Losing Friends As I Get Older

[Dynamited]

Hey guys,

I'm coming 43 this year and my social circle has shrunk to a miserable state.

Almost all of my friends are married and you know once that happens, trying to meet up with them is next to impossible.

Plus I've recently ended my LTR so that's someone close to me out of my life.

I'm a rather introvert person so I don't really enjoy hanging out at bars and such.

Even making new friends at this age can be challenging.

Anyone else in the same boat as me?

 

[wifehunter]

Everyone is too busy trying to survive. Don't expect too much.

 

[Mike32ct]

Generally, married women don’t want their husbands to have single guy friends.

I have one good married guy friend. His wife thinks highly of me, but that’s definitely not the norm.

 

[Dynamited]

Generally, married women don’t want their husbands to have single guy friends.

I have one good married guy friend. His wife thinks highly of me, but that’s definitely not the norm.

That's very true. Some don't even like me texting their husbands like I'm some secret lover.

 

[Mike32ct]

That's very true. Some don't even like me texting their husbands like I'm some secret lover.

Haha. I can only speculate. Maybe they assume we’re gonna take hubby to the strip club? Or to a regular bar/club to get him laid lol?

 

[Alvafe]

Haha. I can only speculate. Maybe they assume we’re gonna take hubby to the strip club? Or to a regular bar/club to get him laid lol?

actually I bet more on the fear she have on her hubby do like she does when she is with her friends, group presure to ***** around, that tell me more about the woman then anything really, remember the soliptism? she can't undertand anything other then her own experiences, so if she is afraid then hubby will stray because a single friend, guess what did/do when she had a single friend?

at most when some old group of friends want to meet for beers I force a confirmation of the group, saying, so who of you will go and who your wife don't let you go?

 

[speed dawg]

Generally, married women don’t want their husbands to have single guy friends.

I feel sorry for men who let this sort of thing go on. F*ck those women and f*ck their cuck husbands too.

 

[Billtx49]

Generally, married women don’t want their husbands to have single guy friends.

Yes, many wives see marriage as their man entering a different time in his life. The main issue is her trust level in her man as to whether he can have a night out with the boys without her in tow…

 

[lamath]

Hey guys,

I'm coming 43 this year and my social circle has shrunk to a miserable state.

Almost all of my friends are married and you know once that happens, trying to meet up with them is next to impossible.

Plus I've recently ended my LTR so that's someone close to me out of my life.

I'm a rather introvert person so I don't really enjoy hanging out at bars and such.

Even making new friends at this age can be challenging.

Anyone else in the same boat as me?

Friendship is something you need to feed, you need to stay in contact with your friend and meet once in a while.
I never had that problem almost all my friend are married or ltr now, but we still see each other often.

However what i find hard is finding ppl to go out with me, and friends in ltr are not the best for that obv.
They do go out with me sometime but not enough for my taste, positive thing is all their gf/wife like and and some have some cute single friend for me to meet.


For me team sport like hockey and softball help me meet new ppls and wingman.
If your not into sport take up some fun class like cooking etc you will meet new ppl.

 

[logicallefty]

OP, I'm right there with you. Almost all of my friends are married. Out of those, very few of their wives like me much anymore. That's because they know deep deep down that my eyes see a world that they never want their husband/my buddy to ever see. That world being red pill reality. My life long best friend who I once saw 3-4 times per week from 7th grade up until our late 30s lives 10 miles from me. I haven't seen him in over a year now. A few years ago I helped him catch his wife misbehaving and after that he went distant, and has dropped hints about his wife hating my guts. I can put two and two together, he ain't hanging with me because she is forbidding him to, and he's too much of a chump to stand his ground. Otherwise, a lot of friendships break down for people our age because people are very busy these days, and very tired. A lot of married men are working like dogs and then coming home to a wife that sucks the rest of their soul out, leaving nothing there to be friends with anymore. Between work and the wife there aren't even any scraps. Or you got people working more than one job like me. I still do go out with friends, mostly with my GF and a couple other married couples who the wife still can stand me, those couple I have left. Not as much "out with the guys" anymore. But again, it's not just you or just me, I think it's a LOT of people in their late 30s, 40s, and older.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Join your local freemason lodge

 

[GT40]

Life happens and friends come and go. Most of the people I know text. We get together here and there. But texting has made society so impersonal.
I have a few friends who are divorced and single. My wife doesn’t seem to care

 

[zekko]

If you can’t find a decent social life, why not get involved in the community? Give out some soup to the homeless? Join a project helping old people? If you can’t get a social life, and that is super hard in 40s, at least spend some time helping people. Or get a shared interest.

Shared interest is a big one, especially with guys. I think probably all my friends come down to shared interests.

 

[jaymbrs]

Yea man same here. Some where the wives don't like that I'm single and living a fun life and some where they don't trust their man (my friends) to be apart from them. It's a dumbass situation and honestly there's nothing I feel that can be done except for moving on with your own life. I've learned that there are some men who don't think their friendships are as important as the relationships with their significant others.

 

[AJ84]

Some women do this too, drop off after getting married and esp after having kids, basically for the same reasons mentioned here, hubby not wanting her hanging out with single people is not uncommon.

We had a woman in our book club for years who hung out with me and another girl all the time. She got married and the last time I saw her was at her wedding two years ago lol. Totally ghosted the book club too.

I think too, as people move through the so called benchmarks of life, time, energy and interests change. When we move through adulthood and have less time for leisure, some people become more picky about who they choose to spend their little free time with and tend to narrow down their social circle to a handful or so of people.

But when people drop life long friends that’s so sad. I don’t get that. The book club girl wasn’t a life long friend so I don’t care as much but my best childhood friend, that would hurt if she dropped our friendship.

 

[17 shots]

**** friends

 

[glass half full]

So guys that drop the connection with their friends (especially single ones that certainly value it even more and that add even more edge to their social proof dynamics) are not the brightest bunch.

Lol- apparently, many of my ex-friends aren't the brightest bunch.
But I knew that, and to be around them you'd see they have very high opinions of themselves. This was something I battled when I was single...their women would say things like "we prefer to go out as couples". The one who said those very words, is on at least hubby #6...no joke. After showing me their true selves, I split.
Hoping to find better people when I move. I've been in my area for far too long, through thick and thin. I've done some housecleaning.

 

[ariesc]

Hey guys,

I'm coming 43 this year and my social circle has shrunk to a miserable state.

Almost all of my friends are married and you know once that happens, trying to meet up with them is next to impossible.

Plus I've recently ended my LTR so that's someone close to me out of my life.

I'm a rather introvert person so I don't really enjoy hanging out at bars and such.

Even making new friends at this age can be challenging.

Anyone else in the same boat as me?

OP. This happens to everyone it seems. Best thing for me is I have a ton of hobbies. Thankfully my job constantly introduces me to new people, but it is SO difficult to find people that you connect with. Like many, all my close friends are now married, and NONE of their wives like me lol. I've been told they aren't too keen on my "player" like tendencies, as I'm usually cycling through women I meet from online dating sites. I literally just got out of an LTR and am jumping back into the dating pool... But one thing that has helped as a constant is my dog. Honestly, my dog has been there with me through all types of s*** life throws at you and I never feel alone. She's a great companion and is loyal as they come. Depending on your living situation, how much space you have, and how much free time you have, I'd suggest looking into bigger breeds like German Shepards, Rottweilers, Labradors, etc. They have a ton of energy so you'll need to have time to play with them.

 

[San]

That's very true. Some don't even like me texting their husbands like I'm some secret lover.

you are probably, why else would you text them?.. come on.. spill it baby..

 

[kintsugi]

I've found the same thing as the OP.
Friends and also siblings just go off the social map.
I really think it's a time thing, I notice this most with siblings who are married with kids - they are fire fighting the whole time and really don't have time for anyone outside of their family. Maybe it's just modern life.
I've found a good bunch of male friends through hunting/fishing - some are younger and single, some are married with kids. Again, the married ones come on trips much less than the younger/single dudes.
Yep, you need to feed friendships - I'm aware of this but tend to drift a bit and then realise that several months have gone by!