Don't read too much into it. The statement was designed to help people stop being people-pleasers and caring too much about what other people think. Women, being empathetic by nature, are predisposed to being supportive of others to the point of being used and taken advantage of. My GF's mother, for example, constantly b*tches and moans about her whole life's woes to my GF and my GF hates it but feels some kind of responsibility to listen to her mother complain. So the statement "put yourself first" is meant to help women (and men, to a lesser extent) feel empowered to say "no" to people who are taking advantage of them and dragging them down with their emotional burdens. This has positive impacts for you because a woman who is being dragged down by the needs of others will be less psychologically healthy and happy - she will be more anxious and exhausted and emotional, and this all has negative consequences for you.
The danger in the spreading of this "put yourself first" messaging is:
- Really, REALLY stupid women: They hear it and think it means they should be 100% selfish
- Narcissistic women: They are already selfish and already don't put other's needs over their own, so they take the statement as license to consider the needs of others even LESS than they already do
The statement doesn't mean a woman shouldn't do things for her man but certain women might interpret it that way. Generally, a woman who is predisposed to being a people-pleaser and an empath (as most women are), is not in much danger of taking this advice the wrong way. She should be somewhere in the middle of the spectrum - most women are too far to the people-pleaser side, so this advice is aimed at moving her more to center.
Lastly, don't worry about what she says. Judge her by her actions. There is nothing wrong with her saying this on IG, but if her actions toward you change in a negative way, then that is what you worry about.
