"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Low IL or shyness?

Tantric

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2001
Messages
546
Reaction score
2
Location
Hollywood
I'm writing this thread for a friend as he doesn't have a CPU.

basically, a girl who he met was interested in him...yet she had a BF. Nothing happened between them, and soon she introduced him to her close friend.

He ended up really liking her, but not sure how to pivot from girl #1 to her best friend.

Anyway, he asked girl#2 out for coffee and she said she would love to go...then she asked if friend #1 could come. I guess she didn't know it was a "date" type thing. He clarified, then she smiled and again said, "yeah...i'd really love to"...

They were supposed to hook up at 5 pm last night and she flaked. Then around 7 pm, friend #1 called, and invited him out with them both...okaaaaayyyy????

He shows up and they are with all of their co-workers...so it was about 6 people. The girl he likes sat next to him, but pretty much ignored him all night. She didn't talk about anything with him and pretty much acted like he didn't exist. After a while when they were out smoking, she approached him and said, "i talked it over with friend #1 and she said it was okay that you and i go out for coffee...she has a BF anyway, so i had to set her straight on that too..."

After that, again, they sat down...no communication. he treied talking to her but she seemed to be in "girl-talk/gossip mode". He stepped out a few times for a smoke, and after the last time, when he got back, they were gone...yeah they were drinking, but not enough to NOT say goodbye, or say where they were going.

I personally don't think he was dissed completely yet, but it seems her IL low...if it is, then why ask freind #1 if it was okay?

hmmmm....

thoughts?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

SOLDIERM16

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2004
Messages
58
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
Los Angeles
Bone #1... then Bone #2..... then Bone her friends.... then #1 & 2
 

blienk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2003
Messages
543
Reaction score
0
Not only low interest, but why does he still want this girl? They left without even telling him? That's just disrespectful.
 

Seraph

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 9, 2003
Messages
206
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Va

He ended up really liking her, but not sure how to pivot from girl #1 to her best friend.

Anyway, he asked girl#2 out for coffee and she said she would love to go...then she asked if friend #1 could come. I guess she didn't know it was a "date" type thing. He clarified, then she smiled and again said, "yeah...i'd really love to"...

They were supposed to hook up at 5 pm last night and she flaked. Then around 7 pm, friend #1 called, and invited him out with them both...okaaaaayyyy????

---------

Boo. He would have been better off declining and saying that since #2 didn't show up at 5, he made other plans.

He shows up and they are with all of their co-workers...so it was about 6 people. The girl he likes sat next to him, but pretty much ignored him all night. She didn't talk about anything with him and pretty much acted like he didn't exist. After a while when they were out smoking, she approached him and said, "i talked it over with friend #1 and she said it was okay that you and i go out for coffee...she has a BF anyway, so i had to set her straight on that too..."
-----

Boo x2. Talking to some of the female co-workers would have been a nice try. At least try to make the best of a situation and get a number (or try to) from one of them.

After that, again, they sat down...no communication. he treied talking to her but she seemed to be in "girl-talk/gossip mode". He stepped out a few times for a smoke, and after the last time, when he got back, they were gone...yeah they were drinking, but not enough to NOT say goodbye, or say where they were going.

I personally don't think he was dissed completely yet, but it seems her IL low...if it is, then why ask freind #1 if it was okay?

hmmmm....

thoughts?

----------

Yeah, he got slammed. I don't see how this could seem like anything other than a complete lack of respect. The best thing to do would be to move on, not deal with either of them anymore and take this as a lesson learned.
 

JJMcLure

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Messages
840
Reaction score
11
1) She flaked on him to get drunk with her girlfriends.

2) If she was interested she would have wanted to talk to him right there, rather than wait for some date in the future. Instead she ignored him.

Low IL.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top