"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

mandatory contact with a nutcase

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Warrior74 said:
Self destruction is the way forward.
So very true. One bad experience will teach you more than reading 1,000 posts on SoSuave. That's why I often think it's best to just let guys make their mistakes, it's part of the growing process.

Not saying Die Hard is making a mistake here, by the way - not enough information. What WILL mess him up is all this indecision. All the I want to have sex with her, no I don't I just want to be friends, I am attracted to her, I'm not going to kiss her, maybe I should kiss her, etc. That indecision can be an attraction killer, women want the leader. Pick a direction and go with it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
@ Zekko: Exactly, you either cross the street or you stay on your side. What you don't do is start crossing the street and then stand still halfway through. That's a sure way to get hit by a car ;). By the way, the answers to your questions are already in my earlier posts. They might be difficult to discern, though, coz some of my posts in this thread were not the result of a thought process, they were the thought process (hope that makes sense). Anyway, I know the answers myself, lol :)

@ Warrior: Gradually stepping outside you comfort zone is the way forward.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
4,440
Reaction score
1,560
Age
82
Location
Australia
Dear DieHard,
"I'm afraid she might "flake on me" and not be my dancing partner if I don't show enough interest in her!"well Boo Hoo,aren't there another ten Girls in the Class?your objective is to learn to Dance,the acquisition of Skill therein will guarantee you a lift in your Point Rating of at least 1.5....easier than the ephemeral gaining of muscles in the Gym.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
Scaramouche said:
Dear DieHard,
"I'm afraid she might "flake on me" and not be my dancing partner if I don't show enough interest in her!"well Boo Hoo,aren't there another ten Girls in the Class?your objective is to learn to Dance,the acquisition of Skill therein will guarantee you a lift in your Point Rating of at least 1.5....easier than the ephemeral gaining of muscles in the Gym.
True that ^
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
I'm really happy to get responses from you guys, thank you for that.

@ Scaramouche: Like I said before, everyone in class has a fixed partner. FOr example, it's people who have a relationship/married or people who hooked up through that "find a dance partner" site and chose to be each other's dancing partner for the classes, they won't suddenly swap.

Sure, we started doing rotation during class on the second lesson. But the couples show up together for the class, each member of each couple will stand next to each other as a couple, not as individuals, and they start out dancing with their fixed partner. Only when the teacher says we're gonna mix it up, the couples "break up", but they return to each other at the end of the lesson again. So no, it is not that easy to just swap dancing partners if things between me and this chick go awry.

@ PairPlusRoyalFlush: Thanks for your concern, I really mean that. But you can't seriously compare my current situation to the situation you were in when I gave you that advice...
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
I wonder how many people use these dance classes as just a big dating service. More than a few, I bet.
How much do these classes cost, and how long do they run?
I think Jophil mentioned something about second year in one of his posts.
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
Mine run for 15 weeks and it's not very expensive.

As you can see, starting these classes definitely added to my "love life" :crackup:


By the way, you guys wanna know what pulled me over the line to actually sign up for this? I had never seen it before but just recently, I finally watched that movie "Swingers". The dance scene at the end of the movie is what pulled me over the line, lol.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
zekko said:
I wonder how many people use these dance classes as just a big dating service. More than a few, I bet.
How much do these classes cost, and how long do they run?
I think Jophil mentioned something about second year in one of his posts.
Dance classes are the BEST way to meet new women. There are always more women than men and the same attendees usually turn up -same time same night , every week.

Dance class game is also the best kept secret...easy.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Mine run for 15 weeks and it's not very expensive
Define "not very expensive".

I had never seen it before but just recently, I finally watched that movie "Swingers". The dance scene at the end of the movie is what pulled me over the line, lol.
Great movie, and fairly consistent with some of the stuff they say here. I also like that dance scene. I've always thought swing dancing was very cool. Let me know if you run into someone who looks like Heather Graham!

Jophil28 said:
There are always more women than men
Sounds like with Die Hard's class you have to have a partner.
 
Last edited:

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
Zekko, it's around 10 Euro for one lesson.

Actually, my dancing partner sorta has the same type of face and the reddish hair! Not nearly as handsome, though :p


@ PairPlusRoyalFlush: Whatever, dude... Thanks again for your concern, I'll leave it at that.
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
HAH! An interesting situation is coming up!

So we had that text convo about me coming to her place to drop off the USB stick. I couldn't make it on Friday, so I suggested Saturday but she couldn't make that. This is how that convo ended:

Her: "Oh, I'll be in (insert city name) on Saturday night... Wednesday night after all then, I guess? (she means to just bring the USB stick along at our next class) Wanna grab a drink before class? Sweet dreams. (it was late at night)

Me: "No worries ;) I'll see you Wednesday at 7:30 then? Sweet dreams."

Here's the thing: she never replied after this...

I think this is where my gut feeling is finally gonna get it's confirmation and she'll start playing games... I bet she's just gonna show up at 7:50 and act like we never agreed upon meeting earlier. If she were a normal person, that'd be a ridiculous. And to be honest, she has been acting perfectly normal until now, but my spider sense did go off when we first met (through the phone) and I trust it. I just "know" she's not gonna be there at 7:30, like I suggested.

So I'll just be there at 7:50 myself (class starts at 8). We'll see what happens :p. She'll probably be there already and ask why I'm late, lol. Then I'll just explain to her: "If you don't confirm the time I suggested, I'll assume you won't be there at the time I suggested". She might go: "Oh, I thought it was clear that I would be there at your suggested time. Why whouldn't I? I was the one who suggested to grab drinks before class in the first place, so of course I can be here 30 minutes before class, no need to confrim it, right? You're weird... Besides, if you were unsure, then why didn't you call/text me to confirm?" But I'll just stand my ground if she starts this crap.

Whatever, it's gonna be interesting to see how this one plays out :)
 
Last edited:

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Die Hard said:
I think this is where my gut feeling is finally gonna get it's confirmation and she'll start playing games... I bet she's just gonna show up at 7:50 and act like we never agreed upon meeting earlier. If she were a normal person, that'd be a ridiculous. And to be honest, she has been acting perfectly normal until now, but my spider sense did go off when we first met (through the phone) and I trust it. I just "know" she's not gonna be there at 7:30, like I suggested.

So I'll just be there at 7:50 myself (class starts at 8). We'll see what happens . She'll probably be there already and ask why I'm late, lol. Then I'll just explain to her: "If you don't confirm the time I suggested, I'll assume you won't be there at the time I suggested". She might go: "Oh, I thought it was clear that I would be there at your suggested time. Why whouldn't I? I was the one who suggested to grab drinks before class in the first place, so of course I can be here 30 minutes before class, no need to confrim it, right? You're weird... Besides, if you were unsure, then why didn't you call/text me to confirm?" But I'll just stand my ground if she starts this crap.
This is exactly why I'm glad I don't have to deal with dating anymore.
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
Die Hard said:
HAH! "If you don't confirm the time I suggested, I'll assume you won't be there at the time I suggested". She might go: "Oh, I thought it was clear that I would be there at your suggested time. Why whouldn't I? I was the one who suggested to grab drinks before class in the first place, so of course I can be here 30 minutes before class, no need to confrim it, right? You're weird... Besides, if you were unsure, then why didn't you call/text me to confirm?" But I'll just stand my ground if she starts this crap.
LOL! Oh the joys of too much talking and overthinking. This post shows both. Having preplanned lines sucks. Thinking of whats and ifs sucks. Going with the flow and dismissing it all causually, priceless. YOU CARE TOO MUCH.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
Thanks for putting things in perspective, Warrior :up:
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
3,197
Reaction score
140
Why do you need a partner for a dance class? Usually they're dying to get more guys. I'd just rock up and rock out. You're so occupied with trying to spend more time with her that I bet she can smell the butterflies farting around in your stomach.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
4,440
Reaction score
1,560
Age
82
Location
Australia
Dear DieHard,
This Culture of "Fixed Couples"Is something new to me....Apologies...As you have signed up for your lesson you are really in a tricky situation...Aah well a little humility is no load to acquire...treat it as an academic situation....I think a word to the Instructor might not go astray...even just going on your own you will pick up the basic steps...a video and your own music on the carpet at home,and you will soon have it worked out...Here in Australia if you are a few lessons ahead of the great unwashed you can easily pick up good quality Women,but if everything is couples then it seems a bit self defeating...But,but,but,is this the only Dance Hall offering lessons?I find it hard to understand where all the lonely Girls Go?What about a bit of feedback from the other Guys on this site.
 

betterthandead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2007
Messages
296
Reaction score
7
I like how Die Hard comes off as someone who tries to come off more mentally sane while describing this woman as BPD/nutcase when if someone with an IQ over 100 is able to examine his posts it shows that he's just as loony or more so than the girl.

If you're really 30, what's up with the games?
 

betterthandead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2007
Messages
296
Reaction score
7
I'm with you there, Die Hard sounds like one of those. I started a dance class and by no means is it a way for meet women, I'm just there to really actually learn how to dance. I'm not physically smooth and I'd like to be.

Women who are experienced in dance classes know sketchy guys will come up to them wanting to be their fixed dance partner and probably want to go "out for drinks" "out for coffee" or "out for something"

zekko said:
I wonder how many people use these dance classes as just a big dating service. More than a few, I bet.
How much do these classes cost, and how long do they run?
I think Jophil mentioned something about second year in one of his posts.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Top