"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Master DJs - give Advice on Friendship zone

escobar04

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hello, my name is Esco and I'm a newbie

I found this site last week and read the Bible, especially Pook's Be a Man and it has changed my life

now the reason I came on here in the first place is because of this one Jessica

here's the interesting and intriging situatuion

-she was in my graduating class at High School and had a boyfriend, but we only knew each other a little bit, however, she seemed to be on to me for the last coupla months

Then we graduate and she goes off to US Santa Cruz, then I get her Phone # through a mutual friend and give her ( a really good girl) a call

now this was mid-January and she was single due to her BF dumping her a month prior and we go out to Denny's really late at night

first we catch up on things and this and that, later we make out and cuddle

from then on she'd come back like every other weekend from UC and we'd go out and blah, blah blah

I really like her and she really likes me (that's what she told me anyways) so I'm super happy

then, in the beggining of April I ask her about a relationship and she says that the time isn't right and she doesn't want to deal with a long distance realtionship

I say ok and that I understand, then she comes back we kiss and cuddle and everything's straight, until I turn all clingy and wussy and tell her that I need her to make up her mind, we have a long talk and then don't talk for like 3 days, then she ignores like 3 of my phone calls, by then I break myself down and this and that.

then she calls me and tells me that we can only be friends FOREVER and I'm not right for her all of a sudden

Of course I'm devastated but I play it off as cool and then tell her that we'll talk later and I have to finish up my essay

for the next 2 days I can't eat or sleep (she was so special) and then I can't stop thinking about her

her best friend goes to the gym with me and I asked her for advice (we go waaay back) and she tells me that they talked and my special girl thinks that everything's fine between us

so now I'm in a friendship zone and it's been over two weeks since she called me and told me all this stuff.

not only that but now I have to make a transition from being something way more than just friends to being just friends. wtf??

between that I've had 2 dates and my life has been going great as I feel a maturity and the little DJ in me but I can't stop thinking about her

What should I do??

Call her??

wait for a call from her???? Just give it time?

Or is it really over?

Help a former AFC and a newbie!!!!!!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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belividere

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your in the same boat as a good chunk of people on here. Do a search and also check the archives section of the forum. Most of the best advice has been written already.
 

eoin2000

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'Former' AFC?

Get over it. Its over. Dont call her. She will call you, eventually, and you will be with someone else. You placed WAY too much value on this girl, you were needy, clingy AND wussy. You deserved what you got.

I hope you have learned your lesson, though, and the pain will pass. I wish you better luck in your future interactions, but for christs sake, TOUGHEN UP!
 

escobar04

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I'm trying

..and thanks to sosuave.net my life took a turnaround as of last Saturday after I read Pook's Be a Man

things are waay different with me now

I feel great

I had 2 dates in 2 weeks ( wasn't feeling them) and have this one other girl in class

...but the thought of the first one just won't leave me

Should I go and be friends with her or just completely forget about it?
 

JackPrescott

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Once she called and said "Friends forever" that eliminated you from the pull down panties club.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Qualtran

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Dont worry about what is going to happen with her because at this point assume that nothing ever will again. You need to move on, and the only hope you have at her wanting you again is if she sees that you are moving on and starts realizing she is going to lose you forever unless she makes a move. It doesnt sound likeley she will make that move, especially not soon, so get on with your life and continue to date other girls.

When it come to being "friends," you will just keep yourself stuck on her if you agree to hang out with her as a "friend" any time soon. Even if she calls and asks you to do something, be too busy and act like you've got all kinds of other stuff going on. Be friendly and kind, but just be too busy for her. Actually keep yourself too busy to see her even if you want to!
 

escobar04

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major props for the feedback but I'm still a bit confused

should I forget about her as I've been doing, or use the six steps to recovery

after all, she's been very right and special

I still have a text she send me saying ho much she loves me and stuff

then six days later it's over

but thank for everything, I feel better and better by day

and I'm going to have lunch with an 8 from my Speech class next week

I just came up to her and straight told her that I'm going to lunch with her next week between classes

she happily accepted

...another funny thing is that ever since my special girl broke it off with me, which was 2 1/2 weeks ago, I had 2 dates and now this chick in class

that's three girls in 2 weeks

sosuave.com, I love you!
 
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