Meeting up with EX tomorrow after over a year - Advice needed as im already in another relationship.

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Women like “cheaters.” They talk shvt about them then privately go sleep with these guys.

Look at Derrick Jaxn.

Why are you dealing in absolutes?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why are you dealing in absolutes?

Generalizations are not absolutes.

“Women like cheaters” =/= “Every woman likes cheaters.”

 

[Bokanovsky]

There were a few threads on the other forum just within the past couple of weeks created by women who dumped their "awesome" long time boyfriends for bad boy "players" who were sexy and hot but offered them nothing but great "chemistry" and hot sex.

I don't know why you find this surprising. Women are creatures of emotion. They will always pick something that feels good over something that is objectively good. The only time when a woman would not chose chemistry over objective positive qualities is when her survival instinct kicks in. If a woman knows that by choosing a "bad boy" she will end up on the street, she might go for the boring provider type. However, if a woman has some degree of financial independence, it's feelz over pragmatism 99% of the time.

 

[Barrister]

Women like “cheaters.” They talk shvt about them then privately go sleep with these guys.

Look at Derrick Jaxn.

I am not disputing that at all. Women definitely get tingles by "cheating" with us. No doubt about it. But it doesn't change the fact that I, for reasons not completely related to women, don't find the benefits to outweigh the risks. Not something I want.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don’t disagree with @catsmeow2 about cheating but there are plenty of high value men who do NOT do that.

Sorry about your parents. Your family background is similar to mine. My mother also had a JD and she divorced my dad over the mistress. Like your dad my father married the mistress and they were together until he passed. He did NOT cheat on my stepmom.

My mother never bothered to date and never remarried. She was just over it after the divorce.

And yes 95% women are insecure. But if a man has a woman who IS secure? An actual quality girl who is worthy of LTR or marrying? Treating her the same way as you treat the insecure neurotic women is a recipe for disaster.

And I’ve no beef with how @Pierce.Manhammer conducts himself. I know it works too. I personally know many players who slay like that or more.

So yes it can work (if a man is high enough value and the woman is without other options….)

But what I said remains true. Truly high value women will not tolerate it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Sorry about your parents. Your family background is similar to mine. My mother also had a JD and she divorced my dad over the mistress. Like your dad my father married the mistress and they were together until he passed. He did NOT cheat on my stepmom.

Oh perhaps he got better at not getting caught.

But if a man has a woman who IS secure?

No such thing. Why do women always express a preference for men who make them feel "safe" and "secure"? To compensate for something they naturally don't have. Women are insecure by nature, which goes hand-in-hand with being creatures of emotion. You cannot be emotional and NOT insecure. It's like being on fire and not being hot. Physically impossible.

 

[Gamisch]

Talking bout cheating..this is wild shyte.

This is what I mean. Some women (and men) just can't resist the excitement that comes along with cheating . I bet her lover ain't too happy when she wants to move in with him...the victim dude was the necessary fuel to heat up the affair, without his energy ,concerne and anger there is no "chance of getting caught " and it's just a dysfunctional relationship at best.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It is exciting to cheat on your boring lazy partner that has more skill in naming men tossing a ball around than pleasing a female. Normal women aren’t just going to risk a good men for something risky. Either way, she has to hope this new guy is better in bed, won’t pump and dump her, and not a fraud in general.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Talking bout cheating..this is wild shyte.

This is what I mean. Some women (and men) just can't resist the excitement that comes along with cheating . I bet her lover ain't too happy when she wants to move in with him...the victim dude was the necessary fuel to heat up the affair, without his energy ,concerne and anger there is no "chance of getting caught " and it's just a dysfunctional relationship at best.

That is the ultimate disrespect.

 

[Murk]

Fvck the ex and ghost her, try to record it on the sky for old times sake when you inevitably break up with current gf.

I’ve never not cheated. Nobody ever found out unless I told them. Nobody finds out unless you tell them or are walked in on (has never happened). Lots of homosexual virgin advice in this thread but that doesn’t surprise me.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I know a guy that used the family debit card for hotel rooms, supposedly by mistake…

Dude must be the worst cheater of all time then. I mean it's not that hard to not get caught even when you are doing it regularly. You have to be really really sloppy with things unless you are around people that know you.

 

[BeExcellent]

Listen. If you guys want to keep around insecure neurotic women? Carry on as you are doing.

But understand something. Think of high value people like college students at Harvard. It’s an exclusive group and very few people qualify. But if you are a Harvard grad? You have your choice of top opportunities out in the world and you command top dollar. If you have elite value in the SMP you also have your choices among the best mating options. And a man who will run around on a lesser chick will seek to Lock. You. Down. And he might mate guard too. You see he’s been around as a sought after man. He knows what’s up. And he also knows there are many many men who would love to get the girl he has because she is RARE and therefore valuable.

So he knows if he wants to stay partnered to a great woman? He is loyal. Just as he will accept nothing less, neither will she.

When you pull all this plate spinning game stuff and refuse to be loyal yourself?

Congratulations. You are selecting against quality and selecting for the trash. No wonder some of you don’t think quality women exist. You’ve screened them out already. Great news for a solid man who knows quality when he sees it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I know a guy that used the family debit card for hotel rooms, supposedly by mistake…

Wow...that is really bad...might as well just tell her yourself

 

[member160292]

Listen. If you guys want to keep around insecure neurotic women? Carry on as you are doing.

But understand something. Think of high value people like college students at Harvard. It’s an exclusive group and very few people qualify. But if you are a Harvard grad? You have your choice of top opportunities out in the world and you command top dollar. If you have elite value in the SMP you also have your choices among the best mating options. And a man who will run around on a lesser chick will seek to Lock. You. Down. And he might mate guard too. You see he’s been around as a sought after man. He knows what’s up. And he also knows there are many many men who would love to get the girl he has because she is RARE and therefore valuable.

So he knows if he wants to stay partnered to a great woman? He is loyal. Just as he will accept nothing less, neither will she.

When you pull all this plate spinning game stuff and refuse to be loyal yourself?

Congratulations. You are selecting against quality and selecting for the trash. No wonder some of you don’t think quality women exist. You’ve screened them out already. Great news for a solid man who knows quality when he sees it.

A woman’s perception on a quality woman is very different than that of a man’s

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The game (yes it’s a game), is rigged. Because the thirst is real, the percentage of women who consider themselves high value, is greater than that which actual high value men consider it to be.

Listen. If you guys want to keep around insecure neurotic women? Carry on as you are doing.

But understand something. Think of high value people like college students at Harvard. It’s an exclusive group and very few people qualify. But if you are a Harvard grad? You have your choice of top opportunities out in the world and you command top dollar. If you have elite value in the SMP you also have your choices among the best mating options. And a man who will run around on a lesser chick will seek to Lock. You. Down. And he might mate guard too. You see he’s been around as a sought after man. He knows what’s up. And he also knows there are many many men who would love to get the girl he has because she is RARE and therefore valuable.

So he knows if he wants to stay partnered to a great woman? He is loyal. Just as he will accept nothing less, neither will she.

When you pull all this plate spinning game stuff and refuse to be loyal yourself?

Congratulations. You are selecting against quality and selecting for the trash. No wonder some of you don’t think quality women exist. You’ve screened them out already. Great news for a solid man who knows quality when he sees it.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

A woman’s perception on a quality woman is very different than that of a man’s

even men have different values because it’s obvious on this site lol

 

[SW15]

There's a reason you have your current girlfriend. Keep it that way. Pretend your ex never existed. Everything will be better by doing that.

Congratulations. You are selecting against quality and selecting for the trash. No wonder some of you don’t think quality women exist. You’ve screened them out already. Great news for a solid man who knows quality when he sees it.

I think you and I had the same reaction but expressed in a bit different ways.

All women (unless they are insecure af) rather share a high value male than be saddled with a looser. And given the limited number of high value males, women have no choice but to share the high value males. All your ancestors have done it, and all your descendents will do it. It's just the human nature.

Truly high value women will NOT share. They will be alone first. And let’s face it….they are never alone….

Meaning they can require loyalty and have that met.

There's a saying in the Manosphere that women would rather share an alpha than have a loyal beta all to themselves.

There's a chance that @BeExcellent can be correct here. The argument she makes is that truly high value women won't share a man and that they'll be high value enough to get an alpha. That argument makes sense, but the big unknown is longevity. Can a high value woman retain an alpha male longer term? It's possible, and it also depends on the definition of longer term. 2-5 year relationship? Without a doubt. Long enough to raise at least one child to 18 years old without separating, usually meaning a 20-25 year long relationship? That's debatable. Even in 20-25 year long marriages that last, higher value alpha males might take on at least one mistress, usually after the main "high value" woman turns 40 and her looks start to fade. Some older women will tolerate that, some will not.

I sense a truly high value woman is similarly rare to the 35-45 year old male who experiences the bounty of that theoretical peak SMV. At theoretical peak SMV, the typical 35-45 year old male is a pusssy beggar for mediocre to subpar women close to his own age on swipe apps, and sometimes these similarly aged women are single moms.

Some women do elect solitude and owning multiple cats over the dating options she has, typically after age 40.

Rollo Tomassi has made the point that women often confuse personal value with dating market place value. I agree with this. As I observe it, this tends to become a problem for women with bachelor's degrees or higher who are 5+ years post bachelor's degree graduation. The typical onset of this is age 27-28, and some of these 27-28+ women also have advanced degrees. There are plenty of professional women with great career achievements who have difficulty having meaningful and longer lasting relationships. This is because men are not often attracted to a woman's work achievements. Men are attracted to physical appearances and attitudes primarily. It's true there are some blue pilled males that will get excited about dating a dentist, accountant, or lawyer and think it is so awesome that they are dating an achieving, ambitious woman who presents and expresses herself well. This is less common. Looks + attitude are far more important. Additionally, professional women devote a lot of time to their workplaces and not to their romantic relationships, which frustrates prospective men and is a part of how a man evaluates her attitude.

Men would rather have a lower earning woman with more time available for him as compared to a career woman with more income but less available time IF that's the only variable being evaluated. Looks would factor into this as well. The career woman would need to have a substantial looks advantage to retain a man as compared to the lower earning woman.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

There's a chance that @BeExcellent can be correct here. The argument she makes is that truly high value women won't share a man and that they'll be high value enough to get an alpha. That argument makes sense, but the big unknown is longevity.

He must be correct because me and @EyeBRollin have completely different viewpoints. I date women with high status careers, and they don't have time to be out on the street searching for a new drake every week.

 

[SW15]

He must be correct because me and @EyeBRollin have completely different viewpoints. I date women with high status careers, and they don't have time to be out on the street searching for a new drake every week.

No, they don't. Additionally, I have seen examples of Millennial women with good careers who are socially inept. While their social ineptitude would not keep them from getting laid, their social ineptitude could prevent them from getting longer term, committed relationships.

 

[EyeBRollin]

He must be correct because me and @EyeBRollin have completely different viewpoints. I date women with high status careers, and they don't have time to be out on the street searching for a new drake every week.

High status career women are the most delusional broads on the market.