lots of woman friends, but no attraction?

[PlatoPacks23]

soo at place I take classes a lot, I have made good friends with girls who have boyfriends. We talk a lot, tease, goof around etc and I feel fine and comfortable talking with them

but wit girls who are single, it's almost like they "Sense" I'm single too or something and are way lesss friendly. It's very frustrating!

Ive heard the idea of "make friends w woman" and they can introduce you to other woman.. but Idk? Do I just have to go out with them to clubs/bars and they are like ym social proof?

another example is I was super close with girl who had BF, they just broke up (or having issues) and now she's kinda weird around me .. WAY less friendly and open etc

I'm just trying to figure out what im doing wrong,

I can make good friends with guys
Make good friends with girls who have BF's

and just can't find a girlfriend...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop looking for a "girlfriend". That's your problem. You are giving off desperate vibes to these women and they can sense it a mile away.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Stop looking for a "girlfriend". That's your problem. You are giving off desperate vibes to these women and they can sense it a mile away.

probably.

so what's the mindset to have? just "having fun"?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

probably.

so what's the mindset to have? just "having fun"?

Exactly. Hungry mouths don't get fed

 

[BPH]

Stop looking for a girlfriend and just look to meet more women.

You're looking to buy a car before you even know whether you can drive.

In regards to the "friends with women" thing, I wouldn't suggest befriending people simply because you want to get something from them.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

In regards to the "friends with women" thing, I wouldn't suggest befriending people simply because you want to get something from them.

well I like them (and some guys) because I'm a social guy, but I do enjoy getting to know attractive woman even if they have boyfriends.

its again just a scenario where I see these people 3-4 times a week and obviously am a guy who wants a girlfriend lol

just have to repress it I guess? Idk

 

[Mike32ct]

Women that are taken are generally more friendly than single ones. Single ones have their guard up more. It goes with the territory.

It’s ok to be friends with women that are taken. But I would just look at it as a way to keep your social skills sharp.

You can’t expect anything from it though. There is no guarantee that it will attract other women, and there is no guarantee than any of them will fix you up with any of their single friends.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I have made good friends with girls who have boyfriends

I’m opposed to being involved with other men’s wives, but not opposed to steaking

but wit girls who are single, it's almost like they "Sense" I'm single too or

They KNOW you’re single. You might not be doing a damn thing that appears to be a sign of neediness. You’re womanless and they know it. And women can’t stand womanless men. Unfortunately we live in a time in which this is the case. “What’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” “He was never married? What’s wrong with him?”

Hence the conundrum of the womanless man: damn near every women has a “boyfriend” and the womanless man is left out of finding an ACTUALLY-single woman. The alternative? Steal a girlfriend.

Or get one of lower SMV than you for practice… or happily ever after. Then you can at least have a woman to get women, in the same way an entrepreneur needs money to make money!

 

[Manure Spherian]

Do I just have to go out with them to clubs/bars and they are like ym social proof?

It can work.

What do you rate your SMV, low, medium, or high?

 

[Mike32ct]

They KNOW you’re single. You might not be doing a damn thing that appears to be a sign of neediness. You’re womanless and they know it. And women can’t stand womanless men. Unfortunately we live in a time in which this is the case. “What’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” “He was never married? What’s wrong with him?”

Great point. There is this myth (or overblown stereotype) that every nice guy or chronically single guy is overly needy/clingy/simp-y. Many of them are not. Social circle is more about reputation than anything else. And yes, they know the dating/relationship history of everybody in the circle.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Great point. There is this myth (or overblown stereotype) that every nice guy or chronically single guy is overly needy/clingy/simp-y. Many of them are not. Social circle is more about reputation than anything else. And yes, they know the dating/relationship history of everybody in the circle.

100%! Actually the way a social circle works is the men in it looked upon as high ranking or was there from the start of it, get tastes of all the women in it! That’s how social circles work: intra-screwing/“dating”. Everyone is fooking everyone, literally and figuratively.

The women in such cliques, and yes, in some cases, gangs, are practically OWNED, as they behave so; men outside of these groups cannot penetrate them.

 

[HaleyBaron]

soo at place I take classes a lot, I have made good friends with girls who have boyfriends. We talk a lot, tease, goof around etc and I feel fine and comfortable talking with them

but wit girls who are single, it's almost like they "Sense" I'm single too or something and are way lesss friendly. It's very frustrating!

Ive heard the idea of "make friends w woman" and they can introduce you to other woman.. but Idk? Do I just have to go out with them to clubs/bars and they are like ym social proof?

another example is I was super close with girl who had BF, they just broke up (or having issues) and now she's kinda weird around me .. WAY less friendly and open etc

I'm just trying to figure out what im doing wrong,

I can make good friends with guys
Make good friends with girls who have BF's

and just can't find a girlfriend...

There's so many ways I can address this. So many. Instead I'm going to post pictures since they are worth a thousand words.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Great point. There is this myth (or overblown stereotype) that every nice guy or chronically single guy is overly needy/clingy/simp-y. Many of them are not. Social circle is more about reputation than anything else. And yes, they know the dating/relationship history of everybody in the circle.

I also wasn’t to point out this is why I’m highly against the planned late-bloomer, Silver Fox-revenge scheme espoused by Red Pill/Manospherian madmen! “Just grind 80 hours a week and at 35 you’ll have to fight women off!” Oh wait, now the age of womanizing will be 50. “At 50 you’ll be most attractive to 18 to 25 year old women. Think of it bro. 401k, all sortsa cars and toys, vacationmaxxing, a home.” Haha!

Once a young guy is in a social circle and gets to screw at least one of the females in it, he might very well be set for life to never be womanless! That’s why there are teenaged broccoli heads who have more sexual pull than middle aged RP madmen like Rollo and Michael Sartain. They’re also not perma-angry and constantly barking and bellowing. Some who even older women want to fook! And they’re likely going to be just fine for a long time.

 

[Manure Spherian]

There's so many ways I can address this. So many. Instead I'm going to post pictures since they are worth a thousand words.

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I’m not sure what the OP’s tale of odd man out has to do with your post. Can you explain?

 

[SW15]

Just grind 80 hours a week and at 35 you’ll have to fight women off!”

That doesn't happen for 35 year olds for various reasons.

The typical 35 year old male (childless or single dad) is a pussie beggar who ends up taking whatever similarly aged scraps he can get.

It's better to avoid being a planned late bloomer as you discuss. That's true for many reasons.

soo at place I take classes a lot, I have made good friends with girls who have boyfriends. We talk a lot, tease, goof around etc and I feel fine and comfortable talking with them

Ive heard the idea of "make friends w woman" and they can introduce you to other woman.. but Idk? Do I just have to go out with them to clubs/bars and they are like ym social proof?

Do you ever talk to your female friends with boyfriends about the unattached women she knows? Have you ever directly asked about introductions?

It's also possible there could be a planned group social outing where you happen to meet one of those unattached friends.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I’m not sure what the OP’s tale of odd man out has to do with your post. Can you explain?

This is for him to look at and figure out. I didn't say anything for a reason. Wisdom is better served from self realization.

 

[Clockwerk50]

1. Be attractive
2. Do not be unattractive

Putting sarcasm aside, you might keep getting put in the friend zone because you may have anti-seductive traits, such as insecurity and self-absorption. Anti-Seducers often interpret the slightest ambiguity as a betrayal and are unable to engage in the seductive process due to their anxieties and self-consciousness. You may also come off as a doormat, cheap, lacking style, or even impatient, which can make you less attractive. These qualities can make it difficult to spark deeper connections, as they repel potential partners.

If that’s not the case, then you might be too familiar and too common in your dance classes—there’s nothing mystical, bewitching, or cool about you. Familiarity destroys seduction, especially when your targets begin to idealize and fantasize about you, only to realize that you’re too consistent and too obvious; the classes you go to “a lot” as you said gives me this impression. To keep their attention, you need to maintain a degree of distance, embody something fantastical or poetic, and leave room for them to dream and imagine who you might be. You can embody the ideal of a father figure, someone devoted, protective, and strong; or perhaps a rogue, someone mysterious and a little dangerous; or even someone with a touch of evil, embodying the thrill of the forbidden. The key is to create an aura of intrigue, something that keeps them captivated and longing for more.

You may benefit from mode one to stop heading directly into the friendship abyss.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

1. Be attractive
2. Do not be unattractive

Putting sarcasm aside, you might keep getting put in the friend zone because you may have anti-seductive traits, such as insecurity and self-absorption. Anti-Seducers often interpret the slightest ambiguity as a betrayal and are unable to engage in the seductive process due to their anxieties and self-consciousness. You may also come off as a doormat, cheap, lacking style, or even impatient, which can make you less attractive. These qualities can make it difficult to spark deeper connections, as they repel potential partners.

If that’s not the case, then you might be too familiar and too common in your dance classes—there’s nothing mystical, bewitching, or cool about you. Familiarity destroys seduction, especially when your targets begin to idealize and fantasize about you, only to realize that you’re too consistent and too obvious; the classes you go to “a lot” as you said gives me this impression. To keep their attention, you need to maintain a degree of distance, embody something fantastical or poetic, and leave room for them to dream and imagine who you might be. You can embody the ideal of a father figure, someone devoted, protective, and strong; or perhaps a rogue, someone mysterious and a little dangerous; or even someone with a touch of evil, embodying the thrill of the forbidden. The key is to create an aura of intrigue, something that keeps them captivated and longing for more.

You may benefit from mode one to stop heading directly into the friendship abyss.

Can you explain what you mean by self absorption? ... And also "slightest ambiguity as a betrayal" ? Both sound like things that might pertain to me.

im def not the other things you mentioned, besides possibly "impatient" and definitely not mysterious.

OTOH though I feel like mode one is pretty similar to being 'impatient' if the girl is not into you..

 

[PlatoPacks23]

^ I have male friends too I just (lately) prefer hanging out with attractive woman who have BF's. How is that humiliating myself?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Can you explain what you mean by self absorption? ... And also "slightest ambiguity as a betrayal" ? Both sound like things that might pertain to me.

im def not the other things you mentioned, besides possibly "impatient" and definitely not mysterious.

OTOH though I feel like mode one is pretty similar to being 'impatient' if the girl is not into you..

I’m not only talking about impatience or the other traits you mentioned. There are additional anti-seductive qualities like insensitivity, inattention, talking about yourself too much, or other traits that could also be playing a part. To clarify your questions:

Self-absorption refers to being so focused on your own thoughts, needs, or concerns that you're not fully tuned in to the other person or their feelings. For example, when you're overly concerned about how you come across, or focusing too much on your own desires and ego, you may miss subtle cues or signals from others, which is very unappealing. In seduction, the key is not to be consumed by your own ego but to give attention to the person you're trying to connect with. When you're too absorbed in your own world, you can inadvertently create a barrier that makes it hard for others to connect with you.

As for "the slightest ambiguity as a betrayal," this refers to a tendency to interpret even the smallest lack of clarity in interactions as a personal slight. If you're overly sensitive to changes in behavior or signals, you might overreact and assume someone’s backing off or pulling away when it could just be a momentary shift in their attention. This can create unnecessary tension and push people away, making you come across as insecure or overly reactive.

In your case, you might be too self-focused in getting a girlfriend instead of paying attention to the subtle details that could help you build more meaningful connections.

Nonetheless, women don’t want to **** the guy that is always there and not give them tingles. Your luck may vary at different venues where you will be labeled as that “amazing dancer”.