"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Lost Set Last Night After Too Much Wine

J

JBB84

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I had a 3rd date with a girl last night who I am very interested in. We hooked up afterwards and I lost all common sense and said to her "I really like you a lot" to which she responded "you're drunk" ! After she left I asked if she got home okay and she said she did and had a good time. I proceeded to say we should try to hang out this weekend and she didn't respond, probably because she went to bed, but I haven't heard from her yet today. I am worried about showing too much interest and letting her see my cards so to speak. I need to keep my mouth shut when I'm drinking! How can I recover from this? I am planning on not saying anything until she does, I'm so mad I may have messed up major progress with my drunk mouth last night. Frustrating.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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J

JBB84

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I think I'm going to have to. Her interest has dropped dramatically since I did this. So pissed.
 
I

IsiMan84

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Just for informational purposes, a 'set' is a girl or group of girls that you have approached and are currently talking to. This was a date or day 2.

There's nothing wrong with admitting you like a girl; in fact I think it's better to state your intent than to do nothing. I'm not sure what you define as 'hooked up' but you probably came off a little needy with the post-date antics.

The only time you should be texting a girl is when you're arranging a meetup, or trying to find her right before said meetup. Which means you shouldn't be talking to her more than once a week. That's right...once a week. Which means you need to get more girls.

For the simple fact that you're worried about her non-reply and dissecting every little move you made, combined with your hurriedness to meet up with her again (Wed and then Fri/Sat), my guess is that this is the only girl you're currently doing anything with.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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J

JBB84

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I think what I meant to say was my "frame" possibly, thanks for the correction. I have a good amount of girls trying to talk to me, I am very picky myself and did like that particular girl and prefer to spend my time/money with someone who I feel chemistry with and am very attracted to. I see the mistakes that I made in the moment and I definitely came off too eager to hang out again. I backed off and got a long text from her about how much she likes me and it scares her but she doesn't want anything serious right now because she's going to be working & in grad school at the end of the month hence extremely busy. I half believe it, but I think I also messed up. Lesson learned.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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