Married Woman at Work Dangling the Carrot Infront of Me

[jophil28]

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I know how to be faithful, and I understand the VALUE of that faithfulness.

Are my posts unclear, or something?



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NO your posts are very clear - your ethics and your consistency are what I and a few others are questioning here. .
YOu want to believe that you can have sex with a married woman without repercussions or accountability. What you really are trying to pull off is an 'open border' policy with regard to who you have sex with in the deluded belief that SHE is the only wrongdoer and you are only doing "what comes naturally." STR8uP tried to sell this scam in his posts too. It ain't gonna fly.
IF you expect fidelity in YOUR relationship you cannot participate in sex with another man's wife. You cannot pick and choose HOW you practise fidelity like this. You seem to want fidelity to begin and end within your LTR or YOUR future marriage at your front door. .
A very convenient policy don't you think?

Sexing married women does not make you a DJ- it make you a sexual scavenger - a bottom feeder .

Anyways - do whatever you want but do not be surprised if your 'anything goes' policy comes around to bite your a$$ one day.

Jophil out.

 

[STR8UP]

My biggest thing with this whole subject is the fact that when you have sex with or even simply share intimacy with a woman, even if she isn't married, very often another man is getting hurt.

I don't know about the rest of you, but in the majority of my relationships I either strongly suspected (that means I knew but I couldn't prove it) or had direct knowledge that BEFORE my relationship ended, "my" girl was sharing some form of intimacy with another man.

You can say "Not all women are branch swinging monkeys", but I would venture to say that MOST of them are, and the vast majority HAVE BEEN in a position where they transitioned relationships with some form of overlap involved more than once in their lives.

So if we apply your "rules of engagement" to include ANY woman who has some kind of ties with another man who might potentially be hurt, you will see that more often than not, when you are intimate with a woman, you are stepping on another man's "territory", so to speak.

And for those of you who draw the line at marriage....why? Because someone signed a contract that most people break?

I don't believe in marriage in the sense that most others do, so I don't hold it to any greater standard than I would ANY kind of serious relationship.

 

[aliasguy]

Jophil wrote----

"IF you expect fidelity in YOUR relationship you cannot participate in sex with another man's wife. You cannot pick and choose HOW you practise fidelity like this. You seem to want fidelity to begin and end within your LTR or YOUR future marriage at your front door. .
A very convenient policy don't you think?"



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I CAN indeed "pick and choose." So can anyone else. I want what I want. So does any woman I'm with. All I've said is that I will honor all my promises to any woman to whom I make such promises. And I expect her to honor any promises she makes to me.


"Other people" can do as they wish. If they want to break promises, who am I to judge them?

Why do you say that I "cannot participate in sex" with a given woman if she and I wish to?

Are you saying that SHE cannot, or I cannot?


The expectations that I have in any given relationship that I am in have little or nothing to do with a relationship some OTHER woman is in.


Jophil, I know you don't like what I am saying, and I understand that. And I accept that you obviously find my views offensive. And I do not think you are "wrong" for that. But, just LOGICALLY, you can't deny that I'm on solid rhetorical ground, here. That doesn't make me "right," but you're close to sounding dogmatic, here.

That said, your take on this is yours, and is a valid way of seeing things. It's a moral or ethical disagreement we have, here. And that's ok. I respect your view, I just don't share it.


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[Last Man Standing]

Are you saying that SHE cannot, or I cannot?

Simplied answered - the responsibility of an action or actions lie with those who understand!!! You both cannot! Do you understand? Or do you plead insanity???

 

[seth]

Joekker, where are you?...

 

[jophil28]

So if we apply your "rules of engagement" to include ANY woman who has some kind of ties with another man who might potentially be hurt, you will see that more often than not, when you are intimate with a woman, you are stepping on another man's "territory", so to speak.

And for those of you who draw the line at marriage....why? Because someone signed a contract that most people break?

I don't believe in marriage in the sense that most others do, so I don't hold it to any greater standard than I would ANY kind of serious relationship.

This thread was about the wisdom of sexing "MARRIED " women , not ANY woman who has ANY other kind of connection with a man - you are squishing out the terms of reference to suit YOUR argument.

You may not " hold marriage to any greater standard ..." but I guarantee her husband does.

 

[jonwon]

I dont think guys on here should justify there moral actions and cater some some righteous sense of etiquette.

The fact of the matter: alot of you guys are clearly operating on the bases of fear, including you joephil, you cant control what your women does, you can in a way help her make certain decisions but if she is going to cheat, THIS IS NOT THE MANS FAULT, this is the fault of the guy who is trying to change the world to his moral code of conduct.

Well i have news for guys like you: Most guys out there wont give a flying fuc* for your moral code of justice, so even if you managed to convert some-one to what you think is the correct path, there will be about 100 other guys will put the middle finger up-to you and tell you to **** off, this is reality!

So the point i am trying to make. YOU CANT CHANGE THE WORLD, you can only change how you think about it and interact with it.

Me:

If i get married again<< see again because i have walked this path.

I would choose a women where this situation is a no brainer, i would choose a women with SOLIDARITY<< and if i do make a mistake and i find she cheated< I would probably go up to the guy and shake his hand and say 'hey thanks you did me a favour, i now know the women i was with WAS NOT WORTH MY TIME'.

Then i would reflect on my actions and think why did i pick the women i was with, hence it is ALWAYS MY PROBLEM.


Where as you 'fear' guys will just wollow in your shell claiming 'the guys was a wanke* why, why are MEN THIS BAD'?

STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR WOMEN.

This thread makes me sick just how men police each other.

The women is clearly not worth anything then being passed around to any pritty boy she likes, she is not marriage material, hence feeling guilty because some guys made a bad call is not his problem.

I would prefer a women who would say 'NO' to any TEMPTATION, in that stop blaming the guy and don’t dare think your moral code of right and wrong means fuc* all in the shape of things, because the PROBLEM IS YOURS when all is said and done.

This is why you have to maintain SELF RESPECT and choose a women who suits your values so you DONT HAVE TO CHANGE THE WORLD to stop MEN from fuc*ing her, the whole logical concept is fuc*ed up, blaming men is a common mistake men do to show women are not accountable for there actions.

A true DJ if you want to use that term, would not see that the women is a FB where some none DJ treated her has a mother or wife<<<< you really want your wife kissing your child on the cheek after sucking some one else coc*, THIS IS NOT THE MANS PROBLEM who *FUC*ED her this is the WOMEN WHO ALLOWED IT<<< UNDERSTAND!!!

The concept of the women being gutter trash, is also a product of you moral rightous guys, men like me dont want to marry her, men like me will fuc* her and wipe out coc*s on the curtains and let the smuck who married her worry about her being gutter trash or not.

I enjoy sex with attractive women, if a married women gives me the buying signals and clearly shows she wants to bounce on my coc*, trust me i wont be saying no and you know what I WONT EVEN GIVE A FUC* ABOUT THE HUSBAND OR THE BF back home, since I am not the one in a relationship<< do you understand?

No you want men like me to conform, well here is news for you buddie> most men dont give a fuc* what you want, so eventually the cheating partner will get it anyway, so GL in converting the world to not fuc* your cheating wife/partner.

If i make you sick, that tells me your operating on the bases of 'fear'! 'fear' that the princess you have will 'fuc*' some other guy, I see that has i would RATHER BE SINGLE, where as most of you moral guys, see it has control! If you have to feel you need to change how men are, due to a moral code of thinking women's shi* does not stink, i would suggest you have a good look at your relationship.

How to give a women a free ticket to sleep around:
Blame men.

Marriage has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
Marriage is just a band aid so you moral guys can justify your need to 'CONTROL'.

GF/Wife/Mother e.t.c at the end of the day you choose her to be a keeper, dont confuse Marriage has an excuse to REWARD BAD BEHAVIOUR.

I walk around with my EYES OPEN in alot of cases and if you think married women dont fuc* around and its the mens fault always, i pitty you i really do, things i have seen would make you moral guys skin crawl, not actions i have done but how some married women will operate whilst the nice guy chump sits at home thinking all is fine and when he realizes his women is suc8ing coc*s left right and center the SMUCK always BLAMES THE GUY, so stuck in there own self importance they cant see that his women did 50% or more of the chasing and ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN.

stop making excuses for women who will fuc* other men behind your back, married or NOT!

 

[vorbis]

jonwon, jophil isnot making excuses for women who cheat. He's quite rightly pointing out that the guy she cheats with (if he knows) has some blame as well. I too dislike the "if I didn't **** her, someone else would have" mentality.

If thats your belief then you have no right to expect your future wife not to cheat imo. Even not being able to turn down a married woman suggests someone who is a little desperate for sex and who feels he won't get some action with unmarried chicks.

 

[jophil28]

Sexing married women does not make you a DJ- it make you a sexual scavenger - a bottom feeder .

Hey Jonwon -
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You seem to be very confused about my posts and what I am saying about why men should avoid married women. You endlessly misquoted my opinions and my position on this issue .You pushed words, phrases and meaning into my post that i did not write ,so to accomodate your limited ability to grasp more obscure arguments I offer the above quote.

Perhaps Google will help you with "bottom feeder" if that term is not in common use in the UK (or wherever you hang out)

 

[jonwon]

jonwon, jophil isnot making excuses for women who cheat. He's quite rightly pointing out that the guy she cheats with (if he knows) has some blame as well. I too dislike the "if I didn't **** her, someone else would have" mentality.

If thats your belief then you have no right to expect your future wife not to cheat imo. Even not being able to turn down a married woman suggests someone who is a little desperate for sex and who feels he won't get some action with unmarried chicks.

Here we go, the moral conduct of if you dont do this, this will happen.

what next?
If i dont pray to god, i will spend my life in hell?

get real.

The fact i understand the true concept of what is happening seperates me from guys with your attitude, so in that the one who is more set to meet a women who cheats is in fact, guys like you.

I know what women are capable of, guys like you blame guys like me for 'taking advantage', you keep burying your head in the sand and think other men give a shi* about your moral code of conduct.

If they dont you can always threaten them with 'fear'!

Dont wash with me bud! i have stated again and again i have no 'fear' of being single and i dont expect men to conform to my way of thinking, unlike you and your preaching.

You keep trying to change the world.

me i will look for a women where this wont even be an issue and if it is and your 'controlling' the world to stop touching your 'possession' sorry, but i think your missing the point that the 'possession' is clearly wanting to be handled by more then just 'you'.

The reason i know so much of this is because i have been there, do i blame women that have cheated on me in the past?

Yes i used to then I GREW UP, and i realized the problem was mine and mine alone and you know what?

I used to spout the same dribble that you guys do, never understanding the 'truth', your moral ideals are wasted, pointless, futile and the sooner you accept that, the faster you may come to the conclusion that when you choose a GF or Wife she has a sense of solidarity.

Hence you missed my point, if you feel you have to control the world, i think you need to take a good long hard look at your supposed great relationship, i would bet it is not has great as you think, or your lying to yourself.

Your wasting my time and tbh no offence you are coming from a place i passed a hell of along time ago, i don’t come here to regress my understanding i come here to improve and expand and sadly, this stuff is child’s play.

Your moral code of conduct means nothing in this situation, your still coming from the product of manipulation and fear.

guys like you fear guys like me, you think where predators out to fuc* anything that walks, not true, if this was a mate's or brother GF i would be the first to call her out on her shi*. but some guy i don’t know anything about whilst she is coming onto me, you think i will pass it up? And you still are willing to blame the guy, i am lost for how i can even comprehend the mental thinking behind all this apart from 'fear and control'. This issue should not even enter the equation of marriage, the fact it has makes it the foundation of the married person.

This thread is a waste of my time, tbh about it, arguing moral implications of fuc*ing a married mans cheating wife and blaming the men is not something i care to waste my time on any-more, you married men who hate guys like me need to look at your fuc8ing GF or wife, we are not to blame! Do you UNDERSTAND<<<< no you probably never will, i pity you!

What you going to do, keep the hate projected at the man, eventually you will have to go to the 'source' if you LIKE IT OR NOT!

 

[STR8UP]

This thread was about the wisdom of sexing "MARRIED " women , not ANY woman who has ANY other kind of connection with a man - you are squishing out the terms of reference to suit YOUR argument.

My argument is that marriage is no different than any other committed relationship. And even when there is no commitment there can potentially be a man who sees your actions as hostile toward something that is "his".

You may not " hold marriage to any greater standard ..." but I guarantee her husband does.

That's another discussion unto itself, but if you ask me, people who still hold the belief that marriage is a sacred entity might as well believe in pixies and unicorns as well.

 

[jonwon]

Hey Jonwon -
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You seem to be very confused about my posts and what I am saying about why men should avoid married women. You endlessly misquoted my opinions and my position on this issue .You pushed words, phrases and meaning into my post that i did not write ,so to accomodate your limited ability to grasp more obscure arguments I offer the above quote.

Perhaps Google will help you with "bottom feeder" if that term is not in common use in the UK (or wherever you hang out)

I know what bottom feeder is and your post stinks of a guy who needs to control the world including his women and who she interacts with.

Your living in fantasy land my friend.

Keep going with your moral crusade maybe just maybe you can convert the world to not fuc* cheating women.

Lol.

I guess you can always use google insults to make your point if all else fails, good luck with it, i think you need it.

 

[STR8UP]

Well i have news for guys like you: Most guys out there wont give a flying fuc* for your moral code of justice, so even if you managed to convert some-one to what you think is the correct path, there will be about 100 other guys will put the middle finger up-to you and tell you to **** off, this is reality!

anyone who has been in business or on the higher end of money transactions (being a landlord for example as opposed to a tenant, a business owner as opposed to an employee) will be able to tell you that very VERY few people have any kind of regard for others when it comes to money.

Personally, I treat everyone in business as fairly as possible.

In relationships....different story. Do I give a rats ass about hurting someone's feeling if I stick my c0ck in "their" (notice how I use quotation marks) girl? Not for a second. A dude that's gonna cry over another cheating b!tch is a pathetic excuse for a man. I know, I was that guy the majority of my life.

This is just another one of those things that as a man you have to bring yourself ABOVE and realize that at the end of the day you don't own anyone and the rest of the world is going to continue turning regardless of what a woman does to you.

So the point i am trying to make. YOU CANT CHANGE THE WORLD, you can only change how you think about it and interact with it.

Then i would reflect on my actions and think why did i pick the women i was with, hence it is ALWAYS MY PROBLEM.

That's the problem these days. People always blaming others for their problems. You can't always spot a "quality" woman up front, but you always need to own up to your decisions.

The women is clearly not worth anything then being passed around to any pritty boy she likes, she is not marriage material, hence feeling guilty because some guys made a bad call is not his problem.

That's why I say some dude that was able to seduce my wife would be doing me a favor. The sooner the better. Why would i want to find out that my wife cannot stand by her promises ten years into a marriage? I want to find out the day after I marry her!

I enjoy sex with attractive women, if a married women gives me the buying signals and clearly shows she wants to bounce on my coc*, trust me i wont be saying no and you know what I WONT EVEN GIVE A FUC* ABOUT THE HUSBAND OR THE BF back home, since I am not the one in a relationship<< do you understand?

Yea, I'm not buying this "If you have to fukk a married woman you must be a loser with women" crap. I don't HAVE to do anything. I CHOOSE to do it.

If i make you sick, that tells me your operating on the bases of 'fear'! 'fear' that the princess you have will 'fuc*' some other guy, I see that has i would RATHER BE SINGLE, where as most of you moral guys, see it has control! If you have to feel you need to change how men are, due to a moral code of thinking women's shi* does not stink, i would suggest you have a good look at your relationship

I was going to mention something about fear.

You fear your woman might stray, and you fear that if you are the guy who helps her stray there will be severe negative repercussions.

What are the chances some dude is going to come at you with a 9mm? Yea, it's possible, but unlikely.

I get the feeling that some of the guys on the opposing side of this argument would be the guys flying off the handle at the other guy, pissed at the woman but at the same time giving her the victim excuse card.

How to give a women a free ticket to sleep around:
Blame men.

So true.

Poor little defenseless creature my ass.

I would bet that more often than not it's the wifey doing the seducing, as was the case when I had one driving 1000 miles to get stuffed with my c0ck.

I walk around with my EYES OPEN in alot of cases and if you think married women dont fuc* around and its the mens fault always, i pitty you i really do, things i have seen would make you moral guys skin crawl, not actions i have done but how some married women will operate whilst the nice guy chump sits at home thinking all is fine and when he realizes his women is suc8ing coc*s left right and center the SMUCK always BLAMES THE GUY, so stuck in there own self importance they cant see that his women did 50% or more of the chasing and ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN.

I have made several threads about how quick women are to hold hands with another guy, make out with him, sleep with him, etc. when they are in a relationship.

People are quick to label these women as "low quality", but my eyes have been opened to the side of the world people don't see or they choose not to acknowledge, and it's not just the "slvts" the "wh0res", it's some of the women you might consider to be "good girls" who are different people when the husband isn't around.

 

[jonwon]

anyone who has been in business or on the higher end of money transactions (being a landlord for example as opposed to a tenant, a business owner as opposed to an employee) will be able to tell you that very VERY few people have any kind of regard for others when it comes to money.

Personally, I treat everyone in business as fairly as possible.

In relationships....different story. Do I give a rats ass about hurting someone's feeling if I stick my c0ck in "their" (notice how I use quotation marks) girl? Not for a second. A dude that's gonna cry over another cheating b!tch is a pathetic excuse for a man. I know, I was that guy the majority of my life.

This is just another one of those things that as a man you have to bring yourself ABOVE and realize that at the end of the day you don't own anyone and the rest of the world is going to continue turning regardless of what a woman does to you.



That's the problem these days. People always blaming others for their problems. You can't always spot a "quality" woman up front, but you always need to own up to your decisions.



That's why I say some dude that was able to seduce my wife would be doing me a favor. The sooner the better. Why would i want to find out that my wife cannot stand by her promises ten years into a marriage? I want to find out the day after I marry her!



Yea, I'm not buying this "If you have to fukk a married woman you must be a loser with women" crap. I don't HAVE to do anything. I CHOOSE to do it.



I was going to mention something about fear.

You fear your woman might stray, and you fear that if you are the guy who helps her stray there will be severe negative repercussions.

What are the chances some dude is going to come at you with a 9mm? Yea, it's possible, but unlikely.

I get the feeling that some of the guys on the opposing side of this argument would be the guys flying off the handle at the other guy, pissed at the woman but at the same time giving her the victim excuse card.



So true.

Poor little defenseless creature my ass.

I would bet that more often than not it's the wifey doing the seducing, as was the case when I had one driving 1000 miles to get stuffed with my c0ck.




I have made several threads about how quick women are to hold hands with another guy, make out with him, sleep with him, etc. when they are in a relationship.

People are quick to label these women as "low quality", but my eyes have been opened to the side of the world people don't see or they choose not to acknowledge, and it's not just the "slvts" the "wh0res", it's some of the women you might consider to be "good girls" who are different people when the husband isn't around.

STR8UP, i am glad you can relate you have always been one of the guys with his eyes wide open and take accountabilty of your actions.

Shame the moral rightous guys dont see the truth that men like you and me used to be guys like them>

I have treaded the morally rightous path (translation: selfish fear projection), it is a futile waste of effort.

 

[bigjohnson]

That's another discussion unto itself, but if you ask me, people who still hold the belief that marriage is a sacred entity might as well believe in pixies and unicorns as well.

I'd be more concerned with the potential actions of an unhinged person than any fluffy moral issue(s). The issues that might arise in my work and private life as a result of this would tend to make me very unwilling to take the chance when there are so many other low-likelihood of issue options available.

 

[joekerr31]

im actually with jophil on this.

hey this isn't complicated. some people believe that its your god given right to stick your d*ck in whatever you want. and, it is. if a woman is letting you do so, then you aren't breaking the laws of nature by doing so.

but no one here can tell me that banging some other guys woman increases their own sense of self worth and respect. a real DJ, a man spinning plates, a man with options, would not have the uncontrollable urge to bang a married woman - he would not NEED the p*ssy that badly.

furthermore, it is not possible to commit an act that you would NOT want committed against you and to not think less of yourself for it.

and no offense str8up and jonwon, but one day you may find a woman that you decide to marry and have kids with. and ten years may go by and then one day you come home and find Pablo the pool boy banging your wife up the *ss.

for all the 'hey good for Pablo, he showed me my wife is a wh*re" kind of talk, you would be crushed. after 10 years of building a life with someone, i don't care of tough you are, that is going to devestate you.

and i dont think a man can f*ck a married woman and still respect himself in the morning, not if he was a man with any self respect to begin with.

these rationalizations of 'hey I don't owe anyone anything' attitudes are false bravado. Coping strategies utilized in the dating battlefield to survive all the crap you have to deal with.

and they are bullsh*t. because:

1) if some dude banged their wife, i don't care what they say here, they would consider it wrong. they would consider their wife to be in the wrong AS WELL AS the guy who banged her. their attitude would not be 'oh, hey pablo. if you don't mind could you take your penis out of my wife and leave. I really appreciate you doing this though, at least now i know who she is as a person."

you guys are smoking crack if you think you'd react that way.

2) if you were getting p*ssy at will, you would not want to be a party to something like a cheating wife. sure, the world is dog eat dog, but that's no excuse to f*ck other people over - and you are participating in the wife f*cking her husband over.


Anyway, i do see the perspective that if some woman wants to f8ck you, well its your right to f*ck her if you want whether she's single, married or the queen of England.

but IF you are trying to live life in such a way so that you hold yourself in high regard, i do not believe you can f*ck a married woman and not be aware that what you are doing is wrong and its not something you would want someone to do to you.

you should feel sorry for the guy who got suckered by the two timing b*tch, not be looking to take advantage of the situation to get your rocks off.

but, im also aware that many men will never ever think this way and their rule of thumb is 'if it lets you, f*ck it."

i also think that the whole f*cking a married woman is exciting to a lot of guys. its almost like having sex in a public place or something. the very fact that its wrong and that others would disapprove heightens the pleasure.

now guys who are hard and not getting laid often and then some super hot married chic offers to lay them, well i'm a little more understanding since they may simple succumb to lust.

but dudes who are already getting laid, its just sad that they then have to go bang a married woman as well.

anyway, just my 2 cents.

 

[joekerr31]

oh and one last thing.

ultimately its not even about whether you are screwing over the husband by banging his wife. because you are correct, if its not you it will be someone else.

it should be about why you are OK with being THAT guy though.

you don't want to be that guy in life. i dont care how much life has screwed you over, you don't want to be one of these guys that has no moral compass.

if you do become one of those guys, if you ask me, all you've done is succeed in becoming a woman! (because ultimate that is how women behave - 'i feel like doing this, so im going to. i'll justify it later.')

 

[bigjohnson]

you don't want to be that guy in life. i dont care how much life has screwed you over, you don't want to be one of these guys that has no moral compass.

I also agree with this but it's a personal choice everyone has to make. Sometimes people in business get a little lost.

 

[KontrollerX]

"if you were getting p*ssy at will, you would not want to be a party to something like a cheating wife. sure, the world is dog eat dog, but that's no excuse to f*ck other people over - and you are participating in the wife f*cking her husband over."

Exactly.

Everything you said is spot on joekker.

Outstanding posts.

This is pretty much the same point I made with my post a page back.

It just wreaks of scarcity mentality to partake in something like this.

A true DJ has tons of hot single options to choose from so why choose this potentially messy situation with all those other hassle free options to choose from?

The only things I can think of for why a man would choose such a course of action are A. The forbidden fruit must be incredibly sweet to them B. The guy lacks options C. Wants to get back at the world for what it did to him by doing exactly what happened to him to others.

If its B and C the guy needs to kill that inner AFC yesterday.

If its A then there's really not much that can be done lol.

 

[jophil28]

oh and one last thing.

....you don't want to be one of these guys that has no moral compass.

if you do become one of those guys, if you ask me, all you've done is succeed in becoming a woman! (because ultimate that is how women behave - 'i feel like doing this, so im going to. i'll justify it later.')

JoeKerr is- The voice of reason !

Running around screwing married women just because you "can " puts you into a female mindset for the reason that JoeKerr has explained in the above post.

Jonwons and STR*UPs justifications for screwing married women are specious at best and just stupid at worst.

Remember that 'talk' we all had with dear ole Dad who told us NOT to do things just because we could Or because someone else did it first , " Listen son, would you stick your hand in a fire just because someone else did that ?"
THis was his warning to me NOT to follow the herd mentality and to choose my actions wisely.

Guys, also read the part about Pablo the pool guy AGAIN.


Jophil out.