Marriage...

[jimwho]

Lol @ @jimwho thanks for the chuckle, you're hilarious!

I'm getting married soon so not hitting on you or anything, lol, but in reading your posts, I bet you are a really fun person to date.

Sending good vibes on your new adventures. Keeping my wisecracks to a minimum on this one. Thank you..

 

[boom786]

Watch this:

--> it seems like what you need is congruency - congruency where you deliver on what you mean - you need to get her to trust you again and recondition her beliefs about you over time and the way to do that is to not overreact when things get heated or emotional or when she reminds you of you messing up but rather just calmly say 'hey look that's in the past and we're building towards XYZ now' and delivering on any new promises. What you need is new positive momentum - a lot of it is just going to be about being a better leader in the present moment and just building on it day by day, just focus on having great dates again doing fun things, and achieving bigger and better things in life whilst letting her come to you at her own pace, you cannot push it or speed up things by being needy or forceful, just say 'hey look I'm here for you and let me now when you would like to meet every' time pretty much - and let her feelings grow for you from the start again whilst you get on with your life and maybe let her bring up the topic of getting serious again as it needs to be her idea and her desire rather than your idea imposed on her.

You should look at Corey Wayne's book 'How to be a 3% Man' and watch his videos for a good general philosophy that works really well as well - good luck and hope this helps.

 

[Slowhandluke]

women don’t have an urge to screw around? Really?!

the number of attached women I screwed when young/muscular/working as a club DJ begs to differ. When I worked in holiday resorts, Jesus, it was free love.

The societies you mention, it was generally the wealthy, accomplished men who acted this way, and a lot of these cultural leanings have their foot in past wars. Russian culture was the same, but mainly because about 40% of men were killed in wars. This culture generally sprung up because men (or men with the requisite resources) were in short supply. I could go to the third world today and get the same arrangement. Some poor girl from a village is not going to care where you dip the ink provided the resources keep coming her way.

It’s a very convenient system isn’t it! I get to screw around and my theory says everyone’s happy!

would you want a woman who didn’t bat an eyelid when you come home covered in lipstick? Would that not, in some way, suggest she really doesn’t particularly care?

i would also question your assertion that all men want multiple flings. It’s in our nature, sure, but it’s also in womens nature to do the same. Little things like guilt get in the way for me, having to juggle this pantomime, the hurt it would cause my daughter if she found out. Plus most men who are actually in command of the resources to keep more than one woman are often too busy with work to have this kind of distraction.

I have one option, not a bad option, someone 19 years my junior, and I avoid her like the plague. Long experience tells me it isn’t worth it. 10 mins on pornhub achieves the same result without the massive hassle.

you, and others, May feel it’s your right and natural to sleep with as many women as you can. This js a forum for this after all, I’m just saying, don’t conflate your own will with that of others and make broad statements which ascribe these desires to everyone. Not everyone plays life on the same rules.

Not everyone can become a nun or a monk. There will always be edge cases, but to deny history is basically to deny one's humanity.

Affairs were so rampant, classic Hollywood even made a romantic comedy about it.

This țype of movie cannot be made now because people are too political correct.

 

[Bokanovsky]

When Rollo was here, he used to frequently say that "women want a man who could cheat. But don't".

Or a guy who doesn’t get caught.

It’s not clear from OP’s post what drove him to confess his affair but why on earth would you do that?? To a woman, confession is a sign of weakness. In some ways, it’s worse than the act of cheating itself. Whatever you do, don’t confess.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Or a guy who doesn’t get caught.

It’s not clear from OP’s post what drove him to confess his affair but why on earth would you do that?? To a woman, confession is a sign of weakness. In some ways, it’s worse than the act of cheating itself. Whatever you do, don’t confess.

In any event, agree don't tell. Telling her is for you, to alleviate your own guilt, not for her.

Agreed. Confessing is idiotic. Take it to the grave.

 

[manfrombelow]

The ability to bang plates and keep it a secret is also a masculine skill. It takes effort, training, time management, mental healthy, and respect for your "main plate" aka LTR to do that.

In short, guys who get caught never had enough respect for his family and LTR anyway to begin with.