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Male Orbiters: To Keep or Eliminate

mrgoodstuff

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yes i agree, but its actually women who pine over that idea not me, every woman i know has a burning desire to live our elders family happy life
Yea but much of the new stuff is artificial and causes problems.
 

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LARaiders85

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^ That is absolutely golden right there!

I just dumped a LTR in January. One of our top 10 issues of friction was her orbiters on FB. She had a lot of single men on there doing the orbiter thing. I never told her to get rid of them, what I told her was "I guess I misunderstood the terms of our relationship but I understand now. If you are going to communicate with single men, I'm gonna communicate with single chicks". We fought hard about this off and on..... So fast forward to earlier this week. She Emailed me about some mail coming to my house of hers. OK no prob. The Emails started very civil, but then she started going off on me in one of her rants. She loved to rant. Inside one of her long rants she said "It sure is nice to be able to talk to guys online freely and get likes on my pictures without having to deal with your jealous azz. " Which again, I never told her DON'T, I just said I would recriprocate her behavior equally. Which I don't have FB so for me that meant texting chicks in my old rotation and making a new one. But here in the rant she admitted that she enjoyed her orbiters and attention, even when in an LTR with me.
NPD rants, talk about walls of text lol
 

logicallefty

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Yeah I had a two year relationship with one and I've helped others IRL deal with their breakups with them as well.
I'm just curious, the ones you saw, did they stink and punctuation and grammar? She was horrible at it. This is her text below, one of several. She jabs on be for SoSuave lol She knew I was on a "Man's group" but she doesn't know which one. I'm curious if the way she runs all of this in one sentence is normal in the disorder or something for just her.

"All u did was put me down every chance u got to make yourself feel better i started to get skinnier down to from size 8 to 6 eat your heart out lol that pizzed u off and u know it because of your jealousy with Scott close to 9 years u have no idea u just assume because i am a woman why dont u have your mans group (SoSuave) comfort u that's all u care about i was on FB a lot cuz i was bored no attention from u".
 
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LARaiders85

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I'm just curious, the ones you saw, did they stink and punctuation and grammar? She was horrible at it. This is her text below, one of several. She jabs on be for SoSuave lol She knew I was on a "Man's group" but she doesn't know which one. I'm curious if the way she runs all of this in one sentence is normal in the disorder or something for just her.

"All u did was put me down every chance u got to make yourself feel better i started to get skinnier down to from size 8 to 6 eat your heart out lol that pizzed u off and u know it because of your jealousy with Scott close to 9 years u have no idea u just assume because i am a woman why dont u have your mans group (SoSuave) comfort u that's all u care about i was on FB a lot cuz i was bored no attention from u".
Mine was very high IQ so no, but the rants were epic and just grasping at anything to use against you. Some of it is absurd, some of it they got by observing your weaknesses and taking notes to use later.
 

logicallefty

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Mine was very high IQ so no, but the rants were epic and just grasping at anything to use against you. Some of it is absurd, some of it they got by observing your weaknesses and taking notes to use later.
10-4, thanks!
 

jnMissouri

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I have dated 500+ women, had roughly 100 plates, 12+ LTRs including one marriage—all HB 7 - 9.5s Most of my plates and no LTRS have had male friends/orbiters that they were in contact with while with me. Granted, I had to sieve through hundreds.

My philosophy is rudimentary: In a male-female dynamic, one party-at one point--has wanted to f*ck the other. Thus, I perceive an exclusive contender’s continued communications with a male orbiter/friend as direct disrespect to me. Thus, no negotiations, no boundaries, no restrictions, no discussions, no compromise, nothing. I’m gone. She has a 0% shot at exclusivity with me. I will keep such a specimen as a plate, but that’s the extent.

For exclusivity, find one with core compatibility traits (a/k/a no male orbiters), and shape the incidentals with boundaries (a/k/a ancillary expectations).

I agree with this. I posted a similar thread about male friends, etc. I think it's very beta to allow such a thing. Women keep beta's as backup options, emotional support, favors, gifts. But if she is hot they all want to bang her. It is disrespectful to me to choose random men who are barely even acquaintances over me in a relationship. I now take the attitude you mentioned in my thread on the topic: sure you can have male friends, but not while exclusive with me and just keep spinning her....
 

Visionist

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...some of it they got by observing your weaknesses and taking notes to use later.
Always maintain mystery and never share your emotions or weaknesses. There are male friends for that (and only the ones you can trust with your life).
 

Reyaj

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First off, if she's just a regular plate, if she's just a pump and dump, or a FWB, or a FB, or just a casual date, it doesn't matter. She can do what she wants.

But for a more serious girlfriend (or even wife, not that I would ever marry), I prefer a third option. If she insists on hanging on to her orbiters, then I would next her and get a more suitable woman.

Regarding befriending the orbiters, there is no way I am having dinner with some dude my girlfirend brings over. No thanks, not happening. I'll choose my own friends, thanks.
I think this is probably the best advice here and closest to my view on this. But the question is how do you define an orbiter?

My understanding of the term is that its a guy who hangs around a girl hoping to get with her where as she may just see him as a friend or likes the attention. My current girl had one of these when we were first dating... I never even met this clown but she used to tell me he would hate on me and make comments. I laughed and paid it no mind... he soon was out of the picture.

However in most consistent settings such as work or recreation its very possible your girl will have to meet and interact with other males. I believe you can't look like a jealous insecure idiot when it comes to these interactions. However if you do notice your girl hanging out with them solo too often for your liking you have the right to forbid it.

Honestly the best defense I found for this is pre selection on your part. If your girl sees you are capable of doing the same she'll definitely not want to go there.
 
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