"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Meet up alone, then with friends on first date?

Scought

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I am supposed to hang with a buddy tonight. Then a girl i met this weekend wanted to know what I was doing tonight.

So, not wanting to break my word with my friend I suggested a single then double date. What do you all think?

First, her and I would meet up and grab a drink. Then my buddy would meet up with us later and she would have a friend come along. If the date sucks I am with my friend and can do something else, if its great than I have social proof and my buddy gets hooked up with a girl for himself.

I think it's a win-win situation. Plus, the pressure isn't there as we both know we will have some friends joining us.

Basically, I don't want to cancel plans with my friend, but I want to see her, too. I'm spur-of-the-moment so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone.

Bad idea?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Phyzzle

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No way, not on a 1st date (only the 2nd time you've met her). Way too soon to bring anybody's friends into anything.

Just meet up and grab a drink, then leave. Tell her you already had plans with a friend. Nothing wrong with a 45 minute date.

Your friend just wants to meet women: "free chick!" That is a cool thing to do for him . . . but it's too soon to be asking this girl for favors, like finding a single friend for your buddy, on the 1st date.
 

Scought

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Good points.....but my friend and I will NOT fall over the same girl.

Plus, this is a fun way to see if she is fun. If she likes me, she will like me....if she doesn't, she doesn't.

The wheels have been set in motion.

I will get a drink with this girl first, and then they might come hang out and we head out elsewhere. Either way, its just a fun night out with some new people.
 

Max Power

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Sure have fun.

I wasn't referring to your friend as the ****block, but her friend. Plus what if her friend doesn't like your friend. This just complicates things.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Scought

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Hey Max,

Thanks for the response.

It ended up being just me and her, which, looking back on it, was probably the best thing.

It went great: I actually found a woman that I can see myself really liking. Lately, I have been getting bored and disinterested in the women I have been meeting. But, she is awesome. She loves Football, Basketball, the fall and winter, we like some of the same music, she is smart...it goes on....now the challenge is to not put her on a pedestal--thats easy to do with women that I am ho-hum about, but I need to keep the same approach.
 

bachelor

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I would never do a double date on the first date. You want her to get to KNOW you not your friends... Next time, take her to Starbucks or a casual restaurant and keep things simple. Set up the second date with some friends that are going out for a movie or whatever. If she barely knows you, how do you expect her to get to know your friends right off the bat too?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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bachelor said:
I would never do a double date on the first date. You want her to get to KNOW you not your friends... Next time, take her to Starbucks or a casual restaurant and keep things simple...
:yes: Best thing a guy can do is to first qualify her one on one.
 

KnockoutJM

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Go out with her for a little while, and leave her wanting more. You should wait until you are stable before you introduce friends into it
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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