"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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making contacts in the gymnasium

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I have not been too comfortable starting a fresh conversation with a stranger, but once I get going I can easily turn it into a good relationship. I recently joined a new gym, and lots of guys come to work out there, i would just like to develop friendly relations with them, but as i said i am not too good at starting fresh conversations, any suggestions you guys would like to give to help build friendly relations with guys out there, and make my gym time more pleasurable?.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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gav

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if it's a big gym, it's hard. a LOT easier if it's small because you're almost forced into talking with the people there

wherever you're at, you can always ask guys if they'd spot you. then after they're done spotting you, you can spot them or whatever. ask how their workout's going. like you said, after initial contact it's easy.

spotting = watching over you so that when you come to failure, they can take the weight off you
 

wolfie

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Ask for training advice. Most guys are always glad to give you tips on training. Then you ask them how long they've been training for. Then you discuss training. This is the AFC style of socialising in the gym, but it works :D
 

Engetsu

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Try not to come on too strong at first and don't think this is like a date where you're questioning the girl and spitting what she says right back at her. Just be very laid back and relax.
 

ScrewIt

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i go to a small gym...but that gym probably has hundreds of members already. every time i go i see about the same ppl more or less.

Dont really see a point in talkin to the guys there. other than the gym staff/manager im cool and talk with.

how do you hook up with a girl in the gym w/o seeming like you're hitting on her?? it's tough. i mean if u talk to her, it would seem pretty obvious. girls check me out as i walk by, but other than that i cant see where their eyes are staring, cuz i dont wear my glasses in the gym.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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thanks gav, wolfie, engetsu, and screw it, some very valuable advice indeed.
screw it, how about noticing the girl while she is excercising to pick up some flaws, and then suggesting her on how she can improve ?
 

EternalBachelor

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Oh no. Correcting a girl's form is the biggest mistake you could make and will certainly not endear her to you. She will find it patronising and will not be grateful.

A better method would be to compliment her and ask her about her training program etc. training goals.
 

ChesterB

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How do you get to the gym and what do you do there?

I usually go by bus and do martial arts courses.
If you do similar things (i.e. courses with a set end time), you can talk to people after the course in the bus. To guys you can talk in the locker room as well.
 

gav

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Originally posted by EternalBachelor
Oh no. Correcting a girl's form is the biggest mistake you could make and will certainly not endear her to you. She will find it patronising and will not be grateful.

A better method would be to compliment her and ask her about her training program etc. training goals.
i'd say correcting their form is all good. you get the opportunity for some easy kino, just like showin em how to play golf; you can tease em about how they look like they're stiff and need oiled up a bit

better method...compliment? well maybe one somewhere in the convo, but not a starter

there's a difference between making friends with guys at the gym and chatting a girl up.

making friends with guys: you talk about boring stuff that their friends would talk to them about...like their workout programme etc

chatting up a girl: you want to show her that you are more exciting than all the other chumps and nice guys around her. She can easily talk to her friends about her workout programme.

c&f - that's more like it...i'd help you out, but since i'm so good i'd need something in return first, like a massage
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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