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AbaGanov

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She is going to end things, 100%. I could sense it from her tone of voice (telegram voice note) , she wants to meet tomorrow to talk, this comes after a few days we haven't talked , she also mention the last couple of days were wild for her since her therapy session (she is holding varios trauma etc, I am guessing our things came up during that session and she realized we are not suitable or whatever).

It sucks but it is what it is, was just my turn. Now again she wants me to meet tomorrow and talk, I really don't want it to be too dramatic, just a quick finish so we can go on our separate ways, how should I approach this to make it as less dramatic as possible?
 

SW15

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You're realistic. I give you credit for that.

You could break up with her before she says the words. That way, you get credit as the one who ended things. Not sure how much that matters. I used the pre-emptive breakup once when I sensed a woman was days away from ending things with me.

If you don't live together and you don't have any possessions needing to be exchanged, you don't even have to do this in person.

Be proud of what happened. If you got 2-4 years out of this relationship with reasonably frequent sex, that's an achievement for the modern era. Also, you have no kids with her, so you'll never need to interact with her ever again. If you live in a metro area with a population of 500,000 or more, you'll probably go on with your life and never randomly run into her again.

You could just sit there emotionless and handle matters of practicality.

At this point, you now need to focus on you and your future relational needs.
 

stringpuller

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She is going to end things, 100%. I could sense it from her tone of voice (telegram voice note) , she wants to meet tomorrow to talk, this comes after a few days we haven't talked , she also mention the last couple of days were wild for her since her therapy session (she is holding varios trauma etc, I am guessing our things came up during that session and she realized we are not suitable or whatever).

It sucks but it is what it is, was just my turn. Now again she wants me to meet tomorrow and talk, I really don't want it to be too dramatic, just a quick finish so we can go on our separate ways, how should I approach this to make it as less dramatic as possible?
Break up with her first. Hate to be the bearer of bad news. Somones piping her brah.
Dont be nice. Do it by text even.
This is were the road forks for RP guys and the guys who are only RP aware. Aka locked in theory and no action. Do it. Thank us later.
I literally get excited when these oppurtunities come up these days. Haha
 

LARaiders85

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I think you are opening up yourselves emotionally to a creature that can't really be trusted to not lash out and abuse that power over you in some way. I'm not saying it's guaranteed that she will do it but she might not be able to resist it, and you never will learn the full truth. Protect your heart and do not allow anyone who has power to emotionally damage you to speak to you when you are emotionally vulnerable. It is just too risky. There is nothing mentally healthy about these types of ice cold conversations with women that are in their emotionally distant detached shell. Scary stuff. Tell her you know she wants to end things and you don't want to talk about it, then block.
 

AbaGanov

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I think you are opening up yourselves emotionally to a creature that can't really be trusted to not lash out and abuse that power over you in some way. I'm not saying it's guaranteed that she will do it but she might not be able to resist it, and you never will learn the full truth. Protect your heart and do not allow anyone who has power to emotionally damage you to speak to you when you are emotionally vulnerable. It is just too risky. There is nothing mentally healthy about these types of ice cold conversations with women that are in their emotionally distant detached shell. Scary stuff. Tell her you know she wants to end things and you don't want to talk about it, then block.
This is an Interesting take and make a lot of sense, I really don't want to be in that conversation and it won't help me in anyway, or even the opposite like you said, can do an emotional damage.

in a way I feel like I owe it to her? but do I really? I should think about myself, protecting myself, your advice is solid.
 

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Stoic

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I think you are opening up yourselves emotionally to a creature that can't really be trusted to not lash out and abuse that power over you in some way. I'm not saying it's guaranteed that she will do it but she might not be able to resist it, and you never will learn the full truth. Protect your heart and do not allow anyone who has power to emotionally damage you to speak to you when you are emotionally vulnerable. It is just too risky. There is nothing mentally healthy about these types of ice cold conversations with women that are in their emotionally distant detached shell. Scary stuff. Tell her you know she wants to end things and you don't want to talk about it, then block.
Very good and original advice. This is actually how I have done things, but you articulated it well.
 

samspade

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This is an Interesting take and make a lot of sense, I really don't want to be in that conversation and it won't help me in anyway, or even the opposite like you said, can do an emotional damage.

in a way I feel like I owe it to her? but do I really? I should think about myself, protecting myself, your advice is solid.
You owe yourself whatever the best outcome is for you. Sounds like you've already accepted it, so has she, there's nothing to process. Might as well save you both the hassle and break it off with her.
 

stringpuller

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in a way I feel like I owe it to her? but do I really?
No dont fall for that. You willfeel much better being the dumper.
The world is cruel. I didnt make those rules its just how it is.
The nicest I would be if you want to.
"We need to talk"
" I think you are right, Ive been thinking all night and I decided this is not working for me anymore" Good luck.
 

Stoic

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You have already taken a lot of the sting out of the break up since you know its coming and have accepted it.

I would say to her, that I see no purpose in meeting up. But that you wish her the best of luck. I know it's easier said than done. But do your best to think logically and not emotionally in these circumstances.
 

LARaiders85

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Very good and original advice. This is actually how I have done things, but you articulated it well.
You can only stare into those cold dead lifeless eyes so many times before you decide you don't want to do that anymore. Yuck. Much less replaying in your mind that conversation which is virtually always full of misdirection (or worse) about why you actually broke up to begin with.
 

DonJuanjr

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Don't give her the opportunity to lie to herself about why she's breaking up with you.
 

Zimbabwe

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Op just ignore her, hit up the bar and approach some new girls. Don't waste your time worrying about yesterdays trash.
 

Pan87

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Break up with her first. Hate to be the bearer of bad news. Somones piping her brah.
Dont be nice. Do it by text even.
This is were the road forks for RP guys and the guys who are only RP aware. Aka locked in theory and no action. Do it. Thank us later.
I literally get excited when these oppurtunities come up these days. Haha
Even better. Completely ghost her. Don't even tell her why. Don't answer her calls of texts. Ever.

Guaranteed to fvck her mind. Works every time.
 

SargeMaximus

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Interesting responses. When my ex ended things with me I was using it as a test for myself to see what would work and what wouldn’t. I 100% agree that there’s nothing to do at this point so end things as quickly as possible without seeming butthurt. A simple “actually we don’t need to meet, I assume you’re moving on and I agree. We’re not a good fit. Take care.” And then ghost. I wouldn’t block in case she tries to come back (my ex fwb did this countless times and tried to get back with me last week tbh) but also don’t fall for her trying to figure out how good of a spot you are in. Maybe block for 2 months then unblock but never message
 

Pan87

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Interesting responses. When my ex ended things with me I was using it as a test for myself to see what would work and what wouldn’t. I 100% agree that there’s nothing to do at this point so end things as quickly as possible without seeming butthurt. A simple “actually we don’t need to meet, I assume you’re moving on and I agree. We’re not a good fit. Take care.” And then ghost. I wouldn’t block in case she tries to come back (my ex fwb did this countless times and tried to get back with me last week tbh) but also don’t fall for her trying to figure out how good of a spot you are in. Maybe block for 2 months then unblock but never message
Yep. There's not much can be done if she's decided to end it. It usually means she's been planning it secretly for months. That's how women do it. So by the time she's saying "we need to talk" she has already broken up with the guy in her mind months ago.

The only thing that can be done is to fvck with her ego. You have to ghost before "the talk".

She'll obviously try to come back. But here's the big lesson. She's coming back purely for ego and to "win". She will dump the guy again at the right time.

Once a woman has decided to end it, it's gone forever. Even if she tries to come back.
 

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BadBoy89

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Now again she wants me to meet tomorrow and talk, I really don't want it to be too dramatic, just a quick finish so we can go on our separate ways, how should I approach this to make it as less dramatic as possible?
"I have a date tomorrow, can you text me?"
 

SW15

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Update: sent her a txt saying i don't want to meet, I wish her well and thanks for the good times. she replied that she understand bla bla bla

thanks guys for the useful advices, very happy I avoided that meeting
I like how you handled it being the one who officially broke up with her. You got to skip an uncomfortable meeting.
 

metalwater

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don't know you or her. you have a gut feeling she wants to break and evidence is the tone of voice asking for a meeting.

this is one of those "throw the baby out with the bathwater" times.

it can be just like you think, also few other reasons that it could be that would make you feel like crap for taking the hard-line.

just double down in your mind and go find out. if it's a break go away from her calmly like it's no big deal, be polite, detached, and quick. then do not initiate any communications and move on.

some chance that the issue is something else...

if you wanted to dump her anyway this is a perfect time, then do it. if you still like her, then go find out.
 
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