"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Marry, Hump, or Dump: Nicole vs. Paris vs. Brittney

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
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Nicole Richie is in the news for having been arrested on DUI for driving the wrong way on a state highway while high on drugs. Which reminded me of ex-buddy Paris Hilton's similar hijinks with a late-night "craving for a hamburger". Which reminded me of the classic game Marry, Hump, or Dump. To wit, I'll throw in the lost Brittney Spears to round out the three contestants.

The game is self-explanatory. If you were forced by the will of god, who would you marry, hump, and what poor soul would you want nothing to do with?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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