"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Lost Set Last Night After Too Much Wine

J

JBB84

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I had a 3rd date with a girl last night who I am very interested in. We hooked up afterwards and I lost all common sense and said to her "I really like you a lot" to which she responded "you're drunk" ! After she left I asked if she got home okay and she said she did and had a good time. I proceeded to say we should try to hang out this weekend and she didn't respond, probably because she went to bed, but I haven't heard from her yet today. I am worried about showing too much interest and letting her see my cards so to speak. I need to keep my mouth shut when I'm drinking! How can I recover from this? I am planning on not saying anything until she does, I'm so mad I may have messed up major progress with my drunk mouth last night. Frustrating.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JBB84

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I think I'm going to have to. Her interest has dropped dramatically since I did this. So pissed.
 
I

IsiMan84

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Just for informational purposes, a 'set' is a girl or group of girls that you have approached and are currently talking to. This was a date or day 2.

There's nothing wrong with admitting you like a girl; in fact I think it's better to state your intent than to do nothing. I'm not sure what you define as 'hooked up' but you probably came off a little needy with the post-date antics.

The only time you should be texting a girl is when you're arranging a meetup, or trying to find her right before said meetup. Which means you shouldn't be talking to her more than once a week. That's right...once a week. Which means you need to get more girls.

For the simple fact that you're worried about her non-reply and dissecting every little move you made, combined with your hurriedness to meet up with her again (Wed and then Fri/Sat), my guess is that this is the only girl you're currently doing anything with.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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J

JBB84

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I think what I meant to say was my "frame" possibly, thanks for the correction. I have a good amount of girls trying to talk to me, I am very picky myself and did like that particular girl and prefer to spend my time/money with someone who I feel chemistry with and am very attracted to. I see the mistakes that I made in the moment and I definitely came off too eager to hang out again. I backed off and got a long text from her about how much she likes me and it scares her but she doesn't want anything serious right now because she's going to be working & in grad school at the end of the month hence extremely busy. I half believe it, but I think I also messed up. Lesson learned.
 
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