BetaNoMore
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2018
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 53
I've been married for 12 years. My wife got pregnant three months after our wedding and I couldn’t bring myself to abandon my unborn child. Why would I even consider that? Because during our first several years my PTSD wife from an alcoholic and rageaholic divorced mother disrespected everything I asserted using primarily passive aggressive techniques with a sprinkling of aggressiveness as well. When I made a request, she would either freeze like a deer in headlights or agree to it and then conveniently forget. If I tried to hold her accountable to her commitments, she would attack me in defensiveness.
She was completely unaccountable and unreliable. It was so confusing and disorienting to me. We clashed constantly. Eventually I told myself that I would give it time and “work to make things better” and tried to avoid issues that would provoke clashing, which was any desire or request originating from me. I LET HER BULLY ME. Sick, isn’t it? I now understand that I went Beta.
We ended up having 3 kids and continued basically the same relationships. A few years ago, I rebelled. I told her I couldn’t do this anymore, that it was sick. Instead of becoming accountable, my wife went on the offensive and accused me of being controlling and manipulative. She has this sick narrative of emotional abuse I’ve put her through, how she was never enough for me, etc. I don’t know what to do. I am seriously contemplating leaving my family even though my youngest is only 5 years old.
What I’d really like to do, however, is learn how to conquer such a dominating woman. I want to learn how to dominate a dominator. I figure I can use these life skills throughout my life and at least it will give me a productive reason to be in the marriage while my children get a little older. If I had the right guidance, it could be fun as well. Anyone out there able to help me?
She was completely unaccountable and unreliable. It was so confusing and disorienting to me. We clashed constantly. Eventually I told myself that I would give it time and “work to make things better” and tried to avoid issues that would provoke clashing, which was any desire or request originating from me. I LET HER BULLY ME. Sick, isn’t it? I now understand that I went Beta.
We ended up having 3 kids and continued basically the same relationships. A few years ago, I rebelled. I told her I couldn’t do this anymore, that it was sick. Instead of becoming accountable, my wife went on the offensive and accused me of being controlling and manipulative. She has this sick narrative of emotional abuse I’ve put her through, how she was never enough for me, etc. I don’t know what to do. I am seriously contemplating leaving my family even though my youngest is only 5 years old.
What I’d really like to do, however, is learn how to conquer such a dominating woman. I want to learn how to dominate a dominator. I figure I can use these life skills throughout my life and at least it will give me a productive reason to be in the marriage while my children get a little older. If I had the right guidance, it could be fun as well. Anyone out there able to help me?