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LTRs with HB 8+

Barrister

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This was mentioned in another thread, but has anyone here had success dating a really great looking woman long term? I believe in another thread @Dash Riprock mentioned if you want an LTR, try to go for a HB 7. This is just the right mix of good looks but they aren't carrying around baggage from being treated like they are the center of the universe their whole lives like with the HBs 8+.

I recently ended a LTR with a HB 8/8.5. It was a constant struggle. I wouldn't say she was a narcissist but many narcissistic qualities that made being with her in the long term extremely difficult. I realize this is completely anecdotal though.

I realize there's probably a few "unicorns" out there -- HB 8+ and actually is well grounded. Anyone run across one?
 

oc16

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This was mentioned in another thread, but has anyone here had success dating a really great looking woman long term? I believe in another thread @Dash Riprock mentioned if you want an LTR, try to go for a HB 7. This is just the right mix of good looks but they aren't carrying around baggage from being treated like they are the center of the universe their whole lives like with the HBs 8+.

I recently ended a LTR with a HB 8/8.5. It was a constant struggle. I wouldn't say she was a narcissist but many narcissistic qualities that made being with her in the long term extremely difficult. I realize this is completely anecdotal though.

I realize there's probably a few "unicorns" out there -- HB 8+ and actually is well grounded. Anyone run across one?
Yeah, I think a HB 7 or 7.5 is perfect. Good looking enough, but not smoking hot where she will be getting stared at/hit on constantly.
 

lamath

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Im not experience enough to know if what said before is right or not,i do think that what said earlier sounds right.
However i try to see things in an other way women i find attractive and the one i dont, then i judge them in their character and temperament.

Obv its sometime very hard to not get distracted and forget things with 8+
 

lamath

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If you like her looks fine. Varies 7-9 whatever but the biggest factor in all this LTR stuff is BEHAVIOR.
I keep saying this. Behavior and how she treats you.
Does she do what you tell her when that time comes?
Is she growing and including you in her life experience?
Not this girls night out shyt or you cant come to my families with me yadda yadda.
If she is a career girl. Does she include you in that ecperience.

Behavior and respect. I dgaf what your dealing with in your own scale.
Submission is key
Judging on behavior regarless of look.
This is how you deal with them
 

zekko

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Judging on behavior regarless of look.
Sure. But IMO the question is about whether or not there are patterns of behavior that can be predicted.
 

lamath

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Sure. But IMO the question is about whether or not there are patterns of behavior that can be predicted.
Harder to predict imo
Because its very dependant on her attraction level. I think pre selection for women might actually be useful, for example when you know some of her friend, same social circle you can have feed back on how aquintance and common firend see her.
 

zekko

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Harder to predict imo
Because its very dependant on her attraction level.
When I say predictions, I really mean general tendencies that can be observed. Because there are no hard and fast rules, everyone is different.

You're right her behavior is largely dependent on attraction level, but the problem here is that attraction level can vary over time, especially for women. The problem with exceptionally attractive women is that IMO they are more apt to lose attraction over time, just because they have so many options. There are always new shiny options pulling up alongside them that can distract them.
 

Barrister

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When I say predictions, I really mean general tendencies that can be observed. Because there are no hard and fast rules, everyone is different.

You're right her behavior is largely dependent on attraction level, but the problem here is that attraction level can vary over time, especially for women. The problem with exceptionally attractive women is that IMO they are more apt to lose attraction over time, just because they have so many options. There are always new shiny options pulling up alongside them that can distract them.
Agreed. They tend to have insane numbers of orbiters. Which is highly obnoxious dealing with if you’re in an LTR. You really can’t do anything except act like it doesn’t matter.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I’ve been dating an 8 for about 5 months now. It has been a struggle. A lot of power struggles, insecurity, and jealousy on her side. What has helped me keep it together is to draw boundaries, not let her try to gas-light me into thinking my boundaries are wrong, and remember the fact that all women will be a pain in the ass. It is just their nature. They want to feel your masculine energy and they do this by testing you. If you can't handle that then you need to be a monk or just spin plates. If the testing gets disrespectful or makes it really lame to be with her in the particular moment, that's when I draw the boundary and tell her if she keeps it up I will leave (not saying leave the relationship - unless it gets to that point - just saying leave what we are doing... IE hanging at her house or mine).

The worst thing you can do is be weak with a woman like that. You need to be strong, confident, stand your ground, but also be understanding. It can be difficult to find the balance. One thing that helps is to know what your boundaries are and be sure you are willing to walk away and never look back if she crosses them beyond a certain point.
 

Barrister

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I’ve been dating an 8 for about 5 months now. It has been a struggle. A lot of power struggles, insecurity, and jealousy on her side. What has helped me keep it together is to draw boundaries, not let her try to gas-light me into thinking my boundaries are wrong, and remember the fact that all women will be a pain in the ass. It is just their nature. They want to feel your masculine energy and they do this by testing you. If you can't handle that then you need to be a monk or just spin plates. If the testing gets disrespectful or makes it really lame to be with her in the particular moment, that's when I draw the boundary and tell her if she keeps it up I will leave (not saying leave the relationship - unless it gets to that point - just saying leave what we are doing... IE hanging at her house or mine).

The worst thing you can do is be weak with a woman like that. You need to be strong, confident, stand your ground, but also be understanding. It can be difficult to find the balance. One thing that helps is to know what your boundaries are and be sure you are willing to walk away and never look back if she crosses them beyond a certain point.
This was my problem - I feel like I was pretty good about setting the boundaries. But the boundaries were (eventually) constantly being crossed despite me being clear with what was NOT OK to continue to do. Eventually, I just had to exit because there was no alternative if I was going to maintain respect (and self-respect). Despite the good looks there is a point where it isn't worth the drawbacks and enough is enough.
 

Lookatu

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I don't know how many of you been in a LTR that lasted more than 5 years with a HB8. We need to specify what LTR is to people.

What I will say is in addition to her behavior on treating everyone around you including you, look at how hard she has to work to maintain her appearance. Because I guarantee you, if you guys last a few years, she's gonna start getting lazy and start letting things slip.

That's why I tend to go for the gals that have some form of natural beauty where they can look mostly the same in the morning and don't have to rely on having a $500 makeup monthly budget and taking an hour to get ready everytime.

This also goes for fitness, is this a gal that HAS to workout everyday or she will get fat? Or does she have the genetics to eat a hamburger and workout once or twice a week and that could even be optional?

Also if you are approaching LTR and there's a possiblity that she maybe a lifelong partner or marriage even, look at her genetics and her mom/dad. How are they health and look wise for their age?

Obviously these traits only apply to wanting or having the intent of a LTR with a gal.

Remember fellas, LTR = Marathon. There's a lot that can happen down the road. Just don't focus so much on the shiny dangling carrot in front of you. That is short term thinking...
 

Lynx nkaf

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If you like her looks fine. Varies 7-9 whatever but the biggest factor in all this LTR stuff is BEHAVIOR.
I keep saying this. Behavior and how she treats you.
Does she do what you tell her when that time comes?
Is she growing and including you in her life experience?
Not this girls night out shyt or you cant come to my families with me yadda yadda.
If she is a career girl. Does she include you in that ecperience.

Behavior and respect. I dgaf what your dealing with in your own scale.
Submission is key
very good, it affects the whole relationship, you're right
 

BeExcellent

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Agree strongly with @Lookatu above. Natural beauty is important. Can she be ready to go in 10 minutes by brushing out her hair, putting on a quick dusting of powder, mascara & lip gloss?

Does she have to fight an endomorphic body type or is she mesomorph (athlete) or ectomorph (naturally thin) ? Body type is genetic. What are her lifestyle habits? If she eats clean most of the time she’ll be more healthy after 20 years and having some children.

As we age genetics are certainly a factor but so too are lifestyle habits. A hard drinking chain smoking siren at 25 is going to look horrible at 45 unless she gets a serious handle on her lifestyle and health habits. Women who drink beer and eat pizza and ice cream and junk are going to gain weight at some point.

A real LTR is measured in years, not months. Behavior I agree is key no matter how objectively hot a woman is. But for an LTR you want a woman who is beautiful in your estimation. Real beauty is as much about how a woman is on the inside...which has a funny way of elevating her appearance on the outside.

I’m lucky. I got good genetics and mesomorph body type to work with. But I’m also disciplined about my health. I can eat properly and work out sporadically and stay at 115 lbs. I also get plenty of sleep and have an upbeat positive attitude. I’m 51 and still turn heads easily. I also have confidence and good posture. Not bad for middle age after 3 children. I still rock a bikini.

The tough thing for the young men here is you cannot know 100% how that 25 year old hottie is going to age. Whereas men can take a look at me and see I have aged very well.

The thing to pay closest attention to in my opinion are habits around fitness and diet and substance use. All my life (for example) I’ve been an athlete. Soccer, running, lifting, hiking, etc. All my life. I’d be out til 2:30am in the clubs and then running a 5K or 10K race the next morning at 8am regularly in my 20s & 30s. Because I was racing the next day (I actually won a couple of these races here & there) I would have one drink, a soda or two and switch to water. After the race I’d often get a massage and then go home & crash. Nap for 4-5 hours. Then I’d be ready to go again the next night. I would have an occasional cigarette or cigar, but only rarely.

That kind of self discipline is very hard to find in a club girl. I had it as a club girl...but I’m the only one like me that I’ve ever known. Ever. Women with those kind of lifestyle choices generally are NOT club girls. So the young guys need to be realistic about the environment where they expect to meet hot well adjusted women who are going to age well. Med school or charity organizations come immediately to mind...

You can meet gorgeous women anywhere. But as you screen during early dating you pay attention to interest level & behavior. If you continue seeing her observe her habits. Observe if she is open to your positive influence on her habits. You cannot predict how a woman will age nor can you predict how child bearing will affect her physically but you can get a pretty good idea if you pay attention...enough to make an informed decision.
 

Barrister

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Agree strongly with @Lookatu above. Natural beauty is important. Can she be ready to go in 10 minutes by brushing out her hair, putting on a quick dusting of powder, mascara & lip gloss?

Does she have to fight an endomorphic body type or is she mesomorph (athlete) or ectomorph (naturally thin) ? Body type is genetic. What are her lifestyle habits? If she eats clean most of the time she’ll be more healthy after 20 years and having some children.

As we age genetics are certainly a factor but so too are lifestyle habits. A hard drinking chain smoking siren at 25 is going to look horrible at 45 unless she gets a serious handle on her lifestyle and health habits. Women who drink beer and eat pizza and ice cream and junk are going to gain weight at some point.

A real LTR is measured in years, not months. Behavior I agree is key no matter how objectively hot a woman is. But for an LTR you want a woman who is beautiful in your estimation. Real beauty is as much about how a woman is on the inside...which has a funny way of elevating her appearance on the outside.

I’m lucky. I got good genetics and mesomorph body type to work with. But I’m also disciplined about my health. I can eat properly and work out sporadically and stay at 115 lbs. I also get plenty of sleep and have an upbeat positive attitude. I’m 51 and still turn heads easily. I also have confidence and good posture. Not bad for middle age after 3 children. I still rock a bikini.

The tough thing for the young men here is you cannot know 100% how that 25 year old hottie is going to age. Whereas men can take a look at me and see I have aged very well.

The thing to pay closest attention to in my opinion are habits around fitness and diet and substance use. All my life (for example) I’ve been an athlete. Soccer, running, lifting, hiking, etc. All my life. I’d be out til 2:30am in the clubs and then running a 5K or 10K race the next morning at 8am regularly in my 20s & 30s. Because I was racing the next day (I actually won a couple of these races here & there) I would have one drink, a soda or two and switch to water. After the race I’d often get a massage and then go home & crash. Nap for 4-5 hours. Then I’d be ready to go again the next night. I would have an occasional cigarette or cigar, but only rarely.

That kind of self discipline is very hard to find in a club girl. I had it as a club girl...but I’m the only one like me that I’ve ever known. Ever. Women with those kind of lifestyle choices generally are NOT club girls. So the young guys need to be realistic about the environment where they expect to meet hot well adjusted women who are going to age well. Med school or charity organizations come immediately to mind...

You can meet gorgeous women anywhere. But as you screen during early dating you pay attention to interest level & behavior. If you continue seeing her observe her habits. Observe if she is open to your positive influence on her habits. You cannot predict how a woman will age nor can you predict how child bearing will affect her physically but you can get a pretty good idea if you pay attention...enough to make an informed decision.
Most of your post is regarding how well her looks are maintained (which I know is based upon @Lookatu 's post above). I would say most true HB 8+ are obviously genetically gifted to look the way they do. I don't consider a chick to be a HB 8+ if she has to apply two pounds of makeup to get her looking great.

I can say I have been in only one LTR with a HB 8+ (and it was 2 years -- so not a VERY long time) so my experience is somewhat limited. But it wasn't the physical traits she had that were at issue. She generally always looked great and watched her diet. It was the fact she got constant validation from her looks in every facet of her life -- work, friends, orbiters, etc. She was also very intelligent on top of it. I think it does something to the psyche when you are aware of how good you look. She enjoyed the attention and was seemingly addicted to it. She constantly took advantage of it with men (orbiters) she knew whether that was in a work or social setting to get what she wanted. She didn't set boundaries for it despite me letting her, at first, gently know I was not okay with some of what she considered to be normal behavior. That was the struggle -- not the physical aspect.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Agree strongly with @Lookatu above. Natural beauty is important. Can she be ready to go in 10 minutes by brushing out her hair, putting on a quick dusting of powder, mascara & lip gloss?

Does she have to fight an endomorphic body type or is she mesomorph (athlete) or ectomorph (naturally thin) ? Body type is genetic. What are her lifestyle habits? If she eats clean most of the time she’ll be more healthy after 20 years and having some children.

As we age genetics are certainly a factor but so too are lifestyle habits. A hard drinking chain smoking siren at 25 is going to look horrible at 45 unless she gets a serious handle on her lifestyle and health habits. Women who drink beer and eat pizza and ice cream and junk are going to gain weight at some point.

A real LTR is measured in years, not months. Behavior I agree is key no matter how objectively hot a woman is. But for an LTR you want a woman who is beautiful in your estimation. Real beauty is as much about how a woman is on the inside...which has a funny way of elevating her appearance on the outside.

I’m lucky. I got good genetics and mesomorph body type to work with. But I’m also disciplined about my health. I can eat properly and work out sporadically and stay at 115 lbs. I also get plenty of sleep and have an upbeat positive attitude. I’m 51 and still turn heads easily. I also have confidence and good posture. Not bad for middle age after 3 children. I still rock a bikini.

The tough thing for the young men here is you cannot know 100% how that 25 year old hottie is going to age. Whereas men can take a look at me and see I have aged very well.

The thing to pay closest attention to in my opinion are habits around fitness and diet and substance use. All my life (for example) I’ve been an athlete. Soccer, running, lifting, hiking, etc. All my life. I’d be out til 2:30am in the clubs and then running a 5K or 10K race the next morning at 8am regularly in my 20s & 30s. Because I was racing the next day (I actually won a couple of these races here & there) I would have one drink, a soda or two and switch to water. After the race I’d often get a massage and then go home & crash. Nap for 4-5 hours. Then I’d be ready to go again the next night. I would have an occasional cigarette or cigar, but only rarely.

That kind of self discipline is very hard to find in a club girl. I had it as a club girl...but I’m the only one like me that I’ve ever known. Ever. Women with those kind of lifestyle choices generally are NOT club girls. So the young guys need to be realistic about the environment where they expect to meet hot well adjusted women who are going to age well. Med school or charity organizations come immediately to mind...

You can meet gorgeous women anywhere. But as you screen during early dating you pay attention to interest level & behavior. If you continue seeing her observe her habits. Observe if she is open to your positive influence on her habits. You cannot predict how a woman will age nor can you predict how child bearing will affect her physically but you can get a pretty good idea if you pay attention...enough to make an informed decision.
they say look at her mother too, to gauge effects of age
 

Lookatu

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Guys, I'm going to go off on a little different direction with something I thought about while I was working out.

The way I am, I tend to look past the glimmer and glitz and see things in a more basic and pure way. It has been like this majority of my life. For example, I concentrate on the basics and the foundation of things. Like I look at the structure, plumbing, electricals of a house even though it may be ugly and manage to turn it into something desireable that people want to buy. This allowed me to flip a few houses as I have had this viewpoint/vision that a lot don't. I do the same for cars where I'll take a busted up car and fix it up. I buy em cheap and people wonder how I can afford to drive something like that.

I realized I have this same perspective in gals. A lot of HB8+ gals are already maxed out in looks and if you take that away, she can turn into a 6-7 easily. They can't go any further up usually but they CAN always go down in looks.

Then there are 6-7 gals that may concentrate more on stuff that matters to them like job, family, skills, hobbies, passions that make their looks second priority. These are the gals that aren't maxed out yet and still have potential.

Reason why I'm saying this is I've been out with a handful of plane jane type's before and they just needed a little bit of nudging, guidance, and compliments to get dolled up and they easily went up 1-2 points. They would want me to be happy with them so anytime we went anywhere nice, they made it a point to get made up and I had the whole room staring at her in public places. It definitely felt like arm candy at times. At the same time, I knew this wasn't a mission in her life to be vain or show off, or make looks her only mission in life so she had the nice attitude and manners that other good looking gals didn't possess. Kind of best of both worlds.

So do not discount any of the plane jane types out there as they can have potential. My other $.02
 

mrgoodstuff

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Guys, I'm going to go off on a little different direction with something I thought about while I was working out.

The way I am, I tend to look past the glimmer and glitz and see things in a more basic and pure way. It has been like this majority of my life. For example, I concentrate on the basics and the foundation of things. Like I look at the structure, plumbing, electricals of a house even though it may be ugly and manage to turn it into something desireable that people want to buy. This allowed me to flip a few houses as I have had this viewpoint/vision that a lot don't. I do the same for cars where I'll take a busted up car and fix it up. I buy em cheap and people wonder how I can afford to drive something like that.

I realized I have this same perspective in gals. A lot of HB8+ gals are already maxed out in looks and if you take that away, she can turn into a 6-7 easily. They can't go any further up usually but they CAN always go down in looks.

Then there are 6-7 gals that may concentrate more on stuff that matters to them like job, family, skills, hobbies, passions that make their looks second priority. These are the gals that aren't maxed out yet and still have potential.

Reason why I'm saying this is I've been out with a handful of plane jane type's before and they just needed a little bit of nudging, guidance, and compliments to get dolled up and they easily went up 1-2 points. They would want me to be happy with them so anytime we went anywhere nice, they made it a point to get made up and I had the whole room staring at her in public places. It definitely felt like arm candy at times. At the same time, I knew this wasn't a mission in her life to be vain or show off, or make looks her only mission in life so she had the nice attitude and manners that other good looking gals didn't possess. Kind of best of both worlds.

So do not discount any of the plane jane types out there as they can have potential. My other $.02
A "plain jane" or a "butterface", can have a banging body or some excellent snatch. You can't know that by looking at them. And by being less "vain" by design you will likely have a more loyal companion.
 

BeExcellent

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Most of your post is regarding how well her looks are maintained (which I know is based upon @Lookatu 's post above). I would say most true HB 8+ are obviously genetically gifted to look the way they do. I don't consider a chick to be a HB 8+ if she has to apply two pounds of makeup to get her looking great.

I can say I have been in only one LTR with a HB 8+ (and it was 2 years -- so not a VERY long time) so my experience is somewhat limited. But it wasn't the physical traits she had that were at issue. She generally always looked great and watched her diet. It was the fact she got constant validation from her looks in every facet of her life -- work, friends, orbiters, etc. She was also very intelligent on top of it. I think it does something to the psyche when you are aware of how good you look. She enjoyed the attention and was seemingly addicted to it. She constantly took advantage of it with men (orbiters) she knew whether that was in a work or social setting to get what she wanted. She didn't set boundaries for it despite me letting her, at first, gently know I was not okay with some of what she considered to be normal behavior. That was the struggle -- not the physical aspect.
I understand. I have said this in other places but I will say it again.

Objectively beautiful people receive attention All. The. Time. That’s simply the way it is. That isn’t going to stop until they are no longer objectively beautiful. This is the landscape they exist in. Women constantly deal with jealousy and attack (which may be often covert) from other women if they are beautiful. It’s happened to me...and it is worse if you also happen to be nice, competent and intelligent to boot.

From men there is always ogling. Much of it unwanted. But it’s the landscape a very beautiful woman exists in.

I remember one evening being in DFW airport on the way home from a business trip. I ran into an old colleague of mine, who is himself a gorgeous man, but happens to be gay. I’ll never forget something he said that evening. We chatted a bit & then we’re standing together & out of the blue he said, “BE? What is it like to know that EVERY man who walks by is checking you out?” It caught me completely off guard. I said well, I didn’t notice to be frank. He went on to explain that he’d been watching men look me up and down the entire time we were there (in a very high foot traffic airport) and I had no idea. I was dressed in a nice looking conservative pant suit, looked polished & professional but certainly wasn’t dressed to go out or garner attention. I just did. He wished men would check him out that way, and he chuckled.

So understand that this IS normal behavior to a very attractive person. It’s not about them taking advantage of something necessarily or using it necessarily (although some women do)...it just is. As noted in my anecdote I would simply screen it out or tune it out. There is no way to respond to all that (mostly unwanted) attention and so all those admirers necessarily become invisible.

Here’s why I’m telling you this. You @Barrister perceive her behavior from your vantage point. If you aren’t at the same level of objective attractiveness/attention receiving yourself you aren’t going to have the same frame of reference. You aren’t in her constant attention from everyone all the time landscape.

So when you try and set boundaries around her behavior based in YOUR perceptions rather than her reality you are going to create conflict. She will feel you are being insecure, restrictive, and unreasonable. She can’t change the way the world responds to her.

Trust me, I’ve tried. I quit wearing makeup, dressed down & tried not to call attention to myself. It didn’t matter. I met a man in NYC who I saw for about 9 months in my 20s on the 6 Train in the New York subway. He was quite handsome & I had noticed him but I did nothing. He noticed me too. He was on the train for 2 stops. After standing nearby for one stop he sat down next to me and said “You’re gorgeous. What is your number?” I gave it to him & he called immediately after leaving the train to be sure I didn’t give him a dummy number. I had on zero makeup and a simple blue man’s cashmere V neck sweater and jeans. In other words I was not made up or dressed up at all. He was (and still is) an accomplished dentist with both a private practice & a faculty appointment at NYU. He was also a playboy. But he hated for me to wear makeup, even to go out with him in New York. I digress.

Understand that trying to manage the attention a beautiful person gets is an impossible task. You can’t. That’s her job. The best way to exist with someone like that is to have confidence that such a person chooses to spend time with you. They are choosing you over all the other people who bombard them with attention. Reward that with trust and use Silence & Distance if you feel disrespected.

But check your own perceptions carefully.

One of the things I enjoyed about my recent ex was that he got as much female attention as I got male attention. We were able to relate that that’s just how it is and understood that about each other.

Just some thoughts.
 

Focal core

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If shes really into you she will be loyal, i have saveral hb8 including my ex wife, one on my younger days, 2 years, s3x like fvcking rabbits, ended, we grew apart each other, my crazY exbpd wife was another 8"s, whole lots of difference experience with more healthier attachment ones. Now i can have anyone i want.. Im looking for same emotional level wavelength for long term, perhaps the one im ended up for a long time.
 

Barrister

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I understand. I have said this in other places but I will say it again.

Objectively beautiful people receive attention All. The. Time. That’s simply the way it is. That isn’t going to stop until they are no longer objectively beautiful. This is the landscape they exist in. Women constantly deal with jealousy and attack (which may be often covert) from other women if they are beautiful. It’s happened to me...and it is worse if you also happen to be nice, competent and intelligent to boot.

From men there is always ogling. Much of it unwanted. But it’s the landscape a very beautiful woman exists in.

I remember one evening being in DFW airport on the way home from a business trip. I ran into an old colleague of mine, who is himself a gorgeous man, but happens to be gay. I’ll never forget something he said that evening. We chatted a bit & then we’re standing together & out of the blue he said, “BE? What is it like to know that EVERY man who walks by is checking you out?” It caught me completely off guard. I said well, I didn’t notice to be frank. He went on to explain that he’d been watching men look me up and down the entire time we were there (in a very high foot traffic airport) and I had no idea. I was dressed in a nice looking conservative pant suit, looked polished & professional but certainly wasn’t dressed to go out or garner attention. I just did. He wished men would check him out that way, and he chuckled.

So understand that this IS normal behavior to a very attractive person. It’s not about them taking advantage of something necessarily or using it necessarily (although some women do)...it just is. As noted in my anecdote I would simply screen it out or tune it out. There is no way to respond to all that (mostly unwanted) attention and so all those admirers necessarily become invisible.

Here’s why I’m telling you this. You @Barrister perceive her behavior from your vantage point. If you aren’t at the same level of objective attractiveness/attention receiving yourself you aren’t going to have the same frame of reference. You aren’t in her constant attention from everyone all the time landscape.

So when you try and set boundaries around her behavior based in YOUR perceptions rather than her reality you are going to create conflict. She will feel you are being insecure, restrictive, and unreasonable. She can’t change the way the world responds to her.

Trust me, I’ve tried. I quit wearing makeup, dressed down & tried not to call attention to myself. It didn’t matter. I met a man in NYC who I saw for about 9 months in my 20s on the 6 Train in the New York subway. He was quite handsome & I had noticed him but I did nothing. He noticed me too. He was on the train for 2 stops. After standing nearby for one stop he sat down next to me and said “You’re gorgeous. What is your number?” I gave it to him & he called immediately after leaving the train to be sure I didn’t give him a dummy number. I had on zero makeup and a simple blue man’s cashmere V neck sweater and jeans. In other words I was not made up or dressed up at all. He was (and still is) an accomplished dentist with both a private practice & a faculty appointment at NYU. He was also a playboy. But he hated for me to wear makeup, even to go out with him in New York. I digress.

Understand that trying to manage the attention a beautiful person gets is an impossible task. You can’t. That’s her job. The best way to exist with someone like that is to have confidence that such a person chooses to spend time with you. They are choosing you over all the other people who bombard them with attention. Reward that with trust and use Silence & Distance if you feel disrespected.

But check your own perceptions carefully.

One of the things I enjoyed about my recent ex was that he got as much female attention as I got male attention. We were able to relate that that’s just how it is and understood that about each other.

Just some thoughts.
To be clear, the behavior I referenced that I set boundaries for was not regarding attention she got just by being out on the street. Of course she always got checked out by every guy around when we went out and I would never hold that against a beautiful woman. That is just how guys are wired. If guys aren't checking out your woman you have an unattractive one. Simple as that.

However, she would encourage contact with orbiters and male colleagues that was generally unnecessary. For the most part I said nothing in regards to this. There were a few times that I felt like this crossed the line when she would have them specifically do favors for her knowing full well the only reason they agreed to do the favor for her was because they wanted her in bed. That I drew a line on.
 
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