love this guy's opinions...

[speakeasy]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/446210922.html

 

[MacAvoy]

I love my opinion and thats your mistake

 

[KontrollerX]

Damn that was one powerful post.

 

[Chrispy]

Powerful. The guy knows what he wants and does not want.

 

[STR8UP]

1. I never seriously date a woman who terminated her last relationship because she wasn't "happy". Happiness is an emotional response to external stimuli. To break the vow of "til' death do us part" over an emotional state that may or may not be another person's fault, is shallow and shows a lack of emotional maturity. It tells me that woman is too self absorbed to be a reliable partner in the future.

While I respect his candor, the above quote reeks of a man who has completely unrealistic expectations.

So if you become unhappy in your relationship you're supposed to grit your teeth and stick it out?

He makes it sound like a woman can go to therapy and gain back the attraction that she lost.

Someone else posted a link to a site that promoted a book by a woman author that explains that cheating on the part of the woman is much more prevalent than we would like to believe, and it went into some the mechanics of WHY women are driven to cheat.

IT'S A FACT OF LIFE PEOPLE!

Yes, women's attraction mechanism is fickle. She is subject to influence from outside factors. That's just how it is.....learn to live with it. All of this "till death do us part" bullsh!t is just that....bullsh!t.

She may not cheat. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn't and breaks it clean BEFORE she goes that route. That shows a lot of character on a woman's part, because many of them are incapable of breaking things off before either A) Securing VERY high odds that she has another mate lined up, or B) She CHEATS.

People around here think I'm too cynical. No, I'm a realist. I know better than to bury my head in the sand and pretend that it can't or won't hapen to me. And if it does, I chalk it up and move on, cause I know that it has nothing to do with me as a man; it happens to the best of us.

 

[Maxtro]

Wow amazing post. Somebody should give that guy a link to this place. Seems like he'd be a nice character.

 

[speakeasy]

I love my opinion and thats your mistake

Someone needs an enema.

 

[speakeasy]

While I respect his candor, the above quote reeks of a man who has completely unrealistic expectations.

So if you become unhappy in your relationship you're supposed to grit your teeth and stick it out?

He makes it sound like a woman can go to therapy and gain back the attraction that she lost.

Someone else posted a link to a site that promoted a book by a woman author that explains that cheating on the part of the woman is much more prevalent than we would like to believe, and it went into some the mechanics of WHY women are driven to cheat.

IT'S A FACT OF LIFE PEOPLE!

Yes, women's attraction mechanism is fickle. She is subject to influence from outside factors. That's just how it is.....learn to live with it. All of this "till death do us part" bullsh!t is just that....bullsh!t.

She may not cheat. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn't and breaks it clean BEFORE she goes that route. That shows a lot of character on a woman's part, because many of them are incapable of breaking things off before either A) Securing VERY high odds that she has another mate lined up, or B) She CHEATS.

People around here think I'm too cynical. No, I'm a realist. I know better than to bury my head in the sand and pretend that it can't or won't hapen to me. And if it does, I chalk it up and move on, cause I know that it has nothing to do with me as a man; it happens to the best of us.

I think he means women that would leave a marriage over fickle reasons. Obviously there could be many things that could cause a woman to be unhappy in a marriage, like if the guy is verbally abusive, or threatening or humiliates here, in that case, unhappiness would be good reason for divorce. I'm guessing the guy means women who will leave relationship because "they need their space" or got bored or "needed to find themselves" or some dumb sh*t like that. I mean in our grandparents generation, a woman that left a marriage for a reason like that would've been sent to a mental institution and there wasn't some illusion that marriage should be 100% romance and giggles from vows till death. I think in the past, because of social taboos on single motherhood and religion, it acted more like a glue to keep marriages together and made it unlikely that women would exit a marriage for the fickle reasons they do today. But the social acceptance of divorce, single motherhood and the waning of the importance of religion means that now divorce is seem as a more viable option than it would've been for our grandparents.

 

[guru1000]

It's good to have "RULES, however women are fallible like everyone else. If he is Tight with his "Rules" and is middle aged with children, he will have a very small pick of the litter. It is great he paints the picture as the "Prize" even though on paper he is not. Ultimately if he is TIGHT, there will be missed opportunities based on dramatic perceptions of past experiences. I say to have knowledge of Women is a great ASSET; however loosen up your "Rules" as to understand noone is perfect and give a chance to know a Woman before you dismiss her based on your "Rules". Dont invest emotionally until she is PROVEN.

No emotional investment ==> No risk.

 

[STR8UP]

I think he means women that would leave a marriage over fickle reasons. Obviously there could be many things that could cause a woman to be unhappy in a marriage, like if the guy is verbally abusive, or threatening or humiliates here, in that case, unhappiness would be good reason for divorce. I'm guessing the guy means women who will leave relationship because "they need their space" or got bored or "needed to find themselves" or some dumb sh*t like that.

But does it matter what the "reason" is?

If a puff of wind causes a woman to lose attraction for a man it's the same as him being unfaithful or beating the crap out of her as far as the health of the relationship beyond that point.

ANY woman has the potential to lose her attraction to a man for reasons that might not be considered "valid". He might even be a great guy, and she might WANT to continue to see him as a suitable mate, but she really has no control over that.

 

[CGE333]

That is great the guy know what he wants and all, but if he thinks his wife left him just because she wasn't happy he is delusional. His wife wasn't happy, because behind his back she was riding the postman or the pool boy, etc... With multiple kids a woman is not leaving due to unhappiness unless she is being abused or she has something on the side.

 

[edger]

Yes, women's attraction mechanism is fickle. She is subject to influence from outside factors.

You mention "outside factors"..are you refering to her friends, family, etc.?

 

[Last Man Standing]

His wife was horing - this is obvious!!! At 40 something - a woman's option for a long term mate is approaching nil - outside the desperate lonely men!!

 

[jophil28]

He wrote that post because he got "dumped".....plain and simple. And, as a way to satisfy himself that he was not seriously butt-hurt by it......he outlines his "new rules", in hopes to avoid a similar fate- in the future.

That is a perfectly valid reson for writing what he did in the way that he did,
HE is now clear about who and what he wants in his lfe. Some emotionally windblown, fickle woman who "feels" unhappy in some moment is not amongst the contenders.
Great post
BTW I printed out this post and had my latest squeeze read it. She said ," I agree with him "

 

[Last Man Standing]

BTW I printed out this post and had my latest squeeze read it. She said ," I agree with him "

Don't get emotionally involved with her - unless you want the same fate!!!

 

[ketostix]

Don't get emotionally involved with her - unless you want the same fate!!!

LOL I don't know what to make of you LMS?

Str8Up, that was me that posted the link to the women author about women's infidelty. What I found amazing is that a woman could be so honest about her own "unjustifiable" actions and to basically come out and say the "matrix" is wrong about women's sexuality and relationships, and women do not have more loyality or integrity in relationships basically.

 

[Colossus]

" If you are walking around looking like you have a beer keg stuffed in your pants..."

:crackup:

Oh man that is priceless..

 

[Knight's Cross]

Allright sure he got dumped. So what. Is he standing up after getting knocked down? Yes he is. Is he clear on what he wants? Yes he is. I give the guy props. Isn't MM about helping others up? He sure looks like he's on a clear path. While I believe that life's not binary, there have to be some hard and fast rules that you will or won't tolerate. He's setting his. Good for him.
KC

 

[Colossus]

The guy says right up front that they are his rules and work best for him. He never espoused it as dogma for the 40-ish dating crowd. While he does have a hardened perspective, he really just set some high bars for potential partners to clear before he invests in them. Those parameters significantly the women he will date in terms of numbers, but according to him he is A-OK with being single and plans to keep it that way.

That post reminds me a lot of my father and his situation--very similar. His wife (my former step-mom of 10+ years) left him because of the same personal 'unhappiness' the guy on Craigslist described. My father is an outstanding man; top of his profession, respected by everyone, wonderful father to his children, great shape, etc.etc. They had their own relational issues like most people, but she basically up and left him (and our family) with no reason or explaination other than she 'wasnt happy'. Completely unexpected. Broke up our family. My father was devastated for a long time, and it really changed my perspective of marriage.

 

[KontrollerX]

He wrote that post because he got "dumped".....plain and simple. And, as a way to satisfy himself that he was not seriously butt-hurt by it......he outlines his "new rules", in hopes to avoid a similar fate- in the future. Him spending all that time to write that post........... was a simple exercise of his coping mechanism, at work. It really means nothing to anybody......but himself.

Means nothing to no one but himself?

Actually much of what he posted from his own bad experiences are good lessons for just about any of us.

As for dumped I think considering his situation being a long term marriage with a whole lot of everything invested "screwed over badly" is more the term your looking for.

And the coping mechanism...don't know about that it read more like venting and a lesson learned to me not some guy trying to come to terms with what happened to him.

He probably posted it on a hugely public site- as a way to get his inner message across, not expecting any feedback. His post is really a self-serving, "pat-in-the-back" to himself, for NOT considering suicide......after what happened to him. Just his way of saying to the entire world, "I DID IT- and YOU CAN TOO!"......I know his writing style, from anywhere.....

Subconsciously with this post you are telling us all that you would've considered suicide in a similar situation to his.

Perhaps this guy was only angered and disheartened and maybe very depressed for a while after this happened to him and only gave this post to help others in similar situations to cope with or avoid what happened to him but it didn't read like he was coping to me with the post but rather venting and sharing his story with the world simply to help others avoid his fate or know they are not alone should it happen to them.

After reading some more I found this from him...

"There ya go. Don't know why I posted this. Saw the comments about people in their 40s dating and this is what came to mind."

Yep, its very clear he only posted to help and vent.

The venting was triggered by what he saw about people like him in their 40's dating.