"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Looking at weekly instead of daily calories opens up an exciting array of possibilities...and better results

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,985
Reaction score
19,330
Have been experimenting with something the past month, and that is looking at weekly caloric totals to determine caloric deficits instead of daily.

Why? Because I realized something that I probably should have realized a while ago.

I can eat anabolically to build muscle on days when I am lifting heavily and doing weighted sled pulls, maintenance levels on the other 2 days, and still be in a significant caloric deficit at the end of the week since I fast twice a week.

My TDEE based on my activity level is somewhere between 2900-3050 depending on what calculator I use. I just use the low end. I am extremely active in terms of activities...intense strength training 4 days a week, weighted sled pulls on leg and back days that act as HIIT, and walk 12-15K steps at least 5 times a week of not every day.

My body needs fuel. And I realized something along the way...I can be more effective eating anabolically during training days and fasting twice a week than I could of I simply did a 500 calorie deficit each day OR of I fasted twice a week and didn't up calories the other days.

Let's do the simple math.

2900x7=20,300 calories a week

Running a 500 calorie deficit each day would give me 16,800 calories for the week.

Now, let's do the math on what I do instead:

Leg day and back day with sled pulls: 3400 calsx2=6800 calories
Chest day and arm/shoulder day: 2900 calsx2=5800 calories
Non-fasting off day/pilates: 2700 calories
2 fast days:0 calories

Weekly caloric totals: 6800+5800+2700=15,300

Not only am I creating a 5000 net calorie deficit on a weekly basis versus a 3500 calorie deficit if I simply did a deficit of 500 calories a day, I am also eating anabolically or at maintenance for 4 of those days, which is going to aid in building muscle on those days.

The results have been pretty astonishing to me so far...the scale has roughly stayed the same but I look bigger, the tape measure is lowe around the waist and bigger everywhere else, veins are popping and looking spidery which is clear sign bodyfat is disappearing and my abs are starting to really come in as well as my obliques.

IMHO, taking a bigger picture view and stepping back from the daily and out to the weekly has helped tremendously with progress in terms of recomping and did it far more effectively than fasting and eating deficit calories.

Would suggest more people try this. Even if you don't want to fast, eat anabolically on lifting days and then cut calories steeper to create a deficit on off days and track your progress compared to a steady deficit.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,792
Reaction score
2,125
If you don't already watch dude is one of the best resources for planning new diets, gets really into the nuances of decision making, like the fasted cardio video he breaks down why and when you would and wouldn't do so as opposed to which is better


 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
4,140
Reaction score
899
Age
52
I could see this. If you train hard and dont eat enough you can easily become very fatigued.

breaking things into days and weeks may not truly reflect how our bodies metabolism works.

i know you had another post about flux
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,985
Reaction score
19,330
Sure enough, I woke up today at my lowest weight in at least 5 years...

It's kinda crazy how every time I get stuck at a certain weight, the answer always seems to be start eating more.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,985
Reaction score
19,330
Another pound down from yesterday's low, even tho I ate 2800 calories again...

It's just astounding to me how this seems to really stoke the metabolic fire inside of me to the point fat looks like it almost disappearing by the day in certain areas.

Just seems so weird and counterintuitive how the body works which I think is why so many struggle with losing weight. Common sense dictates you need to cut calories to lose weight, but the body reacts eventually by lowering your metabolism to even things out.

By upping your caloric intake to maintenance or above, no such modification occurs and then when you fast the result is pure fat getting burned. Additionally, after a fast your metabolism is actually HIGHER than prior to the fast, so this seems like it works to again push the body into a cycle of increasing the metabolic rate day after day.

The increase in calories seems to have a greater effect thermically inside the body from upping the metabolic rate which then seemingly burns fat at a higher rate while using those excess calories to help build more muscle, which creates a positive feedback loop since muscle is metabolically active and helps burn more fat.

Almost equate it to pouring gasoline on a fire when the fire is dwindling and starting to go out.

I am going to look into this more and see what I can find scientifically because there has to be some sort of metabolic effect that is greater than what you would expect for this to actually cause this type of result.

At the very least there is far more to all this than calories in/calories out at the end of the day. That I can say with near certainty.
 
Last edited:

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,985
Reaction score
19,330
Well I can't gain weight, I've been eating a lot clean food, also some "bad" food to get the calories. I'm stuck in 170lbs, eat 4-5 meals, mostly carbs and protein. I'm on peds also, but damn I can't get to 180lbs no matter how much I eat. I started doing some HIIT cardio cause I was getting sluggish, will see if that makes me hungrier.
Start taking weight gainer shakes. Easy classic bodybuilding one they used to use was half heavy cream to half pineapple juice...that's about 1600 calories right there.

Not great calories but if you simply need lots of calories to try and see where the tipping point will be it's and easy way to get in lots of them quickly, and it tastes really good to boot.
 
Last edited:

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,906
Reaction score
1,659
Age
48
Yes, that’s actually what carb cycling is. People have been doing it for a long time. I got shredded to the bone with it.
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,906
Reaction score
1,659
Age
48
Well I can't gain weight, I've been eating a lot clean food, also some "bad" food to get the calories. I'm stuck in 170lbs, eat 4-5 meals, mostly carbs and protein. I'm on peds also, but damn I can't get to 180lbs no matter how much I eat. I started doing some HIIT cardio cause I was getting sluggish, will see if that makes me hungrier.
Have you kept a food journal for seven days and calculated your average daily intake?

How tall are you?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,536
Reaction score
8,536
Age
37
Well I can't gain weight, I've been eating a lot clean food, also some "bad" food to get the calories. I'm stuck in 170lbs, eat 4-5 meals, mostly carbs and protein. I'm on peds also, but damn I can't get to 180lbs no matter how much I eat. I started doing some HIIT cardio cause I was getting sluggish, will see if that makes me hungrier.
You aren’t eating enough. Time for GOMAD (gallon of milk a day). Also, are you eating enough of oats, white rice, and beans?

Most hard gainers are way undershooting their carb macros. You need 400g of carbs minimum on a weight gaining program. 500g is even better.
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,906
Reaction score
1,659
Age
48

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,985
Reaction score
19,330
Brutal deficit. How much fat do you have to or want to lose?
It's not what it seems. The deficit comes from 2 fast days. The other days are slightly above maintenance or maintenance.

The fast days help release massive pulses of GH which protects muscle while helping release fat stores for energy, and also increases metabolism post fast.

So the net effect is that I am driving my metabolic rate in a positive loop upwards instead of driving it in a negative loop downwards like happens typically when you cut calories.

Currently around 12-14% BF, average of the tape measure methods says 13.3%.

Veins are spidering in my arms, bicep vein is coming in nicely, top 4 abs are showing well, next set of 2 is starting to uncover, the "ab panel" outline that the 6 pack sits within is appearing and starting to see obliques come in as well.

Looking to get down to around 10ish and then sub 10. Hopefully by end of winter this year. I have a plan on place to ensure I do not do my usual winter move of gaining a bunch of weight.
 

obelisk

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2023
Messages
332
Reaction score
324
James Smith has a pretty decent YT video about this where he uses colored free weights to illustrate his point (link escapes me). Looking at things across a full week helps you to overcome any days of totally going off the rails without immediately falling into all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinking and to get back on the wagon sooner.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

tightgrp

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
137
Reaction score
82
Age
56
Have been experimenting with something the past month, and that is looking at weekly caloric totals to determine caloric deficits instead of daily.

Why? Because I realized something that I probably should have realized a while ago.

I can eat anabolically to build muscle on days when I am lifting heavily and doing weighted sled pulls, maintenance levels on the other 2 days, and still be in a significant caloric deficit at the end of the week since I fast twice a week.

My TDEE based on my activity level is somewhere between 2900-3050 depending on what calculator I use. I just use the low end. I am extremely active in terms of activities...intense strength training 4 days a week, weighted sled pulls on leg and back days that act as HIIT, and walk 12-15K steps at least 5 times a week of not every day.

My body needs fuel. And I realized something along the way...I can be more effective eating anabolically during training days and fasting twice a week than I could of I simply did a 500 calorie deficit each day OR of I fasted twice a week and didn't up calories the other days.

Let's do the simple math.

2900x7=20,300 calories a week

Running a 500 calorie deficit each day would give me 16,800 calories for the week.

Now, let's do the math on what I do instead:

Leg day and back day with sled pulls: 3400 calsx2=6800 calories
Chest day and arm/shoulder day: 2900 calsx2=5800 calories
Non-fasting off day/pilates: 2700 calories
2 fast days:0 calories

Weekly caloric totals: 6800+5800+2700=15,300

Not only am I creating a 5000 net calorie deficit on a weekly basis versus a 3500 calorie deficit if I simply did a deficit of 500 calories a day, I am also eating anabolically or at maintenance for 4 of those days, which is going to aid in building muscle on those days.

The results have been pretty astonishing to me so far...the scale has roughly stayed the same but I look bigger, the tape measure is lowe around the waist and bigger everywhere else, veins are popping and looking spidery which is clear sign bodyfat is disappearing and my abs are starting to really come in as well as my obliques.

IMHO, taking a bigger picture view and stepping back from the daily and out to the weekly has helped tremendously with progress in terms of recomping and did it far more effectively than fasting and eating deficit calories.

Would suggest more people try this. Even if you don't want to fast, eat anabolically on lifting days and then cut calories steeper to create a deficit on off days and track your progress compared to a steady deficit.
Good stuff. Daily caloric deficit and muscle building just doesn't work. Kudos on the steps. Walking is a totally underrated fat burner.
 

tightgrp

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
137
Reaction score
82
Age
56
It's not what it seems. The deficit comes from 2 fast days. The other days are slightly above maintenance or maintenance.

The fast days help release massive pulses of GH which protects muscle while helping release fat stores for energy, and also increases metabolism post fast.

So the net effect is that I am driving my metabolic rate in a positive loop upwards instead of driving it in a negative loop downwards like happens typically when you cut calories.

Currently around 12-14% BF, average of the tape measure methods says 13.3%.

Veins are spidering in my arms, bicep vein is coming in nicely, top 4 abs are showing well, next set of 2 is starting to uncover, the "ab panel" outline that the 6 pack sits within is appearing and starting to see obliques come in as well.

Looking to get down to around 10ish and then sub 10. Hopefully by end of winter this year. I have a plan on place to ensure I do not do my usual winter move of gaining a bunch of weight.
Keep us posted on your progress. I have had my best success with periodic single day 36 hr fasts. Just too damn active to do more than that. Whenever I initiate a change like this, it usually goes great initially then at about 2-3 weeks there is a crash and burn and I learn a hard new lesson about the human body.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,985
Reaction score
19,330
Keep us posted on your progress. I have had my best success with periodic single day 36 hr fasts. Just too damn active to do more than that. Whenever I initiate a change like this, it usually goes great initially then at about 2-3 weeks there is a crash and burn and I learn a hard new lesson about the human body.
I will...getting a full body scan done in 2 weeks on a Styku machine which is a new technology that is supposed to compare very favorably to a DEXA scan but is less expensive.

Will post my results from it.
 
Top