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LTR ended in trainweck - did I give her closure?

speed dawg

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Yes. That's my plan. I'm leaving for a sunnier country for a month and will in meantime also talk with a psychologist.

And over a woman like this with her notch count and level of crazy - that takes some decompartmentalization.

Do you mind elaborating?
Right here:

Ah. I think it’s both of it in this case. Lost virginity early on and then hanged out with a party crew and made a thing (she and her friend) of ****ing every weekend. Even contest who could **** as many as possible on a day.
It’s such a a shame, world losing a otherwise smart and hot female
Do you see the pedestal on which you have placed this gutter slvt?

I get it, they are captivating. They make you feel good, alive, whatever. It's one-itis, it's not real. Look at the facts about this girl. She's trash, and your insistance to save her signifies that you have some work to do on yourself, so you'll never be chewed up and spit out like this again.

If she is as hot as you say, I GUARANTEE you she's already got somebody else. She had the orbiters anyway, all she had to do was pick one. She probably hasn't found an alpha yet, else she wouldn't be contacting you. I would go into more detail but I won't....yet.
 

doubletwice

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Right here:


Do you see the pedestal on which you have placed this gutter slvt?

I get it, they are captivating. They make you feel good, alive, whatever. It's one-itis, it's not real. Look at the facts about this girl. She's trash, and your insistance to save her signifies that you have some work to do on yourself, so you'll never be chewed up and spit out like this again.

If she is as hot as you say, I GUARANTEE you she's already got somebody else. She had the orbiters anyway, all she had to do was pick one. She probably hasn't found an alpha yet, else she wouldn't be contacting you. I would go into more detail but I won't....yet.
Thank you for the reply, and you are correct. What do you mean with decompartmentalization.

she didn’t contact me for one week plus now, so I guess so.
 

bcude

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Ah. I think it’s both of it in this case. Lost virginity early on and then hanged out with a party crew and made a thing (she and her friend) of ****ing every weekend. Even contest who could **** as many as possible on a day.
It’s such a a shame, world losing a otherwise smart and hot female
Jesus christ, run forest run. This is not what i would file under quality partner or potential serious long-term girlfriend. She won't be able to pair bond with anyone anymore since experiences like this corrupts a female mind.
The only reason you think it's a shame is because you've strong feelings attached to her, which is just normal and a consequence of spending time together. I've been there myself with a single mother that's still haunting me.
That's why it's a good thing to learn to recognize the 'red flags' and try to not get emotionally attached before it's too late with women who show you these flags early.
You'll be fine eventually, don't worry.
 

doubletwice

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So she sent me a message right after midnight at NYE updating me about some stuff considering the abortionand that she finally bought an apartment And saying:

“Everything is fine with me, I’m alright. Everything feels good and I’m actually really happy! Thinking about you from time to time and despite everything I wanted to send you a happy new year message I hope you doing well and feeling fine”

yeye
 

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Bigpapa

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So she sent me a message right after midnight at NYE updating me about some stuff considering the abortionand that she finally bought an apartment And saying:

“Everything is fine with me, I’m alright. Everything feels good and I’m actually really happy! Thinking about you from time to time and despite everything I wanted to send you a happy new year message I hope you doing well and feeling fine”

yeye
She : “ things are ok “
The narrator : “ things were not ok”
 

doubletwice

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Of course.

I replied to her in the morning. Saying Im
Happy you finally bought a new apartment and hope you had a great evening. And asking in which area the apartment is located.. no reply..
 

doubletwice

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So. I've been better everyday.

When we were together she told me about some shady stuff about her landlord. I work as a freelance journalist and started to investigate it, I didn't get a newspaper hooked back in the summer.

But by chance, two news papers contacted me last week and I've been working on the story now, interviewing her neighbours and stuff. And it will be published as a bang in two weeks. Pretty nice win.


So she blocked me on FB a while ago, and I noticed (by chance) she unblocked me one week ago, and then she blocked me again.

Tonight I created a tinder profile with my real name and age and some random photos of a lamp and a tree. The first one that liked me was her. Why? I'm sure she knows it's me. But this is the strangest thing I ever seen.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Anyone in these type of relationships where you fight all the time and break up multiple times within a few months is only kidding themselves if they think this is something other than an enormous waste of time.

Learn from this and find someone that you don't need to be in fights with. If you seem to be in the same type of relationships all the time then I think it is time to look at yourself as being the main issue.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Just saw this thread. Read the first post and skimmed some of the rest. Please take the advice of others who advise you to stay far away from this girl. Nothing good of it will come for you. I can tell you are far too emotionally invested in her to be considering trying to plate her - it's not going to end well for you if you do that.... I mean, why are you repeatedly checking whether she has you blocked or unblocked on FB so often that you know when she's doing it? It means you are too invested.

Second, as far as giving closure goes - closure is something a person gives to themselves. You don't owe it to anyone and no one owes it to you. Most often when a relationship ends, you couldn't even give someone closure if you wanted to and tried to, because they simply won't accept the reasons you are giving them. The girl I just broke things off with after a year.... I tried to give her closure but it didn't work and just served as yet another reinforcement to the truth that you can't give someone closure. I clearly spelled out, in detail, in writing, everything she did that caused me to lose interest in her and realize that she would never change, and in response, she pushed back on it. She ignored the things she couldn't defend, focused on the things she thought she could, tried to gas-light me by claiming some of it never even happened, tried to say some of it was justified or didn't happen the way I described it, and tried to claim she would change some things that I had told her plenty of times before were boundaries for me but she crossed them anyway, not to mention she then tried to blame me for things and make me feel guilty about things I hadn't even done wrong. Maybe some women will accept your closure attempt, but the really unhealthy ones who are manipulative will never accept it. So never think you owe it to someone or that what you provided wasn't satisfactory enough for her, because nothing ever will be. Say your bit if you like, leave it at that, move on, and never look back.
 
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