"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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long distance relationship - how to communicate

theposter

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Hey all,
So I'm in college and over this past Christmas break got together with a girl from my high school. The thing is we live 1000 miles apart, and obviously that limits my options. The last time I saw her was when she came to visit during her spring break, and before that I had only spend 4 days with her (two at her apartment with just the two of us, and the others hanging out with mutual friends). I will admit that I'm nothing special in bed, and am probably a 7, but I think she's more into my personality and especially the way I treat her (****y and funny with lots of sarcasm). She's offered to let me move in with her and had discussed staying together after we graduate, and I feel the same but have tried not to let on as much as she has.

Well anyways, we have talked virtually every single day since I flew home after christmas, but 99% of that has been over AIM or text messages. It's always a mix of me messing with her, talking about ourselves and current events, and talking about what we'll do when we're together again. Since she left to go home after seeing me for her spring break a few weeks ago, we've talked on the phone in bed once a week, and I plan on sticking to that routine until we're together for the summer. I asked her if she typically dumps boyfriends or gets dumped and she claims that the two real boyfriends she's had in the past (real being more than a month, she says) got dumped because they stopped paying attention to her. I want to give her all my attention but know I shouldn't, but how much is too little?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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LDRs are typically a royal pain to sustain if there isn't a solid, in-person foundation already established. Distance is not the best manner in which to get to know a person.
 

lebRambo

Master Don Juan
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dude, you are in COLLEGE. You will never again be surrounded by this many hot, intelligent women as likely to fvck you as you are right now. Start fvcking!
 

Memorex

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lebRambo said:
dude, you are in COLLEGE. You will never again be surrounded by this many hot, intelligent women as likely to fvck you as you are right now. Start fvcking!
Dont listin to that scrub

Texting everyday and talking on AIM isnt what you should be doing. Talk everyother or every three days to make her miss you some so you dont talk about the same boring conversations everyday. This semester is almost over and you'll be able to communicate a lot more since you will be together over the summer.

Just lay off the talking a little for the next week or two (however long your Finals week is) and keep busy (study, gym, hobbies, whatever...). But dont ignore her. If she text you just keep it short.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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