"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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maintaing attraction without presence (question)

governor

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attraction without presence?

Hey everyone.
I've been in a relationship with a real catch (9+, killer personality) for a couple of months. She's practically in love with me, but not in the creepy, stalker sort of way! she's off to Italy for a year, and we live in New Zealand. i'm wondering if it is at all possible to maintain attraction, without me being there physically. obviously we'll be emailing etc, but is there a way i can go about keeping her interested?
i wouldn't mind starting something up again when she comes home.
some responses would be greatly appreciated!
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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governor

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ahh...an option i had not thought of! thanks! haha.
but seriously ideas from knowledgeable djuaners?
 

Dante1a

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Well, the best thing to do is move on with your life (as I'm sure you know) and when you talk with her, be C&F and every now and then say something shockingly romantic to her.

If she meets a guy there and stops calling you for a little while..that's actually good...because you're not a friend, your a romantic interest.

Here's an example of a text I sent a girl that I'm kind of in the same situation with.

She wrote "I'm so glad monday is over!"

I wrote "Don't look now, you sound like a corperate automaton. But you are still as beautiful as a day in spring."

Guess who she called when she was drunk that night. lol..then I just laugh it off and make fun of her.
 

governor

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yeah man, sounds good.
but i (stupidly) forgot to mention that she has been a very good friend for like 3 years before we decided to go out. it wasnt a LJBF thing, we were interested in other people. then she tells me she's liked me for ages so i think 'why not give it a try?' so we did, and it's been going real good.
what i mean is, when she comes back, we are still going to be good friends, but i wouldn't mind being where we are now.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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