"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Looking for some online dating help!

Jifto

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2017
Messages
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Hey all,

I'm new to the OLD scene (and quite frankly the DJ scene itself) and was hoping for a few pointers.

I recently got out of a bad relationship with a girl that was wrong for me, but was beautiful. If I'm being honest with myself, I have a bit of oneitis still and I'm trying hard to kick it. That's where online dating comes in.

I'm 31 and live in the suburbs of a big city. There really isn't anything around me and my friends have all entered the "family and kids" stage of life, so I don't have my group to go out with anymore. I've done alright in the field, never a Casanova, but I held my own.

So far I've encountered a few things on OLD (using Match) that I'd love some feedback on:

  • I think my height holds me back (I'm 5'6). Ultimately, I'm fine with this. I have preferences too and don't mind women that can't get over being only a few inches shorter than their partner. I have a really good salary and am decently looking and in shape. The problem is that I usually pull 7-8's in the field just fine (still short girls), but with OLD I'm getting replies from 5-6's max.

  • I've had a few instances where we'll exchange a few messages and then it dies off. I'm guessing this is probably par for the course, but I'm not sure the reasoning behind this and what I can do to improve.

  • A few prospects will reveal in their messages that they were not honest about a detail. These have tended to be pretty big details too (a city several hours from the one listed, different age, etc.) I've been writing these off with the idea that if you can't be honest at this stage, I don't really have any interest.
So far I'm not super pumped about OLD. I've seen girls have accounts and just use them to laugh about guys messaging them (read: insecure and they like the constant random flattering.). Any ideas for other avenues?

As always, thanks gents.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
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I'd bump your height up by 2 inches...most guys I know do this if they are under 6'0". Never was called on it...just make sure you are going out with girls 5'6" and under.

It is what it is really...just stick with it and you'll start to see patterns and if you experiment enough you'll start to discover what works and what doesn't.
 

Jifto

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2017
Messages
108
Reaction score
70
Thanks Marmel. I'm thinking of going on a few dates with these 5's and 6's too just for some experience. I've always prided myself on never having dated an ugly girl (in fact I've actually dated a couple 9's imo, of course). But since this is just online dating and not relationships, maybe it'll be a good learning opportunity.
 
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