Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Losing my religion

NeverEasy

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I am afraid that improving yourself is a safe way to destroy your deepest friendships.
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As I am improving myself, I see my close friends not being able to follow. Simply because they are not sensing what I am sensing.
I have this best friend of mine. We have known each other for only three years now, but we used to be as close as can be. It is impossible to describe the friendship we used to have, but it was definately more of a friendship than most people are lucky enough to experience in their lifetime. When he broke his arm and had to stop weightlifting, the most important thing in his life, I was literally crying for him. When I was struggling, hew was crying for me. I honestly love him without being gay.

Now, while I am educating myself, working on my business, delving into foreign cultures, planning each of my days, weeks and months, my best friend is just floating around. He has no motivation, no great goals, no optimism whatsoever. He has already decided to live a sh!tty life, because "that's just how it is". At the age of 20!

My closest friends are hanging out watching TV, guessing who farted. I have not turned on the TV in months.
They are lurking around at ther ****ty jobs. I am getting up at 4 AM in the morning fully excited about the business I am setting up besides going to school.

I would be so happy if my best friend would get a life, but it seems like he unconsciously disregards my attempts on doing so.

I am not trying to bring myself up by talking my friends down. I am not more valuable than my friends or any other person on earth. I am just incredibly sad that I will probably destroy my deepest friendship just by taking care of myself.


Life is bigger.
It's bigger than you.
And you are not me.
The lengths that i will go to.
The distance in your eyes.
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REM - Losing my religion
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Kumar

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NeverEasy said:
I am not trying to bring myself up by talking my friends down. I am not more valuable than my friends or any other person on earth. I am just incredibly sad that I will probably destroy my deepest friendship just by taking care of myself.
Each of us chooses the life we want to live. You yours, he his... This is one of the hardest thing to do, to actually move ahead and leave those relationships behind. But you know what? You can always come back and visit, I can assure you they will most likely will be at where you left them.

K
 

Lion

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Good post, I often feel the same about most of my friends. You have to just get out there and do the things you want to do, even if it means leaving them behind. The overall result will be worthwhile.
 

johnmich

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A valid post, but why are you losing your religion? Do you like REM?
 

Johnny Double

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You don't have to lose your friends just cause you're changing, just hangout with 'em and take it easy.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Zog

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I somewhat understand what your going through. I went through something similar in my mid teens.

Just before I turned 18 I started reconnecting with them. Recently I have started doing more and more to improve myself. What I have been doing is finding the ways I can relate self improvement to whatever the person I am hanging out with is doing with their life. Some are starting to get intrigued.

Ultimately its your decision. You probably need to find new friends who are on a similar path to what you are on, but at the same time, you may wish to remain friends with the buddies you grew up with. over time you will probably be able to help them help themselves.

GL
 

iwant

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You have to take the good with the bad, Smile with the sad, Love what you got, Remember what you had, Always forgive, but Never forget, Learn from your mistakes, but Never regret, People change, Things go wrong, Just remember life goes on
 

chickenlegs03

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Espi said:
Bro, you're gonna find some people we consider "losers" today will be very successful 10 years from now. Life's funny...and unpredictable...They're 20; that's pretty freaking young. Just because they sit around today doesn't mean they won't be a CEO in a few years.

People change...I'm sure you can think of a few girls in your grade school who were butt-ass ugly...but eventually grew into HB's...

You're an exceptionally motivated young man, and my hat's off to you...

But I invite you to consider the possiblity that you're a role model to these guys...it may seem ridiculous now, but your motivation and hard work could very well rub off...not now, perhaps...but 5, 10, 15 years later...you never know.

So just live your life and stop taking your friends' lifestyles so seriously...they have the right to their life, just as you have the right to live your own.
great post :up:
 
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