Marriage in your future?

[dk1990S111]

Just curious how many guys are wanting to get married at this point with how things are going in the courts/choices women are making

 

[BaronOfHair]

Just curious how many guys are wanting to get married at this point with how things are going in the courts/choices women are making

-Never been high on my list of priorities

-Might I one day, just to say I gave it a whirl? Perhaps

 

[plumber]

for those that tell yes, a follow up questions is why ?? its an honest question.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Probably. Maybe this year.

 

[The Duke]

No, it doesn't benefit me in any way and I don't see the point in it. I've had a few want it really bad but I never gave in. One time was enough for me to know its a farce. Something about professing to hold each other dear and keep each other for eternity is a bunch of bullschit I can't get past.

It's like everyone promising to tell the truth and nothing but the truth before court proceedings! lmao. Biggest bunch of lying you will ever see goes on in a court room.

ITs just pomp and circumstances people. See past the smoke show.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Too theatrical and performative for me , I went to a close friends a few years ago the whole day was like being on a movie set

Everyone role playing , pinned smiles. , happy family acting

Caught my mate ( the groom ) taking a piss later in the evening dropped the smile, said he was exhausted and told me he can't wait for it to be over

The day cost them something like £20,000 and that was done on a tight budget.

Unless you have a very very close knit family and friends who all get along fantastically well and you maybe try to tie in a holiday abroad I just can't see any benefit to getting married

Its basically a gigantic show to prove to people your a functioning adult

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just curious how many guys are wanting to get married at this point with how things are going in the courts/choices women are making

It's a broken system trying to pair business contracts which is what it always traditionally has been, with "love" which is what it is supposed to symbolize now, and they mix like oil and water.

 

[Westminster]

Done it once and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Never again.

 

[Lotus Effect]

The thing for me is the kids tho.

if no marriage, how do you guys see the kids situation, especially the more experienced been there done that crowd?

 

[Gamisch]

The thing for me is the kids tho.

if no marriage, how do you guys see the kids situation, especially the more experienced been there done that crowd?

Kids see quite easy to make innit?

Nowadays you don't need marriage to have kids. Marriage is not gonna magically make it all better although many ( men) still believe it does..like it's a holy layer that somehow makes a woman behave better or less likey to leave. It won't.

If you find a woman who is 100% in to you she will most definitely wanna carry your offspring regardless of the actual "name" you put on the relationship. And even then you'll be hard-pressed to stay with her for lets start with 18 years.

If you want kids, then make them.

 

[Westminster]

The thing for me is the kids tho.

if no marriage, how do you guys see the kids situation, especially the more experienced been there done that crowd?

In theory, being married is an advantage as you have automatic parental rights should you divorce, which is not the case if you are an unmarried father. At least in English law.

In reality, however, any mother can stop a father from seeing their kids. All they have to do is report the husband to the police for domestic violence or abusing her and you're fighting a losing battle. She can go the whole hog and accuse you of assaulting the children if she wants.

Then you effectively have to put yourself on trial for child abuse. No jury, no need for beyond reasonable doubt in a family court either. You risk being ruined forever if you lose. No repercussions for her and she can always accuse you again at a later point anyway.

 

[Manure Spherian]

In theory, being married is an advantage as you have automatic parental rights should you divorce, which is not the case if you are an unmarried father. At least in English law.

That’s correct. If a man has no custody, he is not a father.

As you pointed out, with the current divorce regime, custody can be taken from innocent men, removing fatherhood. The regime also makes men homeless and incarcerated.

 

[obelisk]

I used to be of the opinion that marriage is a sufficient benefit for the kids in question. These days, between the financial risks to the man, more and more women not even taking their husband's surname and every other downside risk inherent to men in engaging in marriage, I have to seriously question it being a wise choice for any man. I seriously question if it's even beneficial for children if they're born to a couple who is one of these dysfunctional marriages even if they appear healthy on the surface.

It's simply way too destructive a proposition if you choose a spouse poorly eve if it's years later when the marriage craters.

 

[Lotus Effect]

thanks for the reply guys

I’m not talking about custody or the legal aspects of it

I’m just talking about offspring.
I’m very keen on having kids and the whole upbringing situation that comes along with that.

also I think it is a huge part of what makes a man be a man, and gives us a different sense of purpose

again, this is my belief, from the way that I was raised in my family back in Brazil.
I’m not familiar with the American situation but I think it’s safe to assume that the women in Brazil are just as “modern”. In Europe where I live right now as well.

And yes, I understand that having the kid is easy

… but I don’t know if I see myself raising kids without a partner, or with shared responsibility, cause that’s sounds Just too shltty

no Disney fantasy on my end. I do think it’s possible. It’s probably just very hard with women these days

 

[Westminster]

thanks for the reply guys

I’m not talking about custody or the legal aspects of it

I’m just talking about offspring.
I’m very keen on having kids and the whole upbringing situation that comes along with that.

also I think it is a huge part of what makes a man be a man, and gives us a different sense of purpose

again, this is my belief, from the way that I was raised in my family back in Brazil.
I’m not familiar with the American situation but I think it’s safe to assume that the women in Brazil are just as “modern”. In Europe where I live right now as well.

And yes, I understand that having the kid is easy

… but I don’t know if I see myself raising kids without a partner, or with shared responsibility, cause that’s sounds Just too shltty

no Disney fantasy on my end. I do think it’s possible. It’s probably just very hard with women these days

Sure go ahead and have kids if you find the right woman. It's natural to want to procreate. My advice however would still be, don't get married.

 

[Clockwerk50]

thanks for the reply guys

I’m not talking about custody or the legal aspects of it

I’m just talking about offspring.
I’m very keen on having kids and the whole upbringing situation that comes along with that.

also I think it is a huge part of what makes a man be a man, and gives us a different sense of purpose

again, this is my belief, from the way that I was raised in my family back in Brazil.
I’m not familiar with the American situation but I think it’s safe to assume that the women in Brazil are just as “modern”. In Europe where I live right now as well.

And yes, I understand that having the kid is easy

… but I don’t know if I see myself raising kids without a partner, or with shared responsibility, cause that’s sounds Just too shltty

no Disney fantasy on my end. I do think it’s possible. It’s probably just very hard with women these days

I made this post about the decrease in birth rates, in which I briefly explain why having children is such a significant time, financial, and lifestyle commitment. Furthermore, if you do have a child, the mother will be in your life forever, regardless of whether she is a nice or mean person.

It is a major investment and not for the weak.

Why are Women Opting Out of Marriage Around the World?

Article below https://www.uh.edu/news-events/stories/2023/january-2023/011123.php News headlines such as “Why More Women Are Choosing to Stay Single Now,” “Craving Freedom, Japan’s Women Opt Out of Marriage,” “Nearly Half of Canadians Feel ‘Marriage is Simply Not Necessary,’” and “Chileans are...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Lotus Effect]

I was actually asking a question, on how do you guys see that?

Being a single dad. Raising kids separately?
In contrast of being with a partner?

for those who have kids.

 

[Snag87]

The thing for me is the kids tho.

if no marriage, how do you guys see the kids situation, especially the more experienced been there done that crowd?

I've been anti-marriage the majority of my life. Even I concede that if you're going to have kids you should probably just get married.

 

[Foe]

I was actually asking a question, on how do you guys see that?

Being a single dad. Raising kids separately?
In contrast of being with a partner?

for those who have kids.

I get one week off every other week. Its pretty sweet. Hypothetically with a partner you have to do half the work however a LTR with kids good luck with that. Generally, you end up doing more not less.

This way I get a whole week to myself to do what I want.