"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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May have encountered a BPD

zekko

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A lot of guys here have written about being infatuated with BPD girls, and how they are so passionate, sexy, and desirable - before they screw you over. Now I have known numerous women who had an official diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have never found any of them the least bit desirable - too fvcked in the head for me.

Anyway, here's a story. I was out running errands yesterday and I went into a store. There was a girl in there that I saw - she had the kind of body type I liked and she also had a rather obvious red hair dye job. She was with some dude, probably her boyfriend. She must have noticed me checking her out, because she started showing off for me, kind of prancing and dancing around, moving her body while smiling and looking directly at me.

Now I was in a very good mood yesterday, and I just kind of watched her without expression like looking at the television or a circus animal, and went about my business. When I went up to check out she and her boyfriend had just walked out, and the cashier told me she had stolen something - apparently she noticed it right after she left.

I thought "Wow, what a messed up chick". It occurred to me that maybe she was BPD - She did have a certain raw sexual vibe that sent the message "Yeah, get me out of here and I would do anything". Maybe this was the kind of girl they are always talking about here on the forum. I could see how that might appeal to someone without much experience, or simply someone with different taste. I don't find aggressive women appealing. Besides, I have a girlfriend.

But there was definitely something wrong with that girl. If she wasn't BPD she was bipolar.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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phillies

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A lot of guys here have written about being infatuated with BPD girls, and how they are so passionate, sexy, and desirable - before they screw you over. Now I have known numerous women who had an official diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have never found any of them the least bit desirable - too fvcked in the head for me.

Anyway, here's a story. I was out running errands yesterday and I went into a store. There was a girl in there that I saw - she had the kind of body type I liked and she also had a rather obvious red hair dye job. She was with some dude, probably her boyfriend. She must have noticed me checking her out, because she started showing off for me, kind of prancing and dancing around, moving her body while smiling and looking directly at me.

Now I was in a very good mood yesterday, and I just kind of watched her without expression like looking at the television or a circus animal, and went about my business. When I went up to check out she and her boyfriend had just walked out, and the cashier told me she had stolen something - apparently she noticed it right after she left.

I thought "Wow, what a messed up chick". It occurred to me that maybe she was BPD - She did have a certain raw sexual vibe that sent the message "Yeah, get me out of here and I would do anything". Maybe this was the kind of girl they are always talking about here on the forum. I could see how that might appeal to someone without much experience, or simply someone with different taste. I don't find aggressive women appealing. Besides, I have a girlfriend.

But there was definitely something wrong with that girl. If she wasn't BPD she was bipolar.
Just because she's good looking and had a sexual vibe you think she was a bpd? I think you're jumping to conclusions.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bible_Belt

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We have a long history, but I haven't talked to her in a year, and don't want to.

BPDs are a lot like teenage girls in that when they discover something they like, they LOVE it. It's the most amazing sh!t in the world, whatever it is....until they get bored of it and move on. Hair color is an expression of that trait of BPD.
 

Reykhel

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We have a long history, but I haven't talked to her in a year, and don't want to.

BPDs are a lot like teenage girls in that when they discover something they like, they LOVE it. It's the most amazing sh!t in the world, whatever it is....until they get bored of it and move on. Hair color is an expression of that trait of BPD.
I'll admit that it's not an area that I'm 100% schooled in. I'm sure if I started reading up on it
more a lot of ex's behaviors would make sense. But I'm not sure if I care too much about their actions
making sense....

That being said my main plate right now is a black girl and she likes to color her hair.....
sometimes red...-.......I just take the piss out of her. But your post about hair color made me
raise an eyebrow.....
 

zekko

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Just because she's good looking and had a sexual vibe you think she was a bpd? I think you're jumping to conclusions.
Did you read my post? Aside from her behavior toward me while she was with another guy, she stole something from the store on the way out. Maybe she wasn't BPD, but there was definitely something wrong with her.
 

phillies

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Did you read my post? Aside from her behavior toward me while she was with another guy, she stole something from the store on the way out. Maybe she wasn't BPD, but there was definitely something wrong with her.
Yeah, there is. She's a thief.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Atom Smasher

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Something wrong, definitely.

BPD, not nearly enough evidence. Single or few interactions do not present the possibility of determining BPD. BPD can only be established in an actual relationship, unless you've been bitten. If you carry the scars, you can recognize BPD in a heartbeat. Prior to that, it's almost impossible for a man to recognize it.

For BPD to manifest she must have time enough and personal investment enough for the cycles to take place. It only really manifests fully one-on-one, although as I said once you've had your soul nearly sucked out of you by one of these vampires you obtain an instinct for identifying the traits almost immediately.
 

zekko

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For BPD to manifest she must have time enough and personal investment enough for the cycles to take place. It only really manifests fully one-on-one
I have no idea if the woman was BPD, as the subject line says, I MAY have encountered a BPD. However, the more I think about it, the more I think her actions were more consistent with being bipolar. I have known several close personal friends with bipolar disorder.

Regarding BPD women however, I have known women who were officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and those women were profoundly ill. In those cases, you definitely did not have to wait for one to one relationships for it to manifest, because these women would stir up drama and/or self injure on a fairly regular basis. If guys on this forum have known BPD women, I imagine those cases must not have been as severe as I have known, or they would not have thought they were so sexy and desirable.
 
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