Losing that drive

[killerasp]

Im not sure if what i am feeling is normal, but after my first date with that girl, ive lost the motivation to date her again. She is a great gal and i had great fun on the first date, but something in me doesnt want to jump to the phone to call her and ask her out again. Is this a normal feeling?

 

[Chewy Bagel]

Yes, but usually I can pin point a reason as to why I don't want to see her again.

 

[killerasp]

hrrmm......im not sure why to be honest.

i know she is interested in me, that isnt the question, but i think im just looking for her to take the initiative and show me that. statistically, on average how many of the girls that you people dated would actually intiate something?

sometimes i rather just chill out at home after a long day rather than go to her place and chill. no motivation.

 

[Howie Farkes]

Maybe it's because you made such a big production of it, built up hopes for it, had great expectations for it. And even though it was a success it wasn't mind blowing, it didn't make the earth move and you're still Killerasp and she's still just some girl.

It think you're just feeling a little underwhelmed - subconsciously thinking "I did all that work, suffered all that nervous energy, and now it's over and I have to do it all again?"

You've had your first date now, but just remember to make sure that dates 2 thru 100 are more relaxed, more fun, and have less expectation heaped upon the outcome. Your attitude going into a date can often have more effect on your feelings afterwards than what actually happens during the date.

 

[killerasp]

are dates only considered one on one outings?

 

[HollowHorizon]

Sometimes you have t go with your gut...I also had the same feeling but the problem was lazyness

 

[killerasp]

Originally posted by HollowHorizon
Sometimes you have t go with your gut...I also had the same feeling but the problem was lazyness

yeah. true. last time i didnt listen to my gut and i got screwed over with a girl.

i guess i just have to spend more time with her to get know her better and vice versa. of the times we hung out, i feel that my C&F side appeared more during non date outings. i guess im gonna have to readup on some things before i hang out with her tomorrow night.

 

[So pimp its scary]

When I was building up my game, I scored a ONS and I had a date with another girl the next day (where I would have shagged her), but it had been so long that I just didnt' have the motivation to f*ck for a couple days later.

Sometimes it just happens, it's usually a sign that you need to get a lil closer with yourself and figure out what it is that you want at this point.

But, you can still talk to her without making another date...

Or, you could just get up and force yourself to go out, and make the best of whatever happens...

Or, you could just wait around untill your motivation returns...

The choice is yours? There are always ups and downs.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You've had your first date now, but just remember to make sure that dates 2 thru 100 are more relaxed, more fun, and have less expectation heaped upon the outcome. Your attitude going into a date can often have more effect on your feelings afterwards than what actually happens during the date. [/B][/QUOTE]


That's the WHOLE PROBLEM!! He can't afford to have more "relaxing" dates until he's completely reeled her in. That's why I was warning him not to put so much effort into something that should be casual and loose.

Killerasp: Bro your a bright person. I'm not denying that. But you THINK TOO MUCH!! You can't plan out every littel detail. You are too dependent on reading articles and field reports to feel confident in your game. That's not smart. You need to go out in the field and date, date and date some more to gain experience. This will not only teach you what you like and what you don't, but it will don wonders for your game.



PIMP

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle
That's the WHOLE PROBLEM!! He can't afford to have more "relaxing" dates until he's completely reeled her in. That's why I was warning him not to put so much effort into something that should be casual and loose.

You're absolutely right that he's probably raised her expectations a little high - but when I said "dates 2 thru 100" I didn't necessarily mean that those dates were only to be with this 1 chick though did I?