this and it gives a good picture of how the dating market is functioning. I also can cite several examples of women who openly admitted to leading men on for simply attention, this is very common and I've personally experienced this. I also can cite some examples of women admitting to using men to go on dates, they may do this for a free drink or activity or even just using the men to just have something to do so that they aren't sitting bored at home. The problem with this is these women are literally just using these men that they may have little to no interest in. Again, this type of stuff is far more common than most of us would care to admit or even realize.
With all of this said, not all women are like this but learning how to spot these red flags is fairly easy once you've experienced it. One of the issues though is that many men are in a state of (extreme)scarcity when it comes to the opposite sex, so the natural tendency is to chase. It's really not a great dating market for young men today and quite unfortunate that they have to experience this. You know this is a major issue when there are tons of youtube channels dedicated to this that have countless views. I've already repeated this a million times on here, but I've had women point out an obese woman and tell me that is my league, and they are saying this to a man that is 6'4" and one of the fittest guys at the gym. How do you think they view average men or those that are legitimately below average? I guarantee you they'd feel that those men are not at all worthy of dating at all.......you should be totally alarmed by the thoughts and feelings of these women.
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AureliusMaximus
Master Don Juan
Of course. You are absolutely correct.
I was speaking in general terms for the sake of the post.
If you chose to chase excellence and not girls then you will be that guy.
Any guy can do that, (Unless you been dealt a really bad card and was born butt ugly).
We never have and never will since the beginning of time.
We will never be able to do anything about it nor can we change it.
If you want to change the world, start with yourself.
So what you can change and do something about is to become a better man in all areas.
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AureliusMaximus
Master Don Juan
Never hesitate and always take the shot.
Don't think, just act upon it instead.
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oldmanofthesea
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Not only that, but when you take a shot that works out, it may end up being a shot you'll remember the rest of your life. While in Eastern Europe a few years ago, I approached quite a lot of women during my walks from point A to point B. Any woman I thought was hot, I would approach. One of them was a 23yo professional ballerina with an understandably rocking body. We talked for a while, I got her number, called her a few days later, we had an awesome first date and it turned into a same night lay. We kept in touch, with her visiting me twice and my going back to see her in Eastern Europe once. Of course, I was dating other women during that time too, and ultimately I had to shut things off with her because I got exclusive with another girl for a while, but the experience of dating a hot 23yo ballerina at the age of 43-44, showing her America and traveling internationally with her over the course of a year or so is one I'll always remember. Had I not approached her, I never would have had these experiences and memories. I recently turned 46. I'm only getting older. Our time to experience things like this is not unlimited, just like our time on this planet is not unlimited. The time to act is now, just as you said.
AureliusMaximus
Master Don Juan
That's a great story, thanks for sharing mate.
These 200 lb women, what kind of men lined up? Were they too obese? Usually when I see a woman that fat they're paired up with a guy that fat as well, usually not a skinny guy from what I see IRL.
Actually, OLD works the best for obese people from what I've seen. Because those fat guys usually are aiming at women the same level. The 200lb women are not getting the attention a 130lb woman is getting on OLD I can tell you that. The problem with OLD is like 10 percent of the women are not fat. So you have all the guys going for the few left overs. Worse numbers than the Germans faced on the Eastern front in WW2!
It’s not regretting the shots you don’t take, in all honesty I regret the shots I HAVE taken. I regret hitting on all the girls that turned out to be attention *****s but it took me awhile to figure it out. I regret hitting on the girl that would go on 4 dates with me, not let me escalate no matter what (always had an excuse) and then claim she wasn’t over her ex but still went on 4 dates with me knowingly. I regret those, I don’t regret the ones that rejected me off the bat.
These days I need a clear cut IOI before I approach. If there's none, I don't bother. Just like in the video posted by @PowerQuest. But if I'm just walking down the street and see a cute woman, I'm not just going to automatically approach. Something about approaching every woman because she's attractive reeks of desperation.
I love how these New York guys hold frame and don't back down admitting they're cat calling. I especially like the guy towards the end of the last video. Basically says his daughter wouldn't dress like that. A lot of women dress like that just to get attention to boos their egos.
Attention to women is like crack to an addict. The constriction guy in the second video might be fat, BUT he says women don't mind. He's the Kevin James type guy. Might be a fatty BUT funny and doesn't come off as a scary creep but as a funny fat guy which some women find amusing if they have a funny personality like this guy does. Fat men who are funny can sometimes pull if off with women.
Masks Don’t Seem to Stifle Men Catcalling Women - YouTube
Woman Endures Cat Calls Walking in Street: 'It Makes You Feel Like A Fool' - YouTube
AureliusMaximus
Master Don Juan
The most funny, or- maybe a better word for it "ironic" is that the very same women that complain over cat calling are getting p|issed off when they no longer get cat called and all the attention is gone.
They don't want to admit the validation and attention they receive is something they like. Also same rule applies here sort of.
They like it when the " Mr. right" guy cat calls them. When "Mr. AFC" does it they complain over it and feel "unsafe".
That's why the free old apps are a waste. Women put profiles up just to see how many swipes they can show their coworkers or friends.
sangheilios
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With that particular example I cited I don't know, all I saw was the texts and messages she had. However, in 2018 there was a woman on a similar level, though she had a far worse personality, that had something like this going on and I do recall that several of the men that I saw were relatively normal/average looking man, not chads but not slobs. The point is that it's far more difficult for a 4/10 or below male to land dates than it is for his female equivalent. Because of the sheer amount of access to men they have, a female 3/10 can reasonably date a 5/10 male. This is just the reality of dating, though particularly with OLD, and it's not really any particular person's fault, it's just all of these variables at play in some manner or another play a role in all of this.
sangheilios
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I am actually in the same boat as you, I totally regret much of the time and energy I've wasted on women like this in the past. It eventually led to me giving up and focusing on other things in my life. You are not the only man that is having these experiences and women like this are quite common, possibly even the norm in today's world. Not all women are like this, but the reality is that this type of behavior is very common. The only thing you can honestly do is either totally give up, which may or may not be something that you feel comfortable with, or you can continue to put effort in. If you are looking to continue trying then the correct course of action is essentially learning how to spot red flags early on and quickly cut these women out so you aren't stringing yourself along and wasting your time. There are decent and attractive women out there, the reality is that most of them are locked down and all that's remaining is the leftovers.
Now, if you decide to totally go your own way, which there is nothing wrong with that, I feel that this is an internal decision you have to make. You should not require someone else to be happy, that comes from within yourself, and I believe that far too often people look to other people to "fullfill" them or seek happiness through another person. I feel that this is very creepy and weird, though this is very common from what I have seen.
The fact is, some guys will strike out more than others due to a multiple of reasons. Those who hit the wall with putting in time and effort with women NEED to GTOW and just work on theirselves. I have and I'm a better overall man for doing so. To the point where women just naturally appear with little to no effort. They smell the success or like the positive vibes I give off.
sangheilios
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I don't think it's a black and white answer that is easy to come to, thre are so many different variables and specific random circumstances at play.
Common sense answers to issues like this are things like get in shape, dress better, have proper hygiene, etc. These are definitely real answers for many men but do not at all apply to many as well. Some factors that are very hard to pinpoint are even related to the social scene and dating environment of your area, which is something you have absolutely no control over. For instance, the men in my area that seem to do well are super fake, douchebag types that spend money like there is no tomorrow but yet are broke af lol. The women are obsessed with some fake social media lifestyle and need attention and validation for everything and anything. If you aren't willing to mold yourself into something like this you won't fit in, no pun intended.
I honestly feel that most men are better off focusing on themselves and their purpose, this avoids chasing women and coming from a place of scarcity.
I'm pretty sure you're agreeing with everything I said. You're just using examples.
The bold part is the same in my experience and I'm betting for many others. I've also said before that a lot of women don't want a guy with money, they want a guy who will SPEND his money.
