"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Man wants judge to take his lazy ex-wife off of $3K/mo alimony

MatureDJ

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During the divorce negotiations I agreed to give her more than 50% of the family assets and she was able to buy a house with more net equity than the house I stayed in. I also agreed to modifiable maintenance of $3,000 a month, 50% of the 401(k) and pension. I wanted her set up for success.

So now that my children are grown and the last one is in the final year of college, I am planning on selling the house and downsizing so that I can save more for retirement and pay off the moderate debt I’ve accumulated to pay for their college educations.
The largest single expense I have is the maintenance, and I don’t feel that it is fair that I have to go to work every day and she still hasn’t gotten a steady job.

My question is how do I approach this problem? When is it fair to go back to court to reduce maintenance? I am frustrated because she never would get a job once the children were born despite never-ending promises to do so in the future when we discussed major expenditures that I felt we couldn’t afford at the time.

She still has not gotten a job. This essentially makes it harder for me to do anything without feeling guilty. My other concern is how my ex-wife will portray the situation to my children and how they will react. My lawyer felt it would be no problem getting the maintenance reduced significantly.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bible_Belt

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The last sentence made me chuckle. Lawyers are con artists who will say anything to get your money...and then do no work and keep the money.

It's similar to child support decrees, which are difficult to get re opened to modify. Changed circumstances are required, must be significantly different than at the time the decree was issued.
 

Who Dares Win

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How long can this go on for?
Untill the everyday average guy in that condition goes postal if unheard.

People didnt get "rights" by obeying the law otherwise we would have women ironing shirts and blacks sitting the bottom of the bus...you americans would be still paying taxes to queen elizabeth.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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mrgoodstuff

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Untill the everyday average guy in that condition goes postal if unheard.

People didnt get "rights" by obeying the law otherwise we would have women ironing shirts and blacks sitting the bottom of the bus...you americans would be still paying taxes to queen elizabeth.
Women should iron shirts man men do masculine chores. The genders were designed to complement each other.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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