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Looking for some advice please

MountainSlide

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So I used to flirt with this girl all the time and it was awesome she always seemed so into me and I had a huge crush on her too. But, I had a girlfriend at the time, so wasn’t a possibility. After I’d broke up with my now ex, I was going through some hard times in life. And I went on a date with the girl. Didn’t go well because I was super stressed.

Anyway, after the failed date I asked her again if she’d like to go out and she said yes. Then I tried to make plans but she wouldn’t commit to anything solid, then kinda phased me out. (Took longer and longer to respond so I did the same).

Stopped messaging her about 6-12 months ago. I’m in a much better place now and would like to give it another shot. Would like to know if anyone has advice for me to maximize my likelihood of getting another date??
 

oldmanofthesea

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I've found that most girls who write you off will not try again. Especially if they have plenty of options. You're much better off putting your energy into meeting new girls you have made no mistakes with. It seems you are already putting this girl on a bit of a pedestal so that's likely not going to work out well. Plenty of other girls out there. Focusing on maximizing response for one particular girl already puts you in the wrong frame because all you can do is hit a girl up and see if she wants to meet up with you. Either she does or she doesn't. It's not a man's job to present things in a certain way in order to get the best chance of success... That's like PUA tactics. She's either interested or she isn't.

But if you really must try, in terms of messaging a girl with something that will grab her attention, I would suggest the "let me guess" tactic, where you make up a ridiculous fake story phrased as a question about what's happened to her in the past months, or send her a pic of you doing something fun/interesting combined with a question as to what she's up to. I've had success with both of those.
 
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jaymbrs

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First off how old are you? How old is she?
 

Kotaix

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That's tough to come back from if you don't see her on a regular basis, contacting her over the phone isn't likely to work because she can ignore you. If you know places she frequents I would try to make a "chance encounter" happen so you can talk to her face to face and she can see that you're different. In a sense it's good that you haven't talked in a long time, but you better be a much better version of yourself to have a shot at her writing you back into her life.
 

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jaymbrs

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6-12 months is a long time unless you guys still maintain some form of contact through mutual friends, work/school. If so, then you have a higher probability of making something happen. But if not, then your chances are slim to none. She probably has a boyfriend by now since she's in that peak age range where guys are throwing themselves at her.
 

flowtheory

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Simple. Reach out to her, then prompt a date idea in the second message. If she’s interested, she will be favourable to your idea. If she’s not interested, you’ll know.

Don’t over complicate or overthink this one. And don’t go thinking she’s made out of gold.
 

Brooks

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So I used to flirt with this girl all the time and it was awesome she always seemed so into me and I had a huge crush on her too. But, I had a girlfriend at the time, so wasn’t a possibility. After I’d broke up with my now ex, I was going through some hard times in life. And I went on a date with the girl. Didn’t go well because I was super stressed.

Anyway, after the failed date I asked her again if she’d like to go out and she said yes. Then I tried to make plans but she wouldn’t commit to anything solid, then kinda phased me out. (Took longer and longer to respond so I did the same).

Stopped messaging her about 6-12 months ago. I’m in a much better place now and would like to give it another shot. Would like to know if anyone has advice for me to maximize my likelihood of getting another date??
Just call her and ask her out.. this is simple.
 
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