LTR: Lack of sex

[Treetz]

Lately I have an issue in my relationship.

My girlfriend and I are having a LTR for about 2 years now. Recently we bought a house and moved in together. In the beginning of our relationship the sex was good, almost everytime I saw her we had sex.

Now after we moved in together we had a busy time, going to work, studying and fixing the house. The sex games dropped to a zero point. After we where done with the house we had more time for each other and the sex seemed to get back to the previous point.

The last few months we are having sex like one or maybe two times a week.. because of this I am coming way to fast so the time we have sex it is for a small amount of time..

Nothing else changed though.. we are still having fun, doing nice things when we have time, she cooks stunning meals every day and makes a good breakfast when we are free together..

I know she aint cheating and I do not want to next her because I do believe you have to put some effort in a LTR but I just dont understand how this can/could happen... Anyone familiar with this situation or any thoughts??

Thanks!

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I know she aint cheating and I do not want to next her because I do believe you have to put some effort in a LTR but I just dont understand how this can/could happen... Anyone familiar with this situation or any thoughts??


Recently we bought a house and moved in together.

How are you going to next her after you bought a house WITH her??

Might as well get married at this point. Either way she'll get your house.

 

[Treetz]

We got a sort of contract wich will devide our stuff and house at a break up. So if I want to I could just walk away and still have my stuff together to start a life on my own. I always made sure that if she dumped me or cheated on me I would be able get back on my feet asap.

 

[NoMoreTapDancing]

Relationships just kind of go like that after a while...
If she's cooking you stunning meals, then she wants to keep you sweet because obviously that will keep a roof over her head. But there is a possibility that she is going elsewhere to get some on the side.

 

[Maurizio 2.0]

I don't think she's cheating. There's no reason for anyone to jump to that conclusion and unduly worry this guy.

Listen, I think you should just bring it up with her. There's no harm. Have you ever talked about why it's not as frequent? You might want to talk to her about switching things up with the sex, making things more interesting by taking it out of the bedroom.

She probably just doesn't feel as though she's as sexy in your eyes as she once was.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Things like this tend to happen when you're in an ltr and you move in together. Life gets busy and when you come home you just want to chill, some days. After being together for 2 years, and if you're both busy with work and such, I'd say 2 times a week is pretty normal.

I'm in an ltr with a great girl and we now live together and we have sex about 2-3 times a week... sometimes we go two weeks without it. Life just gets busy and when you're dating you tend to get physical every time you see each other... but once you move in together, you no longer have your "alone time" like you used to so things start to get less frequent just to give each other some space. As long as all the other stuff like good convos, and the little things that let you know there's "love" in the relationship are still present, you can rest assured that your just moving into a more mature relationship that becomes more about life companionship and less about sex.

 

[Da Realist]

It's because you're comfortable with each other. Sex before then was exciting because you were getting to know here and now its slowing down because you see her all the time. I say start exercising more to get your stamina back up and initiate things more often; if you get her seeing stars, she'll put out whenever you get home.

 

[Treetz]

Thank you guys for all the replies.

Like I said I know she isn't cheating on me. I really feel the reply Bad Ass Canadian posted. I have had the conversation with my girl about me wanting sex like everyday, she told me she is tired most of the time because of study and doing the household. Mostly in the weekends when we both have time to relax a little then we have good sex and Im happy again. Problem is that when we dont have sex in a week or so I really start to get frustraded and cant stop checking out hot chicks.. also I dont want to mastrubate every day while I got my girl in the same house...

I guess things are going that way when you get into an LTR...sometimes I just got the feeling Im settling for less, but then again if most of the LTR's go like this after a while maybe I just have to get a hold of myself and sort of accept the fact that the amount of sex is less when moving in together...

 

[SharinganUser]

Have you tried mixing things up?

 

[Treetz]

Have you tried mixing things up?

Well not in a major way... just not in bed all the time but in the leavingroom on the sofa.. But what would you do in a situation like this?

 

[MacAvoy]

I agree with CanadianBadAss as well. Its just life getting in the way. Try lightening her load up one day a week, cook her breakfast, cook supper, then maybe she'll be a little more rested that evening and you can enjoy your time together.

I also don't think she's cheating, otherwise she wouldn't have high IL and being doing a lot of the housework.

Maybe trying doing it in public washrooms or in the car at night. Anything random / spontaneous (romantic in her eyes).

 

[DonGorgon]

Yup same old story... LTR and the woman looses sex drive but the reality is that she does not loose her sex drive WHAT SHE LOOSES IS HER SEXUAL DESIRE FOR YOU! This happens when the lust and carnal desire have died off but the relationship is still very convenient financially and otherwise... and this point infidelity is the next logical progression.

 

[SharinganUser]

Well not in a major way... just not in bed all the time but in the leavingroom on the sofa.. But what would you do in a situation like this?

lol, all you do is change rooms? I guess there really is 69 ways to do it missionary stylie.

All joking aside, have you tried having spontaneous sex? How about something with the curtains open, or introduce a bit of role playing? Tie her up a little bit.

Hundreds of things you could do. Here's an idea that you should definitely try. You should buy a book on the kamasutra, that should do the trick.

 

[DonGorgon]

lol, all you do is change rooms? I guess there really is 69 ways to do it missionary stylie.

All joking aside, have you tried having spontaneous sex? How about something with the curtains open, or introduce a bit of role playing? Tie her up a little bit.

Hundreds of things you could do. Here's an idea that you should definitely try. You should buy a book on the kamasutra, that should do the trick.

When you find yourself thinking about that stuff after the sex has stopped it is already too late once its gone its gone.

 

[Treetz]

When you find yourself thinking about that stuff after the sex has stopped it is already too late once its gone its gone.

Well it is less spontanious but I dont think it is bad to think about it like that.. I bought the sex god method book but due to study I didnt had any time to read it all the way..

I know switching rooms isn't that exciting but we dont do alot outside the house so I try to make the best out of it.

But the question is can I get her sexual disire back for me or is this just a thing I have to accept...

 

[tick37]

You're too predictable and way too available. You have to add a mystery to the relationship before it gets worse or she tries to find that spark somewhere else. This is a product of living together/marriage, and it's all because availability and predictability.

 

[DonGorgon]

But the question is can I get her sexual disire back for me or is this just a thing I have to accept...

It is very unlikely but still possible.. she has to want to get it back...

 

[DonGorgon]

You're too predictable and way too available. You have to add a mystery to the relationship before it gets worse or she tries to find that spark somewhere else. This is a product of living together/marriage, and it's all because availability and predictability.

Its doomed by it's own nature... alas!

 

[Charm]

Sex TOYS. The more insane, the better. Search online for the craziest **** you can find. This will save your relationship, nothing else.

 

[lordson]

Thank you guys for all the replies.

Like I said I know she isn't cheating on me. I really feel the reply Bad Ass Canadian posted. I have had the conversation with my girl about me wanting sex like everyday, she told me she is tired most of the time because of study and doing the household. Mostly in the weekends when we both have time to relax a little then we have good sex and Im happy again. Problem is that when we dont have sex in a week or so I really start to get frustraded and cant stop checking out hot chicks.. also I dont want to mastrubate every day while I got my girl in the same house...

this is my situation to the T.

i've been in LTR for 2.5 years, and at first, sex 7-8 times a week for several months, then it fizzled to once a week if i'm lucky. and the testosterone builds up and i get super agro and frustrated and want to bang every chick i see in the mall, and when we do have sex it's all better again

its not just me, my gf talked to two of her friends. one engaged couple and one married couple. girls and guys are all the same. the guys always want sex 24/7 and the girls just sometimes don't feel like it

i'm at that point of our sex cycle where we havn't had sex for a while and i'm getting a bit tense again, damned testosterone. even contiplated going clubbing to find some chicks. bloody hell

hope that helps you understand theres nothing wrong with your relationship and all LTR's will descend to this eventually. Don't play any mind games with her by withholding sex so she wants it more, it won't work. I've tried everything mate, nothing works. Just get it when you can