"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Long Distance Relationships

BuddhaSMASH

Don Juan
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40
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Tennessee
Any advice here would be helpful. Here's my situation. About 8 or 9 months ago I moved from Tennessee to Texas. Right before I moved I met a girl who we will call Mixie. We hit it off and got along well, but never really had any kind of relationship because I knew I was leaving. Well, about a week ago I went to go visit my friends back home. When I got to town I ran into Mixie. We went out on a date and ended up having quite a bit of "fun". Here's the issue. In 9 months I'm moving permanently back into my old town and Mixie knows this. She's always talking to me online telling me about how she can't wait till I get back so she can see me and we can be together. She even told one of her friends that she wanted to move in with me. Here is my concern: should I really be communicating with her frequently while I'm this far away? I don't want to fall into the dreaded friends zone before I even get back. Is there any way I can stay in contact with her so that she doesn't forget I exist, yet keep from becoming one of those "really nice guys"?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BuddhaSMASH

Don Juan
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Tennessee
Really? Every couple of days? That seems a bit overly frequent to me...
 

cactus3178

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
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48
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P-Town 503
Your going back in 9 months? Call her maybe every couple weeks, keep it short-ish and fun on the phone. Don't answer her emails immediately. Keep it a bit of a mystery, and when you get back, hook up.
 

Broadband

Don Juan
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Mar 18, 2002
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Portland, Oregon
When you do talk to her tell her some things you've been doing even if it isn't true, but leave out details. Always have a good story that involves a women who was flirting with you or atleast couldn't keep her eyes off you from a distance. She'll get green eyes and want you even more.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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