Johnny Alias
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2013
- Messages
- 219
- Reaction score
- 27
Been almost 80 days.
Heard she was in hospital with major abdominal pain. This would third time in a year. Pretty sure it's pancreatitis from all her drinking.
Shouldn't care but I do. Felt the urge to reach out and just let her know I'm here.
She'd fvcking laugh at that with her bf.
Four years we were together. Therapist and I fairly sure she's BPD/HPD.
I think she's dying slowly but surely. For real. 43 years of partying and still going strong. Smoking, pounding booze, weed, coke, and painkillers. And to think I wanted to turn a ho into a housewife. Women like this can't shut off their addictions... Ever.
Decided to go solo for a while. Spinning plates was just delaying the pain. Will still occasionally but need to focus on getting my **** together and *****es take up lots of time. Therapy, gym, travel. These are helping put my self esteem back together after she ripped it apart with her screaming and childlike behavior.
She's been asking about me too. Not sure if it was for curiosity's sake or because she needs a backup plan. And why do I care? Why? Because I loved someone who is incapable of the real deal. Also wanted to fix all her problems and turn her into a real person. She's not. Will never be. Not my problem. Urge to save her from herself is still wayyyy too strong.
Might be a Xanax day. Have to tune her out but god it's hard. Just dreamed about her all night. Damn.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Heard she was in hospital with major abdominal pain. This would third time in a year. Pretty sure it's pancreatitis from all her drinking.
Shouldn't care but I do. Felt the urge to reach out and just let her know I'm here.
She'd fvcking laugh at that with her bf.
Four years we were together. Therapist and I fairly sure she's BPD/HPD.
I think she's dying slowly but surely. For real. 43 years of partying and still going strong. Smoking, pounding booze, weed, coke, and painkillers. And to think I wanted to turn a ho into a housewife. Women like this can't shut off their addictions... Ever.
Decided to go solo for a while. Spinning plates was just delaying the pain. Will still occasionally but need to focus on getting my **** together and *****es take up lots of time. Therapy, gym, travel. These are helping put my self esteem back together after she ripped it apart with her screaming and childlike behavior.
She's been asking about me too. Not sure if it was for curiosity's sake or because she needs a backup plan. And why do I care? Why? Because I loved someone who is incapable of the real deal. Also wanted to fix all her problems and turn her into a real person. She's not. Will never be. Not my problem. Urge to save her from herself is still wayyyy too strong.
Might be a Xanax day. Have to tune her out but god it's hard. Just dreamed about her all night. Damn.
Thanks for letting me vent.
