"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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LTR advice needed

Royce

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Backstory:
I am at a point in my life where I have been seeing a girl (20yo) for over a year (ive known her for over 5). For about 6 months we have been long distance and while she seem's more in love with me than ever I partially have enjoyed the distance. I admit when it comes to relationships I have never had a good track record (fear of commitiment and tendency to cheat), but with her (or maybe I am just growing up) I feel sincere guilt over my actions. While I still activly go out and pickup, enjoy the hunt, and put forward my best effort; I consistently find that when closing the HB is pushing for it more than I. Now, I'm not the jealous type and trust my GF (funny seeing how I act). I guess I feel enough for my GF, I don't know, new territory for me.

So this is what I need advice on.
She has recently told me she is re-evaluating her life, and wants me to be in it more (dosn't like the distance). She plans to move to the state I'm currently in after July, restart school down here (possibly the same one I attend)- has even talked about moving in with me. She want's to get serious and settle down (not marriage but the long term engagement deal). Now I do care about her, and dont nessecarly think this is a bad thing (good to see she's growing up and taking her life more seriously), but I still like my independence and the whole commitment thing (for the long term) really gets to me.

Anyways, just wondering if anyone has had experience living with their LTR GF, how it went and ANY advice you could give.

Not looking to dump her and move on, believe it or not I actually have feelings for her and we've been through a lot together (something thats built trust I have not had with other relationships).

Thanks

-Rolls Royce
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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KontrollerX

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If she could move down there and get a place for herself and not move in with you that would be for the best.

Rollo has had some great posts about how relationships get destroyed by moving in with eachother much too soon.

The reason is the competitive fire is all too often extinguished because neither of you have a bit of fear about having to be at your best so that your partner doesn't leave you. Moving in together also creates a comfort and routine that many quickly get tired of. In short you two can begin to get fed up with eachother from having no time apart and no distance with which to miss eachother in.
 

Interceptor

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Do not move in together.
At your age you should be thinking about getting your life together and having a wide pallette of dating experiences.
Make sure you do not get as seriously involved just to make her happy.
You must make peace with the probability that she will not agree and end the relationship.
You need to be honest and tell her what you are feeling before she makes and big life changing decisions.
 

WC2

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Agreed, you are too young to move in with any chick at this point.

Not just because you should be dating other women well through your 20s, but because living with another women has a strange way of sneaking up on you. Sneaking up on you as in you'll

1. Get into stupid routines that will becoming boring and non-beneficial to yourself

2. Will be limited to expanding your horizons with not just other women, but in all aspects of life.

3. Get the man power sucked out of you from this day in and day out of being around each other so much.

You may have found a quality girl, fine. But 22 is such a young age to stop succeeding on your OWN. You don't really need to settle down at this point. If you were 30 then maybe I'd say hey, settling down isn't a bad option (if thats' what you want). But at this point in time, settling down will just slow down your ability to improve yourself.
 

Royce

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Hmm,

Yeah I have been thinking this over and I believe your right, this scares the **** out of me. God she's rushing me - I need to call her and straighten this out. She cant desicrate my bachelors pad...

-------

That didnt go well at all,
where's me papers
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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