"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Losing the conversation during the date...

Babnik

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Sorry for making another thread...

You are on a date and suddenly there is just nothing to talk about...

What do you do?

I try to just END the date there and go away.

However, often you have to drive her back or walk back (if its on the way) and then not talking is even more awkward.


What do you do when there is nothing to talk about? Like on the first date or so....


Do you also leave? Do girls perceive it as the right thing to do or do they lose interest?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Jay Jay

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Read the paper every day. You'll always have something to talk about.

What you should do is think about things that interest you.

Write em down. Go through your list and edit out all the topics you won't want to talk about (playstation, masturbation, this site etc) and think about why they interest you. Finally think how you can discuss these topics in an interesting way.

For example I am interested in history. Sure its a topic that is boring but its a part of me and if a chick is turned off by it then I shouldn't be with her. If conversation lags, "I was reading about Julius Ceasar the other day. Did you know it is recorded in history he had a huge penis?" There you go. If she doesn't respond then I will give her a battle by battle run down of the Gaelic Campaigns.

Hopefully you have cooler interests then me...

Talk with a slow regular tempo and in a deep tone. Chicks will be mezmorised just by your voice.

The next thing to learn is how to get her to talk.

The best skill to develop is listening. Once you can listen properly you will pick up what a girl is interested in. Ask about it. She will talk. Act interested. Nod your head. Say "yeah, wow." Repeat.

JJ
 

Gangster Of Love

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Become an interesting person and you will never run out of things to talk about, because she will be the one inquring and wanting to know more about you.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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insanity

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if the girl is truly interested in you, than she won't shut her pie hole. every girl that asked me out talked and talked and i just sat there and teased them about some of the stupid things they said. if a girl asked me out she better entertain me.

if i was the one who asked her out i would go on an action date where talk takes a backseat to excitement. then after you do something fun with them the ball is easily rolled
 

The Forms

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for the most part conversation should be easy. I understand there can be awkwardness, and that's where stupid small talk questions come in handy (so where'd you grow up? ) You can use those to segue into more lively conversation.

If the conversation never really happens, it just means you two don't click. No biggie.
 

Babnik

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Gangster Of Love said:
Become an interesting person and you will never run out of things to talk about, because she will be the one inquring and wanting to know more about you.
Well, it means you are not likely to bed her too...
 

Lust

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Babnik said:
Well, it means you are not likely to bed her too...
I don't see why it would.

Personally, i think if you are geniunely an interesting person, if will give her more excuses to screw you and to avoid the slut feeling.
 

Distant Light

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I don't get how you can run out of things to say. There is no way you should be out of things. Only guys who think highly of what comes out there mouth. (thinking one conversation is cooler than the other, or one topic might be lame, etc)

The conversation should be fun for you so who cares if she doesn't like the conversation. Either way you had fun. There is so many things that I've done and said that were stupid but always gets them laughing and keeping the conversation going. I remember a 2set who my friends knew, I had them laughing and my friends are like "WTF why is it all his crappy jokes getting them laughing."

But really its not about the content its how you convey it and how you frame it. If your still having the "I ran out of things too say" then you really need to approach more and learn to hold conversations for hours and hours.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Lust said:
I don't see why it would.

Personally, i think if you are geniunely an interesting person, if will give her more excuses to screw you and to avoid the slut feeling.
Works for me! :D
 
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