"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Looking for input

Tin Pan Alley Man

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I've liked a particular girl for quite some time. We went to high school, had the same circle of friends, and have kept in touch. I'm in the service, so I've probably only seen her 7 or 8 times in the past 2.5 years.
When I was in Iraq, she wrote regularly of her own volition. The letters didn't contain much fluff. Mostly "Take care of yourself", "I think of you all the time", "I'm missing you like crazy", "sorry to go all mushy on you but..." followed by sweet b.s. Her earlier letters were signed 'affectionately, xxxxx'(nickname I gave her). The last few were signed 'love', and contained some obscure sexual references (the entymology of the word 'orchid', which means testicles, and the sex habits of iguanas). She never before struck me as a sexual person.
There has always been some sexual tension between us, but she's always had a boyfriend. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years. I'm effective at hiding my emotions, but I'd really like to at least find out once and for all if she'd be up for something more. I'm naturally close-mouthed and she "can never tell if am serious/can't figure me out, etc. She's a lovely young woman, and probably won't be on the market for long.
She's a strong person, but friends and boyfriends have always leaned on her, and her best friend, whom I'm also very close with, says that underneath the sunny exterior she's not very happy.

I'd like to be the strong man she can lean on, although I'm probably grasping at loose straws. My plan is to just go in for the kiss. While I'm not optimistic, I'd rather know for sure. Have any of you been in any similar situations? How did it turn out? Both positive and negative comments would be most appreciated.

Thanks, and sorry if it's a bit incoherent.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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diablo

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It sounds like you've already gotten things completely in hand. The only problem I can see is that you aren't there to take advantage of them... an issue that I hope you remedy during your next leave? She's obviously becoming more open about her feelings for you by the "progression" of her letters; now that the b/f is out of the picture you should have a clear playing field.

Just out of curiosity... how did she incorporate the mating practices of iguanas into the closing of a letter?
 

SamePendo

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Isn't there a movie on this?

Poor guy dies. Made me cry. More than Bambi I think. Isn't it called "My first Kiss"?

Are you dating? Do whatever it takes for her to know your intentions, ask her out, get sexual (kino) etc. And then, yes, kiss her.. is this your first kiss ever? If so, well, it aint anything special.. just put lips together.. and.. done. Because, right now.. from what you said, you're just a friend.
 

Tin Pan Alley Man

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Thanks for the replies guys.

Diablo, she was studying abroad in Ecaudor while I was overseas. In one of her emails, she spoke about a trip to the Galapagos Islands, and wrote a couple of paragraphs about the mating season of the Galapagos iguanas, and how I would have enjoyed it. Definitely threw me for a loop
 

DrSoSuave

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She might have something special inside of herself for you from how you tell us the way she writes those letters. Like what you are thinking about, probably going for your kiss might reveal what she truly thinks of you.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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