"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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LTR i'm sucked in

kev me723

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ok... so it's been like 6 months-ish. I really do care about this girl, she's smoking hott, she's actually a great gf, she can't get enough of me, she's real cool, it's great bla bla. But I canNOT get her out of my head. I feel like a total afc, thinkin about this girl nonstop. I say things that sound softy, pvssy type stuff, but she eats it up, she loves it, i spose since we've been together for awhile.

Now i'm not being unrealistic, if she left out cold tonight I would be like k sucks, w/e I'm calling that other hott girl that is interested. It would really not be all that bad.

I'm really happy w/her right now, I'm totally content. She does NOT run my life and is NOT the most important part of it by any means.

But nonetheless i think about her more than i have about any other girl before... what to do, jus keep it goin?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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kev me723

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aside from this, btw, I actually start thinking/worrying about things like her talking to other guys, what she's doing etc. I really don't think she would ever cheat or even do anything to make me suspicious, because she knows I would be gone and she is deathly afraid of losing me, but I have been cheated on once before back in the afc days and it affects every single trust decision I make, and it has for a year and a half now, it can cut pretty deep.

Normally this sh*t doesn't bother me AT ALL, I could really care less, it's high school. But I don't know, does anyone know jack about ltr's around here?
 

Docs

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I have been cheated on once before back in the afc days and it affects every single trust decision I make
she is deathly afraid of losing me
Breathe! You'll be alright. You can't go on forever going "well what if she cheats on me". It's time you said "I'm going to not worry anymore. I have this awesome girlfriend, and even if she did cheat, it's not the end of my world. I'm happy and I'm going to enjoy every minute of my life, not worrying what could happen to it"
 

comic_relief

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I know a bit about LTR's and LDR's

First off, don't be insecure. It kills relationships.

Secondly, get rid of all the rules except your own.

Thirdly, its alright to think about your girl a lot but don't become obsessed with her and continue to spin plates. Just playful flirting (its in my nature to be like this) and such. Just in case anything happens you know you got back ups. It really does help with killing your desparation because then you can know that you will be fine.

Fourthly, relax.

comic_relief
 

THIAGO BRAZIL II

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you are probably young. Think that you have a carrer to build. You must learn other languages, you must read several books.. dont let years go by with a girl on your mind! One day she will go away and you spent so much time thinking about her!
Think about your plans! In a way it will be a good thing for her too, but first for you, if you get on a looongtr she will benefits from your attitude of thinking about your business first.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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LikRetsam

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What's wrong with liking your girlfriend a lot? She's your girlfriend! If you were thinking so much about a random chick, sure that's a problem. But this is not.
 

kev me723

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yeah we've actually had a little bit of friction the last couple days. I am almost positive it's because I'm not just relaxing like I usually do. I am going to admit I was wrong and stop arguing (if you've ever tried it with a woman it IS a dead end road) and pretty much just start to relax again, I'm going to actually have fun. Thanks boys I just needed to hear it to reinforce.
 

DJ4Real

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kev me723 said:
ok... so it's been like 6 months-ish. I really do care about this girl, she's smoking hott, she's actually a great gf, she can't get enough of me, she's real cool, it's great bla bla. But I canNOT get her out of my head. I feel like a total afc, thinkin about this girl nonstop. I say things that sound softy, pvssy type stuff, but she eats it up, she loves it, i spose since we've been together for awhile.

Now i'm not being unrealistic, if she left out cold tonight I would be like k sucks, w/e I'm calling that other hott girl that is interested. It would really not be all that bad.

I'm really happy w/her right now, I'm totally content. She does NOT run my life and is NOT the most important part of it by any means.

But nonetheless i think about her more than i have about any other girl before... what to do, jus keep it goin?

Don't think about her too much. Just be exciting and unpredictable...while at the same time, caring and such.

If you start acting like a wimp, she will lose respect for you.
 

shydude

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I kinda have a same problem!1 I got rejected by a girl and still cant stop thinking about her.. Lmao and she was 2 years older than me!!!!!!
 

kev me723

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dude.. i never got rejected, i actually have a reason to think about her, cuz she does the same thing with me haha.. but aaaanyway, judging by tonight, I have NOTHING to do with the words wussy, puss, wimp, afc, etc... TRUST ME ;) wow yeah so I'm just chillin now and I have stopped worrying, which she def. notced heheh and it's working great, so.. hell yeah keep mackin kids
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Kidd

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This isn't a problem in my opinion. Just enjoy it while it lasts man.
 
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