Major obstacle!

[line_in_the_sand]

I feel I have only one obstacle that stops me from being:
- good with women
- a good salesman
- a person with perceived high sosical skills

I'm so f##king slow and unimaginative when it comes to conversations. This is, for example, what happens when I try to talk to a girl in a bar:
Me: (walks up to woman). Hi.
She: Hello (smiles).
Me: So...um...wazzup?
She: Oh, just I'm just having a couple of drinks and relaxing, how about you?
Me: Umm...yeah, it's relaxing to drink.
She: But I must talk to my friend now, see ya. (translated: you're boring, bye)

I'm slow, and I can't come up with conversation topics. I have asked a similar question of the forum earlier, and it helped a little to focus on things around me for topics, but I often ended up talking about the wall, the furniture and the floor :cuss: , so...I don't know. If ever, I find out what I SHOULD have said 10 minutes - 2 weeks later. :crazy:

Can these skills be learned, or do I need a different approach?

 

[flyinshark]

Obviously, your fear of blanking during a conversation with a girl is reducing your self-esteem during pick-ups. You must find a way to relax more, and not feel stressed when you have a conversation with a girl.

Are you funny? If you are, then use this to your advantage by making her laugh and keep doing it. Everytime she will laugh you will get a boost of confidence and this will help you keep going with a positive attitude.

Do you have some girl friends? If you do, then spend more time with them, just because they are women and you will get to practice your conversation skills with them.

Are you good looking? If you are, then keep this in mind when talking to a new girl. Try to seduce her with your eyes and whenever there is an awkward silence try to stay calm and imagine that your looks alone will keep you interesting.

I hope this helps.

 

[Panda 2000]

I've had that happen sometimes too, out of fear of blanking out, like shark said. I am usually a pretty good conversationalist normally, sometimes I even fool people that I'm funny and conversations go well unless I feel I *have* to make the conversations go well. Then instead of getting associations, sparking up topics you just think about the conversation and, ironically, fail at it.
A good trick I've found is that you don't have to worry about staying on topic or transitioning from one aspect of conversation to another too much. A good response to someone saying that they're having a drink and relaxing could be anything, including asking them how their day was, saying something about some good music that you heard etc.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Hoes love talking about themselves more than anything else as well as useless,trivial stuff like movies and muzik non-stop,other girls,boysclubs,ect...

If I were to breakdown my last 100 hours of conversation with women.I'd have to deduce that nine out of then women are borderline retarded.

Seriously, slow people have more subject matter & deeper thoughts then most women.

 

[line_in_the_sand]

Thank you for your replies. I will try to put into practice some of your suggestions and see if I can move up a level in conversation skills.