match.com suggestions?

[CoolRunning]

Any suggestions on meeting women via match.com, for the more mature man?

 

[Bonhomme]

27 is very young for match.com. Match.com is best for people who are rather conventional. It's easier (and free of cost) to convey personality via Myspace and places like that if you're a more creative, unconventional individual. Match.com is very uptight about creative approaches. Pick the venue that suits your nature best.

To do well on match.com, have a good pic and a good job with a decent income. Helps to be Christian, and have middle-of-the-road politics (statistically), too. Those are the top things there.

Women online are generally looking for carbon copies of themselves who are looking for ONE woman, make more money than they do and look better than they think they do. As for your profile, keep it brief and witty, without being out-and-out goofy.

 

[drZaius09]

I'll have to respectfully disagree with Bonhomme on this one. I am also 27, and I've been on and off match.com for the last 18 months or so. In that time, I've met about 20-25 different girls, and f-closed more than half of them. My profile is completely unconventional, almost to the point of being counter-productive. But there are girls who are biting on that kind of approach. A few that I've met have been pretty straight-forward about the fact that they're only looking for sex... others have been pretty adamant that they want the opposite. I've even been able to satiate my appetite for older women... I've nailed 3 women from there that were at least ten years older than me.

It is possible to find the type of connection you are looking for on match, whether temporary or long-term. You must have a passable photo, and you can't be afraid to scare some girls off with your personality. Of course, if you lack a personality (i.e., like most guys on match), then you will fail like most guys on match.

 

[Evan_M]

27 isn't too young as that is the age where most people start looking to get married at. However I'll warn you about Match and online dating in general; expect to be ignored. Women get 5x the amount of attention (winks and emails) that men do. This results in you having less chance of getting a reply back. You really have to set yourself apart from the rest and meet all of the criteria that these women have. They are picky and it seems that online dating makes them more so.

Unless you have no other viable options I don't exactly recommend it. Match is really the matriarchy in a nutshell. They even hired Dr. Phil to give out advice.

 

[Bonhomme]

I suppose I don't consider meeting one girl per month that good (I met 3 in the month I went at it with my very unconventional profile, and could have f-closed one, but I wasn't interested), but f-closing half of them is good. In the month or so I had a go at it, I didn't find any who were just looking for some fun. But I was working an older age range. Maybe they look for real good-looking guys. My looks ain't bad, but not knockout great, either. And I ain't 27.

 

[drZaius09]

As I said, I've been on and off for the last year-and-a-half. Sometimes weeks go by when I dont sign on... so I'd say for the time I'm actually active I can meet a new girl every week. I mostly troll for older women on there also-- there's definitely a market of older/usually divorced women in their late 30's who are just looking for fun with a younger guy. I have average looks myself, but if you have good email/im/phone game, you can get them hot for you before you even meet. Closing the deal is just a matter of attitude at that point.

 

[drZaius09]

Also, I dont think I really have to add this because its been said so many times... but expect to send about 10 emails to find one girl who's actually going to respond and meet you.

 

[Bonhomme]

True, DrZ. Most guys send way too few emails. Sometimes the ones who write back aren't the ones you really expect ...

 

[ogre]

I also could use some help with Match. I just signed up and I scould use some tips on writing an effective bio.

also, is it better to wink or to email?

 

[CoolRunning]

I also could use some help with Match. I just signed up and I scould use some tips on writing an effective bio.

also, is it better to wink or to email?

Bear in mind I have just started using match. Here are my suggestions.

1) Never wink. Send them a brief email - no more than 4 lines - in which you make fun of their pics in some way. Liberal use of smilies.

2) Have an awesome profile. I am not going to give specifics, as there are probably lots of ways to have awesome profiles...but go through and read 20 guys' profiles. Guys who look pretty cute in their pics. You will find they are all the same and boring. Make yours different. Make it FUNNY and QUIRKY, but also include serious sections so you don't come off as a total goof.

3) Get the phone number as quickly as possible. Usually I do this.
First email: bust on them, they will reply with busting on you, or ask you questions about your profile.
Second email: make it more serious and longer, but still bust on them a bit. They will reply in depth.
Third email: reply to some of theirs, but not all, say you have to run, but you'd like to continue this conversation on the phone. Ask for their ph# and send yours too.

Good luck

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Search the forum, there's more than enough information about online dating already posted.

 

[Vulpine]

I've been having fun firing off second e-mails to the chicks that do the "ignore" thing versus the "no thanks" thing.

Basically, lead with a little joke, then I call them rude and point out that ignoring people is not socially acceptable behavior, no matter who they think they are. Then I point out that they should use the "no thanks" button or hide their profiles if they can't keep up with the replies. I change it up a bit sometimes, maybe point out how ignoring people reflects on their character and whatnot.

Then kick back and laugh as they quickly reply with qualifications and how they aren't rude, blah blah blah. Most often they will try to attack you and put you down somehow.

At which point, you matter-of-factually point out:
"I find it quite comical that you follow up rudeness with more rudeness." and/or "Yeah, that's the standard response from your kind."

Man, it must fry their little brains!

Then click the "No Thanks" reply button shortly there after to show them how it's done.

But I get bored at work... it's fun kicking pedestals out from under chicks and riling them up, though.

I actually converted one of the situations a long time ago into a date with something like "I'll accept apologies in the form of ice cream." Pretty ridiculous.

 

[ogre]

Hi Francisco

yes I am doing that... I haven't been on this forum for awhile. I was using myspace and I found that it's great for political blogging but it sucks for meeting women. or maybe it's just me. I dunno. I met a chick from myspace about a month ago, we clicked, it was like magic, everything went perfect, and then she just flaked. it's like no matter what I do, I lose. I had another date from myspace with the Chick from Hell. it's a funny story I should post it.

vulpine: of any of the ho's you said "no thanks" to, did any of them write back?

I can try the "it's not polite to ignore thing" - but will that actually get the chicks to come around or does it just serve to feed your ego?

ok, I have this in my profile..... what do you all think:

for fun:
Medieval swordfighting. Chivalry is very much alive. Your Knight in Shining Armor beckons you. Will you answer the call?

my education:

Post-Graduate with Honors from U.H.K. (University of Hard Knocks) And currently working on my dissertation on Life, the Universe, and Everything. Aum...

favorite hot spots:

My place! JK... seriously, though, someplace quiet where you can see stars at night.....


btw I sent out about 150 contacts so far. mostly emails, one or two lines. so far I got only 2 replies (plus a few fakes/scams) I got one wink right away from someone who I was only mildly interested in and we IM'd and then talked on the phone for awhile, but it just fizzled apart after that. she said she was sick with the flu or something. should I wait a week and give her a call?

 

[Sinistar]

for fun:
Medieval swordfighting. Chivalry is very much alive. Your Knight in Shining Armor beckons you. Will you answer the call?

Ugghhh...that line literally states rescuer/savior and will probably nix any shot at a bad boy / mystery angle. Also note the more supplicative non-prize tone.

How about something like:

Avid rock climber has multiple openings for hot babes capable of humping my gear and starting a fire ... unless you're a climber yourself ... then there's the test Applications restricted to healthy, active, intelligent woman only.

(Alright, I've never written a match/myspace profile yet shouldn't it just be a who gives a sh!t, have fun with it thing).

 

[CoolRunning]

Hi Francisco

yes I am doing that... I haven't been on this forum for awhile. I was using myspace and I found that it's great for political blogging but it sucks for meeting women. or maybe it's just me. I dunno. I met a chick from myspace about a month ago, we clicked, it was like magic, everything went perfect, and then she just flaked. it's like no matter what I do, I lose. I had another date from myspace with the Chick from Hell. it's a funny story I should post it.

vulpine: of any of the ho's you said "no thanks" to, did any of them write back?

I can try the "it's not polite to ignore thing" - but will that actually get the chicks to come around or does it just serve to feed your ego?

ok, I have this in my profile..... what do you all think:

for fun:
Medieval swordfighting. Chivalry is very much alive. Your Knight in Shining Armor beckons you. Will you answer the call?

my education:

Post-Graduate with Honors from U.H.K. (University of Hard Knocks) And currently working on my dissertation on Life, the Universe, and Everything. Aum...

favorite hot spots:

My place! JK... seriously, though, someplace quiet where you can see stars at night.....


btw I sent out about 150 contacts so far. mostly emails, one or two lines. so far I got only 2 replies (plus a few fakes/scams) I got one wink right away from someone who I was only mildly interested in and we IM'd and then talked on the phone for awhile, but it just fizzled apart after that. she said she was sick with the flu or something. should I wait a week and give her a call?

150 contacts with 2 replies?? What email are you sending out?

BTW, I have found that you should take it from the phone to a meeting ASAP.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

150 contacts with 2 replies?? What email are you sending out?

BTW, I have found that you should take it from the phone to a meeting ASAP.

Mass mailings of emails seldom work, most guys do it so a woman could easily get 20 or more emails a day. Ones that are longer (but not too long) and is specific to her profile have a better chance of getting replies. Also, getting a phone number can be a unnecessary step. You can get a date from just a couple of well written emails.

BTW, welcome back Ogre. Glad to see that you're hanging in there.

 

[ogre]

150 contacts with 2 replies?? What email are you sending out?

I dunno. the same sorta stuff that I would say if I saw her in person. and I don't have any problem approaching and opening to a woman in person, so I don't see what the problem is.

it must be something in my profile.

btw I really do medieval swordfighting and I have the pics on the profile to prove it. but I see your point about supplicative non-prize tone. but what's wrong with being a rescuer/savior? I thought that is a good thing?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...btw I really do medieval swordfighting and I have the pics on the profile to prove it. but I see your point about supplicative non-prize tone. but what's wrong with being a rescuer/savior? I thought that is a good thing?

Nothing wrong with medieval swordplay, I do it a couple of times a year at different Renaissance festivals. Cool stuff.

The only thing to be concerned about by being a rescuer/savior is that you will attract women who are looking for someone to save them. This could mean women with steamer trunks full of baggage. If you're alright with that, then keep at it. Basically, market yourself to the type of women you'd like to attract.

 

[ogre]

ok, I changed my profile again. it was altogether too heavy and had some angry tone to it.

here is the new version (in part)
............................

I suck at playing head games and therefore I don't. Please don't play them on me as it'll just give me an anxiety attack. I am open, honest, and I come with instructions. In spite of my varied and unconventional lifestyle I am quite old-fashioned when it comes to relationships and easy to please. Just give me a good massage after a day's battle and make me some fresh squeezed orange juice in the morning and I'm quite happy.
. ......... ..........
....

 

[Latinoman]

I am very critical of “on-line” dating. You all know that. And my criticality is based to research on the issue (over one year research on the issue). In fact, I have strongly advice women from meeting men from the internet for the purpose of seeking a relationship. I won’t go into the reasons in this thread. But some of the reasons I give are that MOST men there are LOSERS. And with LOSERS I mean one of the following

1- Trying to "play" the women
2- Are socially inept
3- Have problems with women
4- A combination of the above

However, I’m open-minded. And although, I would continue to preach against on-line dating, I will be the first one to admit that there exceptions to the rule. An example is Francisco d’Anconia, which I personally consider an exception to the rule in the sense that he does it for convenience and understanding what he is getting into while at the same time he still does the real life stuff.

I still continue to preach against on-line dating. Certainly against meeting women through MySpace or Match.com or any other place like that. Especially in a website like this in which most of the men are trying to learn how to be DJs. You don’t learn how to be a DJ by going in the internet. You learn by dealing with it face-on as in real life.

However, I believe that if you are in a Forum designed for some kind of hobby and it happens that you met a woman there, then I can see that as an alright approach. After all, you were not there looking for women and she was not there looking for men. It is not different as you being from Miami, Florida and member of a National Hiking Club and meeting a woman from Tampa, Florida and the same Hiking Club while posting in the club’s message board.

Now, one of my very good friends have gone in dates with several women. He uses Eharmony (or something like that). The one that had the commercial with that stupid song and several men acting AFC. I will be honest with you, that service is a good way to meet some “decent” and “career oriented” women. Why? Because

1-A “Dr.” founded and recommends the service
2-Because there some “scientific” method used to pair people (I say a B.S. method, but still)

That gives those women a false-sense of confidence. And the chances of actually going on a date with a man are higher.

I talked to my friend and told him that (of course, I never discourage him or any other male in my real life from doing that – In fact, I don’t give advice unless advice is asked). I used the term “spin plates” and he laugh as he understood the term (dude, are you reading this Forum??!!! – LOL). The good thing about my friend is that he never had issues going into relationships in Real Life. And he is professionally established. Furthermore, he takes his health/fitness very serious. Another thing, he had two dates lined-up and cancelled both, because he had some work he needed to catch on during the weekend and didn’t want to feel rush later in the week (the man has his priority straight!).

He jokingly tells me, “Latinoman, I’m going to get you into the groove of things.” I laughed and told him that I’m currently in a committed relationship. But if she dumps me (or if I do something to get her to dump me – wink), then I will certainly consider doing it as a method to have some plate spinning on the side, while doing my real life thing.

But here is the thing…must avoid spending TOO MUCH time Cyber. And that’s the mistake MANY men make. They go from being men into becoming something inanimated.