"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Man wants judge to take his lazy ex-wife off of $3K/mo alimony

MatureDJ

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During the divorce negotiations I agreed to give her more than 50% of the family assets and she was able to buy a house with more net equity than the house I stayed in. I also agreed to modifiable maintenance of $3,000 a month, 50% of the 401(k) and pension. I wanted her set up for success.

So now that my children are grown and the last one is in the final year of college, I am planning on selling the house and downsizing so that I can save more for retirement and pay off the moderate debt I’ve accumulated to pay for their college educations.
The largest single expense I have is the maintenance, and I don’t feel that it is fair that I have to go to work every day and she still hasn’t gotten a steady job.

My question is how do I approach this problem? When is it fair to go back to court to reduce maintenance? I am frustrated because she never would get a job once the children were born despite never-ending promises to do so in the future when we discussed major expenditures that I felt we couldn’t afford at the time.

She still has not gotten a job. This essentially makes it harder for me to do anything without feeling guilty. My other concern is how my ex-wife will portray the situation to my children and how they will react. My lawyer felt it would be no problem getting the maintenance reduced significantly.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bible_Belt

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The last sentence made me chuckle. Lawyers are con artists who will say anything to get your money...and then do no work and keep the money.

It's similar to child support decrees, which are difficult to get re opened to modify. Changed circumstances are required, must be significantly different than at the time the decree was issued.
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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How long can this go on for?
Untill the everyday average guy in that condition goes postal if unheard.

People didnt get "rights" by obeying the law otherwise we would have women ironing shirts and blacks sitting the bottom of the bus...you americans would be still paying taxes to queen elizabeth.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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mrgoodstuff

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Untill the everyday average guy in that condition goes postal if unheard.

People didnt get "rights" by obeying the law otherwise we would have women ironing shirts and blacks sitting the bottom of the bus...you americans would be still paying taxes to queen elizabeth.
Women should iron shirts man men do masculine chores. The genders were designed to complement each other.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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