"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Master DJs - give Advice on Friendship zone

escobar04

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
235
Reaction score
4
Age
39
Location
Sac
hello, my name is Esco and I'm a newbie

I found this site last week and read the Bible, especially Pook's Be a Man and it has changed my life

now the reason I came on here in the first place is because of this one Jessica

here's the interesting and intriging situatuion

-she was in my graduating class at High School and had a boyfriend, but we only knew each other a little bit, however, she seemed to be on to me for the last coupla months

Then we graduate and she goes off to US Santa Cruz, then I get her Phone # through a mutual friend and give her ( a really good girl) a call

now this was mid-January and she was single due to her BF dumping her a month prior and we go out to Denny's really late at night

first we catch up on things and this and that, later we make out and cuddle

from then on she'd come back like every other weekend from UC and we'd go out and blah, blah blah

I really like her and she really likes me (that's what she told me anyways) so I'm super happy

then, in the beggining of April I ask her about a relationship and she says that the time isn't right and she doesn't want to deal with a long distance realtionship

I say ok and that I understand, then she comes back we kiss and cuddle and everything's straight, until I turn all clingy and wussy and tell her that I need her to make up her mind, we have a long talk and then don't talk for like 3 days, then she ignores like 3 of my phone calls, by then I break myself down and this and that.

then she calls me and tells me that we can only be friends FOREVER and I'm not right for her all of a sudden

Of course I'm devastated but I play it off as cool and then tell her that we'll talk later and I have to finish up my essay

for the next 2 days I can't eat or sleep (she was so special) and then I can't stop thinking about her

her best friend goes to the gym with me and I asked her for advice (we go waaay back) and she tells me that they talked and my special girl thinks that everything's fine between us

so now I'm in a friendship zone and it's been over two weeks since she called me and told me all this stuff.

not only that but now I have to make a transition from being something way more than just friends to being just friends. wtf??

between that I've had 2 dates and my life has been going great as I feel a maturity and the little DJ in me but I can't stop thinking about her

What should I do??

Call her??

wait for a call from her???? Just give it time?

Or is it really over?

Help a former AFC and a newbie!!!!!!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

belividere

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
956
Reaction score
5
Age
47
your in the same boat as a good chunk of people on here. Do a search and also check the archives section of the forum. Most of the best advice has been written already.
 

eoin2000

Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2005
Messages
50
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
Ireland
'Former' AFC?

Get over it. Its over. Dont call her. She will call you, eventually, and you will be with someone else. You placed WAY too much value on this girl, you were needy, clingy AND wussy. You deserved what you got.

I hope you have learned your lesson, though, and the pain will pass. I wish you better luck in your future interactions, but for christs sake, TOUGHEN UP!
 

escobar04

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
235
Reaction score
4
Age
39
Location
Sac
I'm trying

..and thanks to sosuave.net my life took a turnaround as of last Saturday after I read Pook's Be a Man

things are waay different with me now

I feel great

I had 2 dates in 2 weeks ( wasn't feeling them) and have this one other girl in class

...but the thought of the first one just won't leave me

Should I go and be friends with her or just completely forget about it?
 

JackPrescott

Banned
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
860
Reaction score
7
Once she called and said "Friends forever" that eliminated you from the pull down panties club.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Qualtran

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2002
Messages
169
Reaction score
0
Dont worry about what is going to happen with her because at this point assume that nothing ever will again. You need to move on, and the only hope you have at her wanting you again is if she sees that you are moving on and starts realizing she is going to lose you forever unless she makes a move. It doesnt sound likeley she will make that move, especially not soon, so get on with your life and continue to date other girls.

When it come to being "friends," you will just keep yourself stuck on her if you agree to hang out with her as a "friend" any time soon. Even if she calls and asks you to do something, be too busy and act like you've got all kinds of other stuff going on. Be friendly and kind, but just be too busy for her. Actually keep yourself too busy to see her even if you want to!
 

escobar04

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
235
Reaction score
4
Age
39
Location
Sac
major props for the feedback but I'm still a bit confused

should I forget about her as I've been doing, or use the six steps to recovery

after all, she's been very right and special

I still have a text she send me saying ho much she loves me and stuff

then six days later it's over

but thank for everything, I feel better and better by day

and I'm going to have lunch with an 8 from my Speech class next week

I just came up to her and straight told her that I'm going to lunch with her next week between classes

she happily accepted

...another funny thing is that ever since my special girl broke it off with me, which was 2 1/2 weeks ago, I had 2 dates and now this chick in class

that's three girls in 2 weeks

sosuave.com, I love you!
 
Top