Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Male Orbiters: To Keep or Eliminate

2Rocky

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
319
Reaction score
229
SO after dating a woman for 3 years long distance and now living with her I have had the interesting experience of seeing what she did to her orbiters over the duration of our relationship. I watched her Facebook feed dwindle to nothing. Before I came on the scene, she had 7-10 guys commenting on her new profile picture (roughly every 2 weeks or so) before I met her. Now she hasn't changed it for over a year, and it is of the two of us. My point being, if a woman doesn't need the attention and validation of orbiters, she will ignore them.

I really think if I had made a big deal out of other guys around It would have made me look petty and butthurt. In fact my approach is "it comes with the territory when you are dating a hot girl" and I've said as much. A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep.
 

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few – not the unwashed masses.

image

If you think you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – and wish to continue being so – then skip this. It's too much power for you.

Desdinova

Moderator
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,538
Reaction score
4,156
If a girl has orbitors, I downgrade to booty call. I take cobra tates approach. Fall in line or **** off. Guy friends means downgrade to booty call. Fwb. Not upgrade to house wife. Guys who tolerate it deserve to get cuckoldry.
That's a 6 year old post. I've changed my stance on orbiters since then. I agree with you 100%. If she has orbiters, she's a low grade piece of 5hit who's only purpose should be a cvm dumpster.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
3,357
Reaction score
2,360
Age
29
That's a 6 year old post. I've changed my stance on orbiters since then. I agree with you 100%. If she has orbiters, she's a low grade piece of 5hit who's only purpose should be a cvm dumpster.
+1

Big up Des mate,

It portrays growth. I am ridiculous honest here. More risky. Convos here with you fellas, I never had with my family or my mates.

We log off and it's gynocentric and fem powerment. Anybody or all of us doxed wouldn't end well in the real world. Trp and Trump sub reddit is nurfed. More censorship, more man gating, kangaroo court systems, and the level of stupidity knows no bounds.

Glad you mods keep a lid on any such ****ery.
 

bcude

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
369
Reaction score
458
Age
38
Let's bring up these statistics from a large survey made in UK again:

43% of women have a backup man if their current LTR doesn't work out (conservative). 80% of them are in contact with that man. Women love orbiters, even if they're married. 15% of them said their feelings were stronger for the backup man. They are placeholders until she finds a great guy.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,213
Reaction score
5,124
Let's bring up these statistics from a large survey made in UK again:

43% of women have a backup man if their current LTR doesn't work out (conservative). 80% of them are in contact with that man. Women love orbiters, even if they're married. 15% of them said their feelings were stronger for the backup man.
I'd like to see how they worded that survey. And bear in mind this is just what they admitted to on paper (or online or wherever).
I'm surprised so many of them were even consciously aware that this is what they were doing. I would think a lot of this behavior is simply instinctual.

As for 15% saying their feelings were stronger for the backup man, that doesn't impress me much. That probably just that the unknown is more exciting and novel than what is known. Put that backup guy in the top slot and a lot of shine will come off of him, I bet.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,422
Reaction score
1,929
Location
Australia
The problem with the male friends thing is the male has a d1ck. Hopefully your girl is not hideous in which case any time he is in a dry spell likely to have a go. Ever since I have specialised in immigrant girls I pay a lot of attention to what works in the old cultures. Once they have a serious boyfriend they drop all the male friends. BTW it's also not a good idea to have your ex is hanging around cos you absolutely can count on your girl quizzing the x and then running your relationship under the microscope. and having your chick micro analyse your relationship seldom ends up in anything useful for the bloke. I.e. it isn't going to provide more sex or home cooked meals.

Haha I hadn't read @Desdinova s post I can see we are aligned. So the stars are out and God is in HIS heaven.

@2Rocky my girl doesn't have Facebook
 
Last edited:

Suave88

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 23, 2019
Messages
392
Reaction score
121
Age
40
This is such a debatable topic, but the subject of orbiters comes up quite frequently. Orbiters will never going away as long as a woman has value. In the dating world, we will always have to deal with them either in vast quantities, or one at a time.

Male orbiters are a double-edged sword. It is against our nature to allow the woman to keep male orbiters. Men are naturally protective of their investments, and a woman certainly qualifies as one. A lot of guys will view male orbiters as a "threat" or as a woman's backburner prospects. We have two options when it comes to orbiters:

1) Make the girl get rid of the orbiter(s).

This immediately satisfies our need to protect our investment. There's three problems with this scenario. First, it's unacceptable socially. If she's forced to get rid of the orbiter, then it becomes an issue of "trust", "control" and "the sex of the friend should be irrelevant in the name of true equality!" She will get feeback like this from her friends and family.

The second problem with doing this is we appear insecure and less confident. Secure, confident men are attractive, and we can effectively give our power to the orbiter if he KNOWS he's pissing us off.

The third problem with eliminating the orbiter is his value will go up. In the sense of female attraction, male friends are low value and women will not fvck their friends. Once you eliminate the orbiter as a friend, he becomes a potential prospect. Women naturally want what they can't have. When she comes into contact with this male friend a year later, he is now a prospect. But he's not just any prospect, he's got value. Her emotions will quickly jump to the positive end of the scale when she quickly reconnects with him. Women react to and analyze their emotional transitions. Suddenly, she's thinking about him a lot. When a woman's constantly thinking about a man, she becomes attracted. He has now become higher value than YOU.

2) Befriend the orbiter(s)

There's two potential outcomes here. First, you can end up with a really good friend. There's no problem here because she's fvcking YOU and you have gained respect from this guy, both as a friend and as a couple.

The second outcome is the orbiter becomes jealous. He begins acting insecure and attempts to protect his investment in her, even though he's not fvcking her. Insecurity is unattractive and annoying to the woman, and this will cause her to eventually dismiss the orbiter as a friend. This in turn raises our value and assures her she's with the correct man. When she runs into him a year later, he will ask "So, are you still with HIM?" The jealousy never goes away, and she will be reminded of how insecure he was. His value will remain low and she will not wish to pursue him as a prospect.
Orbiters around your wife, girlfriend, or plate are never good. I have always said that if a man is frequenting me, he is either interested in my other half or he is interested in me and thus he is gay. I don't accept them ever. Personal relationships do not exist. Everything is pure hypocrisy.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
2,548
Reaction score
898
Age
36
I'd like to see how they worded that survey. And bear in mind this is just what they admitted to on paper (or online or wherever).
I'm surprised so many of them were even consciously aware that this is what they were doing. I would think a lot of this behavior is simply instinctual.

As for 15% saying their feelings were stronger for the backup man, that doesn't impress me much. That probably just that the unknown is more exciting and novel than what is known. Put that backup guy in the top slot and a lot of shine will come off of him, I bet.
you know the sad part? I bet tehy pretty much said and didn't care, its not like its a bad thing on they view, now notice if the guy did the same
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,213
Reaction score
5,124
its not like its a bad thing on they view, now notice if the guy did the same
They'd be upset, I'm sure, but I think guys do actually do the same. Not keep orbiters exactly, but keep other options in mind. The guys who don't often get blindsided and they're lost for awhile.

There's two schools of thought on breakups. One, take some time to evaluate yourself. Two, get back on the horse. I tend to believe the latter. I mean, if you need some time, sure take a week. Then get back out there. Dating and social muscles can atrophy.
 

bcude

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
369
Reaction score
458
Age
38
I'd like to see how they worded that survey. And bear in mind this is just what they admitted to on paper (or online or wherever).
I'm surprised so many of them were even consciously aware that this is what they were doing. I would think a lot of this behavior is simply instinctual.

As for 15% saying their feelings were stronger for the backup man, that doesn't impress me much. That probably just that the unknown is more exciting and novel than what is known. Put that backup guy in the top slot and a lot of shine will come off of him, I bet.
I would think you're correct, alot of this behavior is instinctual since women love to have their male attention around them validating their existence, especially the hordes with daddy issues. Women usually monkey branch when they breakup and that goes along with having a couple of options in the background ready.
It's really a win/win for her, she either gets validation or she has a great "friend" she can fall back to if sh1t hits the fan with the current guy maximizing survival for her in an evolutionary sense.

Alot of women are also wifed up to a boring man, but he's providing them with an excellent lifestyle to the point where they don't want to leave the guy to lose that value he brings to them, but they feel stronger arousal towards the backup man. Grass is greener syndrome aswell most probably.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,213
Reaction score
5,124
I would think you're correct, alot of this behavior is instinctual since women love to have their male attention around them validating their existence
No doubt that's true. Men like female attention also, for that matter. Maybe not to "validate their existence", but it strokes the ego. Which women are masters of.

But I've also heard another explanation for male orbiters being so common: It's a survival strategy. Women traveling alone can be vulnerable, bringing a male friend along can offer protection. Also having males around to fill different roles and skills they may not have mastered: To work on the car, to fix their plumbing, to patch their roof or drywall the dining room. Throw in some more to buy them dinner or take them shopping. It all makes sense really.

Women are simply more social creatures anyway, for the most part. They stayed together in the caves raising the young while the men were out hunting. Even without male orbiters, they usually build much more elaborate social support systems than men do. Which is one reason why women usually recover from breakups much quicker than men. Too many guys literally build their world around their woman.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
1,056
Reaction score
584
Age
37
Every woman has a complete eco system set up in her phone, this is why i don't date, there is nothing enjoyable about it one bit...she may not reply to these orbiters but she wont "get rid" of them unless your on 400k a year then she will turn virtuous over night. My grandad didn't finish a shift and come home to 10 men fawning at my nan through the front letterbox, that shes told them the address, and neither will I,
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
7,743
Reaction score
6,899
Age
35
Every woman has a complete eco system set up in her phone, this is why i don't date, there is nothing enjoyable about it one bit...she may not reply to these orbiters but she wont "get rid" of them unless your on 400k a year then she will turn virtuous over night. My grandad didn't finish a shift and come home to 10 men fawning at my nan through the front letterbox, that shes told them the address, and neither will I,
It's pretty frustrating, not gonna lie
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
2,475
Reaction score
1,560
Here’s what I’ve learned about women with an orbiter collection. What makes you think they won’t eventually do the same to you? I know for a fact that most women have gone on at least 3-4 dates with some of their orbiters before sticking them in the friendzone. That’s how they become orbiters. They lead them right into that ****.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,213
Reaction score
5,124
My grandad didn't finish a shift and come home to 10 men fawning at my nan through the front letterbox, that shes told them the address, and neither will I,
Certainly understandable. But let's face it, the world your grandfather grew up in is gone and isn't coming back. For that matter, neither is the world I grew up in. It makes you think about how fleeting and fragile the state of reality and culture at any given time is. One minute it's here, the next it's gone.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
5,053
Reaction score
3,525
Age
46
Location
Hole in the Ground, Illinois, USA
My grandad didn't finish a shift and come home to 10 men fawning at my nan through the front letterbox, that shes told them the address, and neither will I,
^ That is absolutely golden right there!

I just dumped a LTR in January. One of our top 10 issues of friction was her orbiters on FB. She had a lot of single men on there doing the orbiter thing. I never told her to get rid of them, what I told her was "I guess I misunderstood the terms of our relationship but I understand now. If you are going to communicate with single men, I'm gonna communicate with single chicks". We fought hard about this off and on..... So fast forward to earlier this week. She Emailed me about some mail coming to my house of hers. OK no prob. The Emails started very civil, but then she started going off on me in one of her rants. She loved to rant. Inside one of her long rants she said "It sure is nice to be able to talk to guys online freely and get likes on my pictures without having to deal with your jealous azz. " Which again, I never told her DON'T, I just said I would recriprocate her behavior equally. Which I don't have FB so for me that meant texting chicks in my old rotation and making a new one. But here in the rant she admitted that she enjoyed her orbiters and attention, even when in an LTR with me.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
11,583
Reaction score
6,351
Location
DFW, TX
^ That is absolutely golden right there!

I just dumped a LTR in January. One of our top 10 issues of friction was her orbiters on FB. She had a lot of single men on there doing the orbiter thing. I never told her to get rid of them, what I told her was "I guess I misunderstood the terms of our relationship but I understand now. If you are going to communicate with single men, I'm gonna communicate with single chicks". We fought hard about this off and on..... So fast forward to earlier this week. She Emailed me about some mail coming to my house of hers. OK no prob. The Emails started very civil, but then she started going off on me in one of her rants. She loved to rant. Inside one of her long rants she said "It sure is nice to be able to talk to guys online freely and get likes on my pictures without having to deal with your jealous azz. " Which again, I never told her DON'T, I just said I would recriprocate her behavior equally. Which I don't have FB so for me that meant texting chicks in my old rotation and making a new one. But here in the rant she admitted that she enjoyed her orbiters and attention, even when in an LTR with me.
You better keep your game going.
 

purple haze

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 23, 2006
Messages
65
Reaction score
28
I guess the moral of the story is find a girl who loves you so much she won't permit other guys to orbit in any way. Or if they do contact her, all she says is how much she loves you until they get tired of hearing it.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
1,056
Reaction score
584
Age
37
Certainly understandable. But let's face it, the world your grandfather grew up in is gone and isn't coming back
yes i agree, but its actually women who pine over that idea not me, every woman i know has a burning desire to live our elders family happy life
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
1,056
Reaction score
584
Age
37
without having to deal with your jealous azz
lmao totally this is why i used the word enjoyable in my original comment, i dont find these guys a threat one bit, its just not enjoyable, i've had to to do a complete peacock dance, and check i havent got a stray eyebrow, just to get her to date, and other men are there with ease for her to feel good.................and like clockwork your a "domestic violent coke head"
 
Top