You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You missed "the ability to play an instrument".fuzzx said:Heres some things the wise 30 y/o has:
- Travel experience
- A good education
- A set of street skills
- A martial art
- A passport
- A positive attitude
- A curiosity about the world
- The ability to pickup a girl
- The ability to sell
- Money in the bank
- A story to tell
The most valuable things in life travel with you wherever you go.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
...we actually park all three of our cars in a 3-car garage! And none of those cars have a loan albeit the newest one is 8yrs old right now. Excessive car debt is a bigger waste of money than extended renting.Vulpine said:people, if they have space, will fill it with crap they don't need or use. Think he's making it up? I know everyone here has driven by a place where the garage door is up. How many of those places had no cars in the garage, just boxes of crap? How many had one car in a two car garage, but the other half is full of crap?
...I know the OP's topic has been derailed into non-material things, what not to have, showing off what we have, etc. But the words Vulpine writes above, to me, are well worth it the aside. Packrat, impulse buying is actually a much bigger problem than anyone really wants to address. To me it's a cancerous byproduct of our modern society. I can count couples and single people left and right who have so many useless things filling up all this great space with junk. What does that say about us. We fill up our valuable expensive space with crap. That's insane isn't it.Vulpine said:Packrat, impulse-buying consumers make me laugh. Sheep.
Buying crap to stuff in your apartment is just more stuff to move. Not only that, but more stuff to get beat up and/or destroyed during the move. But nobody wants to see that all their nice "stuff" only makes their lives harder.
Sinistar said:My Milwaukee Right Angle Drill has never let me down. But I didn't need to buy it new at a Home Depot to achieve that goal. I just needed to be patient and wait for the right listing or auction or sale to come along.
Sinistar said:.
I'd like to suggest a Man's Essential Item:
A wishlist. For years I have kept one of these. Some of the items are short term (less than 3 months) and most of them are longer term (6months and out). I stick to it. It slows things down. I keeps me from impulse buying. I rarely if every feel buyers remorse. And if I do I return any friggin' thing I'm not happy with. And I always look for it used first. My Milwaukee Right Angle Drill has never let me down. But I didn't need to buy it new at a Home Depot to achieve that goal. I just needed to be patient and wait for the right listing or auction or sale to come along.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.