Making Emotional Speech Practical

[jhonny9546]

There are many interesting topics about how to become a man of value, and there are also clear, actionable steps to do so, like lifting weights, eating well, going out to specific places, dressing well, maintaining good hygiene, and so on.


These are simple, concrete steps that anyone can take.


But when it comes to speaking with emotion, it’s different. There aren’t really "action steps" or "measurable feedback" like there are with weight training. Instead, it’s hard to even understand what it really means — it feels abstract.


So, how can we make the idea of speaking emotionally more concrete and practical?


The only clear contrast you can rely on is hearing how a technician or scientist speaks, they talk about information without any emotional tone.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So, how can we make the idea of speaking emotionally more concrete and practical?

It's hard to quantify that kind of thing but you will improve if you practice.

One way is to make videos of yourself speaking, watch the videos and you'll see where you need to improve.

Another way is to enroll in Toastmasters and deliberately push out your "emotional communication" comfort zone.

Another way is to take a beginning acting class.

They do all kinds of exercises in those types of class to help you destroy your comfort zone.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It's hard to quantify that kind of thing but you will improve if you practice.

One way is to make videos of yourself speaking, watch the videos and you'll see where you need to improve.

Another way is to enroll in Toastmasters and deliberately push out your "emotional communication" comfort zone.

Another way is to take a beginning acting class.

They do all kinds of exercises in those types of class to help you destroy your comfort zone.

OP is in Italy, all he needs to do is step outside.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So, how can we make the idea of speaking emotionally more concrete and practical?


The only clear contrast you can rely on is hearing how a technician or scientist speaks, they talk about information without any emotional tone.

Your goal is for women to see you as a LOVER, right? Not a girl friend or gay male pal. If that's the case, DO NOT be overly emotional when speaking. Getting easily riled up in a conversation is something women do. If you doubt me, go watch a few episodes of Pretty Little Liars, True Blood, or any other TV show aimed at a female demographic. You'll notice a recurrent theme in these shows, aside from the characters wearing clothes and living in homes which far exceed the salaries they'd be pulling down in RL:

Almost NO ONE in them maintains their composure. Ever. Flipping out over spilt milk is guaranteed to occur at least 15 times per episode. That's the feminine way of moving through the world

 

[jhonny9546]

He's in Italy—he just has to step outside.

Most people here carry generational trauma.
Their fathers didn’t do a good job raising them.
They’ve grown into big kids, emotionally speaking.

So, you’re left with two options: either you become like them, or you look for different role models—mature men who can show a better way.

Almost no one in those shows keeps their composure. Ever. Meltdowns over spilled milk happen at least 15 times an episode. That’s a feminine way of moving through life.

You've basically described the average Italian.
Maybe not 15 times a day, but definitely five.
So how are these men still considered attractive?
They’re bonded to dramatic women—women who have unresolved trauma.
And when you look at how those men were raised, and how the women saw their own parents' relationship dynamics, it makes sense.

Here's a video that shows how theatrical Italian behavior can be:

It's hilarious. Italians have a great sense of humor, but they can be incredibly childish, too.

And just look at how the women aren’t in their feminine energy.
We were raised by "strong" women and passive, complaining fathers.
And my generation still repeats that pattern.

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Now you want to grow and show off as mature men here in italy?
Good luck! You will just be seen as a black sheep in a sea of white sheeps


This is the modern Italian funny person

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Now you want to grow and show off as mature men here in italy?
Good luck! You will just be seen as a black sheep in a sea of white sheeps

Thats the whole point brother!

You want to be different then the masses, you want to stand out. You dont want to be amongst 30.000.000 white sheep, doing what they do, reaping what they sow.

I mean, i get where you come from. I am in Italy for vacation every year since 40 years.
I see there is a certain dominance and assertiveness in women over their men in general. "Mamma" is telling what goes.

All the more reason to be different and break the cycle your forefathers repeated again and again.

I mean even in Italy there must have been sold millions of copies of 50 shades of grey.

The fantasy of the strong dominant man is born into womens heads. Find some of the more submissive women in your country and treat them accordingly.

This would make your life so much more easy compared to being just another white sheep that is going to be bossed around by his woman for life.

Cant you see brother?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I mean even in Italy there must have been sold millions of copies of 50 shades of grey.

The 365 Days series takes place in Italy

 

[Gamisch]

There are many interesting topics about how to become a man of value, and there are also clear, actionable steps to do so, like lifting weights, eating well, going out to specific places, dressing well, maintaining good hygiene, and so on.


These are simple, concrete steps that anyone can take.


But when it comes to speaking with emotion, it’s different. There aren’t really "action steps" or "measurable feedback" like there are with weight training. Instead, it’s hard to even understand what it really means — it feels abstract.


So, how can we make the idea of speaking emotionally more concrete and practical?


The only clear contrast you can rely on is hearing how a technician or scientist speaks, they talk about information without any emotional tone.

You don't

Speaking " emotionally " is one of the weakest traits a man can have. You basically lost by soon as you raise your voice and thus speak on a higher pitch. Your emotional outburst should be as minimal like the moments other ( inc women) see you cry

imagine a man being upset because...something he tries to fix doesn't work. His woman will smirk while she walks away and says" I'll let you be".

Now imagine a woman in the same scenario. Now she expects her man to comfort her and possibly help and maybe even fix her problem.


You gotta come to terms with the fact that you are a man ,and nobody will "just" love you like they love children and women( and sometimes even pets).

Yes those are big words. But they are true to some extent.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Most people here carry generational trauma.
Their fathers didn’t do a good job raising them.
They’ve grown into big kids, emotionally speaking.

Welcome to the human race, hoss!!! You're really not that special. Classes in adulting are now being springing up across The Post-Industrial West

Don't hesitate to attend one

 

[BillyPilgrim]

^ That girl needs her boobs adulted ^

 

[BaronOfHair]

You gotta come to terms with the fact that you are a man ,and nobody will "just" love you like they love children and women( and sometimes even pets).

Yes those are big words. But they are true to some extent.

Frankly, not even all kids are as loved as others. Recall our own school days:

The staff wasn't especially warm to all the kids, and quite a few kids(some of us here may have been one. I sure as hell was)weren't especially easy to love

Same with women... Most gals will never be venerated the way 90s Cindy Crawford and Jen Anniston or present-day Sydney Sweeney is. And even women who reach these heights will only enjoy that level of veneration for a VERY short time, and best have talent to fall back, once their sparkle begins to fade

We ALL have to exert effort, in order to get our needs and desires met

 

[BaronOfHair]

And when you look at how those men were raised, and how the women saw their own parents' relationship dynamics, it makes sense.

And contrary to what we so often hear around The Manosphere, this isn't a remotely modern problem... Go back and watch Rebel Without A Cause, if you doubt me. James Dean acting out in reaction to his shrewish mother and spineless father is a central theme of the story, and this was back in The 1950s

It's a very serious problem, and it's also hardly one that's insurmountable. Men have been pondering the question "How do I stop being a child, and become a man?", since the beginning of recorded history

 

[BillyPilgrim]

And contrary to what we so often hear around The Manosphere, this isn't a remotely modern problem... Go back and watch Rebel Without A Cause, if you doubt me. James Dean acting out in reaction to his shrewish mother and spineless father is a central theme of the story, and this was back in The 1950s

It's a very serious problem, and it's also hardly one that's insurmountable. Men have been pondering the question "How do I stop being a child, and become a man?", since the beginning of recorded history

The Manipulated Man - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Barrister]

I’ll say I disagree to an extent that men should never speak emotionally. Speaking emotionally but effectively is a true talent and can really let you win over people. In fact, there have been some very powerful men (some of them completely morally bankrupt) who were masters at emotional speech and it was partly what catapulted them into power. In the vein of public speaking it has its place and can be a game changer.

All that said, I get the feeling OP is more referencing this in the dating world. Here I’ll agree that men 99% of the time need to be cool headed and NOT be in an emotional mindset when speaking to a woman. 1 on 1 being “emotional” generally only gets you playing her game and thus, in trouble in your relationship. Women wil tell you they want a man “who isn’t afraid to show his feelings,” but this is 100% pure nonsense when it comes to what she is attracted to. Society has planted this silly notion in women’s minds which goes completely against their nature.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I’ll say I disagree to an extent that men should never speak emotionally

As has been said throughout this thread, the key here is to not be OVERLY emotional

 

[jhonny9546]

Your emotional outburst should be as minimal

Yes!
Given this, there are friends in LTRs who behave like this:

imagine a man being upset because...something he tries to fix doesn't work.

His woman will smirk while she walks away and says "I'll let you be".

I have plenty of examples exactly like this.
Just to mention one: they were booking a trip, with luggage and everything, using their phone.
I couldn’t stand hearing their conversation. The man was having little "outbursts" every 10 seconds while they were choosing luggage and setting up time off.
His wife was just standing there, smiling at every outburst he had.
It took them 30 minutes to do something that should have taken 3.
The more he had those outbursts, the more she laughed.
These outbursts ranged from frustration to the kind of behavior you saw in the video I posted.
These men really act childishly, and still, it’s hard to understand how they manage to stay in those LTRs.

Men have been pondering the question "How do I stop being a child, and become a man?", since the beginning of recorded history