Long Term Relationship Disccussion. When should an LTR end?

[girlsarecrazy]

I just fvcked her the other day, she's screamed my name in bed for the first time ever! She opened up so much sexually to me, sex finally turned great between me and her. UGH. I can't wait until my next relationship. It's going to be so much better.

I'm in this loop right now:

Her attraction drops. I act like i don't care, her attraction rises, i still act like i don't care, she becomes afraid of me, i call her up and get her excitied for something, we do the something, her attraction rises, i start to care, i tell her i care, her attraction lowers.

I'll call it quits as soon as she fvcks up again. One wrong move on her and she's gone. The past 2 days things have been turning around positively. It would be too much of a surprise for me to end it here. I'll be bothered with phone calls crying, "What did I do wrong?" if I ended it right this minute.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Alright now you're confusing me man, I've been keeping up on this thread and your story seems to change every time you post something.

I already told you this relationship is going in the wrong directions and it seems like it has been for a long time.

Your first post made the problem sound simple, but everytime you posted after that you kept adding more problems. I think you should ask for another DJ's help because everytime I give advice, you add something new into the picture.

But I'm sticking with my old advice, if there are THIS many problems in the relationship, then it shouldn't be worth your time. You can take that advice if you want, but if you keep insisting to keep this relationship, then definitely follow another DJ's advice. Because that is exactly what I would do in this situation, and I'm not going to make anything up of what you should do.

 

[girlsarecrazy]

The problem is that her emotional state goes up and down herself. She is a very insecure individual herself.

During the time of school, she really was on lock down with her parents and couldn't go out and party. I came in her life around this time, I gave her attention, she gave it back, we both became extremely happy. We never fought. She told me, "I want this relationship to last", and she had always talked about our future.

Now schools out, her parents are relaxed on her restrictions and I see her going back to her old ways trying to get attention from everyone to help her insecurity. Now i'm not a big priority anymore in her life because she's going out and grabbing attention from other people and becoming a lot more happy with other things. But I don't know if this is a sign of our relationship maturing or a sign of her flaking out and not being the girl I knew. I'm just giving it time. I miss the "crazy for each other stage" that's all.

 

[The_Lifter]

Frankly, I think your 'relationship' is fvcked up. She's immature and she's looking for the drama that all women crave, and you, bless your cotton socks, are there as her emotional *****.

Since you did get ‘back together,’ which is on a par with Bush invading Iraq in terms of idiocy, you have to see her for what she is - a fvck buddy. How's that for a title sweet cheeks?

Women get emotionally invested in sex, that's probably why her IL is rising and also because she has to chase you for it- sex therefore has more value, as do you. Having said that, she clearly has commitment issues. So when your IL goes up in response to hers she a) thinks that you're becoming too attached which will make things 'weird' and b) you're becoming less of a challenge.

 

[Desdinova]

One night she called me asking for LQ for her friend and I told her no, and she whined and cried to me and i got pissed at her. Then she called me back and said she's sorry.

That should have been the end of it all.

Then later in the night she called me, I ignored because i was at a party. I call her back, she's at another party and is trying to get off the phone w/ me. I say "fine! whatever don't talk bye".

Then you acted like an assh0le.

The problem is that her emotional state goes up and down herself.

In case you didn't know this before, I'll let you in on it.... SHE'S A WOMAN. Every woman's emotional state goes up and down. That's what they thrive on. That's what gives them excitement. That's what makes their lives interesting.

With the way you've been behaving throughout this whole thing, you'd be doing her a favor by ditching her.

Ever since then, she's been hanging out with her friends more, not texting me goodnight, not calling me for longer periods of time. While i'm like WTF went wrong. I thought we we're going to be better.

If you want someone who wants to hang out with you every minute of the day, get yourself a puppy instead of a girlfriend. If you can't accept the fact that her life doesn't completely revolve around you, you're better off ditching her.

Now, for your REAL problem (which isn't your gf):

I hold myself back from calling her, I hold myself back to not show my insecurity, I hold myself back to not show how much I want to actually see her.

Being a Don Juan doesn't mean that women want to spend all their time with you. Being a Don Juan is knowing that you don't need a woman to be happy. Women, for the most part, are a pleasure. They're only a necessity when it comes to reproduction. Reproduction has nothing to do with being happy.

When you truly adopt this mindset, you won't have to worry about not showing your insecurity because you'll have none. You'll know that if she leaves you, you'll be fine and will be able to find other women.

Work on adopting a new mindset instead of trying to control the old one.

 

[Latinoman]

Being a Don Juan doesn't mean that women want to spend all their time with you. Being a Don Juan is knowing that you don't need a woman to be happy. Women, for the most part, are a pleasure. They're only a necessity when it comes to reproduction. Reproduction has nothing to do with being happy.

When you truly adopt this mindset, you won't have to worry about not showing your insecurity because you'll have none. You'll know that if she leaves you, you'll be fine and will be able to find other women.

Work on adopting a new mindset instead of trying to control the old one.

Very well put. Something worth remembering from time to time.