"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Meet up alone, then with friends on first date?

Scought

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I am supposed to hang with a buddy tonight. Then a girl i met this weekend wanted to know what I was doing tonight.

So, not wanting to break my word with my friend I suggested a single then double date. What do you all think?

First, her and I would meet up and grab a drink. Then my buddy would meet up with us later and she would have a friend come along. If the date sucks I am with my friend and can do something else, if its great than I have social proof and my buddy gets hooked up with a girl for himself.

I think it's a win-win situation. Plus, the pressure isn't there as we both know we will have some friends joining us.

Basically, I don't want to cancel plans with my friend, but I want to see her, too. I'm spur-of-the-moment so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone.

Bad idea?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Phyzzle

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No way, not on a 1st date (only the 2nd time you've met her). Way too soon to bring anybody's friends into anything.

Just meet up and grab a drink, then leave. Tell her you already had plans with a friend. Nothing wrong with a 45 minute date.

Your friend just wants to meet women: "free chick!" That is a cool thing to do for him . . . but it's too soon to be asking this girl for favors, like finding a single friend for your buddy, on the 1st date.
 

Scought

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Good points.....but my friend and I will NOT fall over the same girl.

Plus, this is a fun way to see if she is fun. If she likes me, she will like me....if she doesn't, she doesn't.

The wheels have been set in motion.

I will get a drink with this girl first, and then they might come hang out and we head out elsewhere. Either way, its just a fun night out with some new people.
 

Max Power

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Sure have fun.

I wasn't referring to your friend as the ****block, but her friend. Plus what if her friend doesn't like your friend. This just complicates things.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Scought

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Hey Max,

Thanks for the response.

It ended up being just me and her, which, looking back on it, was probably the best thing.

It went great: I actually found a woman that I can see myself really liking. Lately, I have been getting bored and disinterested in the women I have been meeting. But, she is awesome. She loves Football, Basketball, the fall and winter, we like some of the same music, she is smart...it goes on....now the challenge is to not put her on a pedestal--thats easy to do with women that I am ho-hum about, but I need to keep the same approach.
 

bachelor

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I would never do a double date on the first date. You want her to get to KNOW you not your friends... Next time, take her to Starbucks or a casual restaurant and keep things simple. Set up the second date with some friends that are going out for a movie or whatever. If she barely knows you, how do you expect her to get to know your friends right off the bat too?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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bachelor said:
I would never do a double date on the first date. You want her to get to KNOW you not your friends... Next time, take her to Starbucks or a casual restaurant and keep things simple...
:yes: Best thing a guy can do is to first qualify her one on one.
 

KnockoutJM

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Go out with her for a little while, and leave her wanting more. You should wait until you are stable before you introduce friends into it
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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